It is intriguing, although conflict isn't clear. Your story is about the protagonist accepting he'll lose a battle and die in it? He has no interesting goals to be achieved before his gloomy fate?
First of all, thanks everyone for all the comments. Wow, I feel honored ! Where we find conflict in this story is him coming to terms with defeat and death. How he deals with it will bring conflict, an internal conflict. Does he stand down and surrender, or does he hang himself to avoid being captured, and lastly, does he come out with guns blazing etc? A man of his rank and stature is under much pressure he can do anything. We are actually reworking the story and will have a new Log line. In the mean time please have a look at the first three minutes we shot. The video is the last thing I uploaded in my video section. Please tell me what you think? Thank you again for your comments they are much appreciated.
Rated this logline
1 person likes this
It is intriguing, although conflict isn't clear. Your story is about the protagonist accepting he'll lose a battle and die in it? He has no interesting goals to be achieved before his gloomy fate?
Rated this logline
2 people like this
I agree with Gustavo Freitas, why is he facing defeat and death? What is the conflict?
1 person likes this
First of all, thanks everyone for all the comments. Wow, I feel honored ! Where we find conflict in this story is him coming to terms with defeat and death. How he deals with it will bring conflict, an internal conflict. Does he stand down and surrender, or does he hang himself to avoid being captured, and lastly, does he come out with guns blazing etc? A man of his rank and stature is under much pressure he can do anything. We are actually reworking the story and will have a new Log line. In the mean time please have a look at the first three minutes we shot. The video is the last thing I uploaded in my video section. Please tell me what you think? Thank you again for your comments they are much appreciated.