A college computer nerd creates a dating website, only to discover it has matched a girl he met offline with his archenemy.

SYNOPSIS:

Set on a university campus, Love Dot Com focuses on computer nerd Barry (early 20s) who is extremely brainy but totally inept with girls. At the start, Barry receives a biggest geek award at the computer science finalists’ dinner from the mean but popular Dave. After continuing to be humiliated throughout the evening as circumstances conspire against him, Barry laments his failure with girls, and his friend John says this is because of his constant nerdy analysis of everything including love. Barry, however, argues that science is his strength and decides to develop a dating website on the university network that will use all of his technical knowledge to assess compatibility.

Unfortunately, Barry’s completed site reveals that he only has a compatibility rating of over 50% with three girls, and, on reading their profiles, they all look unsuitable. He is about to give up altogether when by chance he meets Lucy, a drama finalist, and they get on well. He learns that she has met someone on his dating website (though she does not know he created it) before discovering that their own rating is only 2%, presumably because she is into the arts and he is into science. As he trusts the latter so whole-heartedly, he initially backs off, but John persuades him to at least audition for the same university play as her, which is run by Professor Katherine Rouchet (50s), head of theatre studies at the university.

The audition is a disaster for Barry as it includes a lot of outlandish exercises that are more suited to flamboyant divas, and he fails it. Lucy gets in, as surprisingly does Barry’s slobbish friend Ross, but it is only when Barry discovers it is actually Dave (who has been given the lead in the play) who Lucy has met through his site that he decides he cannot let the situation lie. He therefore substitutes his formula on the site for another (which he also created during development) that gives him and her a higher rating than she has with Dave. As he reasons it is still a scientifically verifiable formula, he does not stop to think too much about the effect it will have on how everyone else on the site is paired.

Barry naively thinks that Lucy just has to look on the site, see she is a better match with Barry and everything will be sorted. John, however, points out that not everyone trusts science as much as him, and that Lucy may simply think she’s already happy with Dave. In other words, if Barry wants to win Lucy he has to do more. Barry thus bribes his way into the play, and, in scenes they improvise during the rehearsals, reveals a detailed knowledge of her interests (which he obtained from the back end of the site). Dave grows nervous at this, but also notices that the dating website is now seeing strange couples start to form across the university campus. Popular girl Stacey has suddenly become fascinated with Geeky George’s far from fascinating facts about canine quadrupeds; Rich who always used to feel the rhythm of life and go with the flow is now determined to shampoo Bryony’s cat at 5.00pm sharp each day, while Jeremy and Kirstin can’t sit together for more than 23 seconds without becoming more amorous than anyone ever should in public!! Barry is also confused by this so looks more closely at the new formula, and grows anxious when he realizes what it actually does!

Meanwhile, Dave manages to hack into the university computer network to discover it was Barry who created the dating website, and lets the whole university know by sticking posters around the campus that make Barry look ridiculous. Lucy is furious as she realizes how Barry knew so much about her interests, but Professor Carter (60s), the head of the computer science department, becomes interested because he is looking for ways to attract funding to the department. He therefore ‘invites’ Barry (who realizes he has little choice) to address the department’s Appliance of Science dinner, held to attract sponsors.

John cannot understand why Barry should be so nervous about his impending speech, so Barry confesses to him that the site’s new formula, which he originally only created for control purposes, does not rate the love between two people at all, but rather the lust! It is thus a measure of how much two people will want to rip each others’ clothes off and dive into bed, and means that all of the newly formed couples attending the dinner are likely to turn it into an orgy! Barry fears that Professor Carter will throw a fit, and that no potential sponsor will throw their money at the department. Things do, however, go better between Barry and Lucy as another improvised scene at a play rehearsal sees Dave show his aggressive side and nearly strangle Barry. Lucy agrees to accompany Barry to the dinner, and Barry feels that with Lucy believing in him he can achieve anything.

John and Ross plan to get Professor Carter and the department’s potential sponsor, businessman Simon Harding (40s), drunk at the dinner so that they leave before anything untoward happens. Barry tells John he plans to tell everyone the truth about his website during his speech, and, much as John tries to dissuade him, Barry says he cannot keep deceiving everyone, especially Lucy. When Barry subsequently proclaims the truth, he expects the students’ wrath and they initially sound disparaging at it dawns on them that there is no love between any couple there. Everyone is simply with the person who will give them the most carnal gratification. Then, however, they cry ‘best sex ever’ and proclaim Barry a hero as the dinner erupts into an orgy (this scene can be made as tame or rude as the director wishes). Professor Carter and Simon are absent, taking in some fresh air, when the orgy starts, but unexpectedly return and gaze on it. Professor Carter is initially shocked but changes his tune when he sees a big smile appear across Simon’s face. Lucy, however, is angry that Barry seems happy he has got an entire campus engaging in loveless sex. She says she is definitely with Dave now, and walks out on him.

Simon believes if the site went global Barry would make millions as there is a huge market for lust. He offers to fund all start-up costs in return for a share, but insists that Barry finds a girlfriend using the site to help publicise it. Barry initially refuses as he wants to mend things with Lucy, but Professor Carter persuades him as Simon would also fund the department, which it turns out is facing closure due to financial pressures. Barry goes on several dates to try to find a girlfriend. These lead him into all types of situations as, for example, he ends up performing a Riverdance in front of a packed Irish pub, but all ultimately end in disaster as without Lucy there to believe in him he is just a geek again. On one such date, Barry innocently walks into a situation with two girls where he is expected to take part in a threesome – or rather a foursome as it turns out Dave is also there!

At the final play rehearsal Barry tries to tell Lucy what Dave has been doing behind her back. As Dave retaliates he crumbles with suspected appendicitis and is rushed to hospital. Barry is forced to take Dave’s role in the play but the audience contains miserable couples who by now see there is no love between them, and are proving incompatible as people. In anger they chase Barry off the stage, and he only avoids a lynching because Professor Rouchet, who says she has been in theatre long enough to know when one is imminent, manages to hide him. With everyone hating him, no girlfriend and the department doomed, Barry concludes that science doesn’t have all the answers. He decides simply to tell Lucy that he loves her, but Professor Rouchet reminds him that trusting his heart doesn’t mean forgetting science altogether. She points out that if he and Lucy are not right for each other, no algorithm will ever make them so, but if they are then the correct formula would show it. Barry realizes that if he could discover this he would be able to help everyone else find their perfect partner. After spending hours slaving away, Barry recalls something Lucy once said to him, and suddenly realizes what he omitted from his original formula. Adding this gives him and Lucy a very high rating and matches everyone else appropriately.

Barry rushes to the finalists’ boat party to tell everyone the news. This proves to be far from straight forward as the speedboat that he, John and Ross use to reach it proves difficult to control and starts to sink. When they finally arrive no one is willing to listen after all the pain Barry has caused. However, Lucy has discovered that Dave wasn’t rushed to hospital with appendicitis but rather testicular strain, making her think that what Barry tried to tell her about him is true. She therefore engineers events to ensure that the crowd listens when Barry addresses them. Barry gives an inspiring speech as he finally asks everyone to check the site again on their cell phones. When everyone does this they really do find their perfect partner on the site, while Dave discovers something about himself. Lucy, seeing Barry’s efforts to help everyone find happiness, realizes that she really does love Barry.

Although the site no longer rates lust, Simon declares at the computer science graduation that he will fund it anyway after seeing that even the crusty Professor Carter has managed to find love on it – with the flamboyant Professor Rouchet of all people! Dancing erupts as everyone celebrates their graduation and newfound love, and Barry declares that it is fine to put your faith in science as long as you always trust your heart.

LOVE DOT COM