Screenwriting : Need a little help from a woman writer by Doug Nelson

I write with my wife and she tells me all the time the key to writing a strong woman character is don't worry about her gender. Just have her do something that you would find interesting, regardless of her gender and then you'll surprise yourself. Just don't make her bite her lip....god help us all, lol.

Women genuinely attracted to someone often try NOT to show their interest, playing it cool, taken aback by their own feelings. It all depends on "individual" female character. One woman might lean over the table making sure she shows her cleavage and eyeball man but equally another might sit back in her chair and throw a sarcastic comment. We can give more detail if know exact scenario!

Thanx Debbie. I understand that without a scenario it's difficult. I block scenes as I write them: In this case it's EXT. PARK - DAY She sits on a bench looking along a path (OTS shot) as he approaches, comes into focus, stops (pull into a MS). I guess I'm sort stuck doing a Reverse Angle to get a CU money shot. I just want the audience to see her interest in him. Meaty for the right actress.

By her smile, dressing a wound, giving him a keepsake memento or telling him her puppy likes him.

Doug Nelson In the park bench scenario, and assuming they don't at this point know each other, have her be doing something at the start, like feeding the pigeons or reading or getting a sandwich out of a bag to eat. Then simply have her notice him and contemplate him with interest, which makes her stop what she was doing.

One thing many women do, as a reflex, when they notice a guy is sit up straighter, smooth the hair, and smile. It is subtle, but unmistakable.

How do they actually meet? She could take the initiative, like ask if he wants to feed the pigeons or whatever fits your set-up.

I would say a simple elongated glance, appraising him when he is not looking. If he notices her, she looks away, tries to act casual. Good luck with the short!

use your imagination and make whatever entertaining with the tools of the drama trade.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=pBz0BTb83H8&feature=youtu.be

Everyone shows interest in different ways. It’s all about personality. Is the character a very direct person or are they an observer? Do they like a challenge or are they tired of the runaround? Grand gesture or a simple action?

Hi Doug, I would say maybe "side-eyes him up and down" or "discreetly checks him out. Likes what she sees". Also, it could be just in the eye contact. Smiles at him with a cheeky grin. How do they meet in the beginning?

Just another note, it's really all in the eyes for us women. How we look at you says a lot. If we peer at you, it's probably because we don't like you. If we can't make eye contact upon meeting, we're shy. If we like what we see, our eyes smile. Maybe this will also help : )

Thanx one & all. It's evident that I'll need a reverse shot from the initial OTS and that I'll need to pull in to a CU to capture the eyes. Now all I need to do is find the right Actress to give me that money shot.

Okay, sorry but being a sitting back person that gives "cometh here looks" wasn't my bag. I made up some stupid reason to talk to them. The guys were great, they didn't judge it, they just jumped in most of the time.

Rohit and Barry - go somewhere else to have your rants. Don't hijack this post.

Hi Doug,

There's generalities ; touching hair, putting hand near mouth... There's great info on body language online that you can draw interesting material from.

The real question is: how will YOUR character do it? Who is she? A bad ass? a shy woman? That will determine her moves. You can find a character in already-made films to scan her reactions.

Personally, I always ask myself "what would be the best way to show the internal emotions and show something else relevant to the story" and link it to the action that showcase that specifically. Ex: She's attracted AND she's blunt. She's attracted AND doesn't want to own it. etc.

Also: I often write in actions lines the "feeling" of the moment. Then the director will be able to break it down in several shots, add music, go with close-up etc:

Ex:

Eyes connect. Sexual tension.

She realizes, he's watching her. She blushes and tries to concentrate on what she's working on.

She looks at him. His hands, his hair, the crease on his neck, his mouth. Perfection.

Hope this helps you... Good luck!

My

Rohit. Personal attacks are not allowed here so please stop it.

Thanx Myriam, it's all helpful. I look at a scene from a director point of view as I write. Never having been a girl I'm not really clear on how to capture the appropriate body language this character needs to subtly get the message out to the audience.

Doug Nelson I love how you asked for a woman's opinion and all these men answered your question...but I would say if this woman is a character in the short and not just Random Character A, it's in her DNA what she's attracted to. All women (biologically) want a provider and nurturer. So his act would have to speak to what she's looking for specifically (ie if she's previously said she hates mansplainers, seeing a guy defend a woman and say "hey guys let's let her talk" this woman would maybe smile, nod, and then check him out physically.). In general, guys with dogs, or guys who interact with babies/kids show that they are "father material". Her physical action is going to come from her character is she newly broken up, just about to get married to the wrong guy, in single limbo - lots of different reactions. It sounds like he just appears and she's struck love at first sight, which happens, and that's fine, but then have him also do the one thing that's on her "list" that checks her box. Hope that helps!

Agree @Christine but some may not recognize eyes smiling, audience aren't all intellectual psychologists. I'd add a "TINY" bodily quirk EG Foot taps under table, fingers or toes move a bit more forward, strokes wine glass, sweat appears on forehead, a red blush from makeup artist appears on face, openly begin to shake her head cos she's not sure but then halt and put on a false grin, maybe he isn't a prat? ETC. Choices are infinite depending on scenario, sure you'll be spoiled for choice with actresses @Doug.

She twirls her hair and when he looks at her she quickly looks away.

Thanx ladies - sure wish I'd known this 50 years ago during my free wild adventure days.

(This isn't an action - more so dialogue) I think knowing a man's weaknesses is very powerful. If she knows the male hero's flaw, what makes him not such a "hero", it makes it seem as if no one else really "gets" him but her. There could be one conversation where she just totally tears him apart and reveals his flaw, but also humanizes him by admitting she has the same flaw, and there's nothing wrong with being "flawed" (the classic "we're the same, you and I" conversation between protagonist and antagonist). But she soon realizes she must transform / can no longer be complacent with this flaw, and he fully embraces it. Her transformation results in her being able to "save" the hero turned antihero.

Debbie Croysdale you don’t have to be an intellectual psychologist. Bit of an exaggeration.

by her body language-flick hair, smile, look him in the eyes, touch him if she speaks.

The storyline has the two characters switching roles - she's becoming the A character (hero) but needs him to move forward; I've got them touching and eye locked. Now she just needs to lead him into the next scene. I'm amazed at how many males explained the subtleties of the female character to me.

So much more information is needed. What exactly is she interested in? As an anti-hero, would she be all about the physical encounter and not interested in sentiment? How do they know each other - work, family/friend connection, chance encounter? What's her strength as the anti-hero? Her flaw should come through in this initial approach.

If I were to put some part of my personality in it, I would find something on him to chat about and compliment - a shirt, tattoo, piece of jewelry. But I play a very long and honorable game. I look for someone who sees me as a person before I can open up and flirt. These are the nuances that aren't female, but that can be. I think you have to dig further into the character's wants, needs, strengths and flaws to know what she would do.

I'd recommend reading/watching Fleabag. She's an anti-hero who shows attraction towards several men throughout the series. Although she breaks the fourth wall and shares her inner thoughts with the audience, she also uses a lot of body language and expression. Plus, it's just a great show!