I've read for the Austin Film Fest for several years now, and I wanted to invite other readers (or screenwriters who regularly read for their peers/friends/etc.) to add their thoughts to a running list I've been putting together. Working as a reader, whether it's for a film festival or at a desk in...
Expand postI've read for the Austin Film Fest for several years now, and I wanted to invite other readers (or screenwriters who regularly read for their peers/friends/etc.) to add their thoughts to a running list I've been putting together. Working as a reader, whether it's for a film festival or at a desk in an agency or management company, is a heck of a lot of work, but it can be a worthwhile education in what to do and what not to do when getting your own words on the page. You get a good look at some familiar pitfalls while occasionally hitting gold and discovering an exciting new voice or writing method. My thoughts are below:
Put yourself In the shoes of the audience
Does the audience need a little break from the drama? Has it been a while since they had a good "wtf?" moment to keep them on their toes? Obviously write the film or show you would want to see, but don't forget the end goal is that other people will be watching this too, and it's never a bad time to remind yourself to earn the $25 ticket someone paid to see your work in the theater.
Transitions make a huge difference.
It’s incredible how many scenes I would read that just end with no notice, we’re simply not in that scene anymore. Transitions help us know what and how to feel from scene to scene, and they don’t always have to be a big moment or anything, but even just noting a look from a character, a question, or an action, can make a big difference.
Act breaks mean something.
I read a lot of pilots that included act breaks, mostly 5 acts, some only 3. Those act breaks you’re including in the headers aren’t just there as decoration, and they aren’t there as some sort of symbolic formality. In fact, the act break heading isn’t the thing that should define an act break at all, the action within the script should do that on its own. If you removed the act break headers altogether, a reader should still feel them, meaning what’s happening in your story should define an act break, not a page number.
Prove your plot to the reader
If your character is upset with their love life, feeling lonely, etc., and desperately wants a change, they can’t also be turning down dates left and right. If your character is a standup comedian and they’re hoping they’ll win a standup competition, they need to be incredibly funny. If your character is a detective, and they’re the best at what they do, we need to see them do some mighty fine detective work.
Your characters don’t have to be “likeable,” but they do have to be interesting.
Your character can be a good person and do good things, but that’s not necessarily what makes a good character. You can have a character who hates everyone, a complete misanthrope, someone who would rather kick a cat than to save it, but if you make them interesting, you’re on the right track. In AS GOOD AS IT GETS, you’ve got an OCD-laden, misanthropic, bigoted sexist, and he hates dogs. Not very "likeable" at all. But you know what he is? Interesting. He’s an incredibly talented writer, there’s some deep hurt underneath him, and he’s willing to go to extreme lengths just to keep what he considers “normal” in his life.
Don’t blow your best setups on the pilot.
So many pilots this year had the potential for some excellent setups that could be paid off mid-season or later, like a wife meeting with a divorce lawyer but having second thoughts and a husband secretly taking a mortgage out on their house but backing down at the last minute. By the end of the pilot, this information is revealed and dealt with, water under the bridge, and the plot will move on like nothing ever happened. It’s such a waste of a setup that could make for some incredible drama down the line, and may very well be the secret weapon you need to keep your series going. Imagine if Jaimie Lannister had a heart-to-heart with Ned Stark at the end of the GOT pilot about the truth behind his assassination of the Mad King. Sure, that’s interesting stuff, but instead we get an insane amount of character development from Jaimie through 3 seasons until he’s at his lowest before he reveals his feelings to Brianne. Don’t waste a setup like that.
Why now?
Your plot can’t begin simply because the protagonist decided it should, it should be something that happens organically, even better if your protagonist is at odds with it, that way they can choose to become a part of the plot themselves. If you really want to write a series about a young person working in a retirement home, and your pilot is their first day, it shouldn’t be just because they woke up that day and said “you know what? I’m going to work in a retirement home.” There needs to be something that brought them there. Do they have a grandparent who doesn’t remember them, and this is how they get to keep an eye on them? Is this court mandated? Maybe a way to get closer to someone they have a crush on who works there?
You’re overusing “starts to” and “begins” in your action lines.
It’s something that every fresh screenwriter does far too often, and once you see it you can’t unsee it. Go ahead and run a "find" for those words, see how you use them.
Women aren’t primed to cry at the drop of a hat.
Scripts are full of women who cry at every raised voice and every harsh word, and just like violence or nudity or profanity, it loses all of its power when it is used over and over. Women have a range of emotions like everyone else, and I challenge every writer out there to consider alternative reactions when a female character is presented with bad news.
It’s not just your story or your dialogue, your writing is your voice.
What many writers have forgotten is that they have complete control over every word on every page, and those words should be their voice. A screenplay is not just a blueprint for what happens in a movie (some people will disagree, I personally find "this happens, then this happens" to be incredibly boring), but how it happens and how we should feel while reading it.
Don’t fear a good intro.
While this may not work for every genre, a cold open or cold open-adjacent intro can help ease readers into the world of your story while also properly setting the tone early on. Several scripts seem to just… start. People are talking, the A story is immediately initiated within the first action line, multiple characters are all introduced at the same time, and the reader is left to try and figure out the tone on their own, often to realize several pages later that they were wrong and are forced to readjust their expectations.
Introduce characters conservatively.
Often readers are challenged with differentiating a dozen or so characters within the first few pages. Spread this out when you can, and do your best to clue us in on who’ll we’ll have to pay attention to as the story goes on. If your police officer is only involved in a scene or two and otherwise doesn’t have a huge bearing on the story, please, Officer #1 is fine, you’re welcome to name them in the shoot script or when casting time comes around. Knowing their name is “Officer McCleary (46, gruff and with an air of ignorance)” will only add to an ever-growing list of protagonists or supporting players.
For god’s sake, use Courier. Run spell check. Read your script slowly and out loud.
Simple as that. It will save your page count significantly, it’s easier to read, and will not immediately announce to the reader that “this script is not ready.”
Have any notes to add? Comment below!
1 person likes this
This is really good! Thank you!
1 person likes this
sooo detailed—wonderful!
I’m captivated by flash-forward scenes with some action. i fear the attention span of most viewers nowadays wouldn’t get them to episode 2 if the pilot’s too slow burning.
1 person likes this
Don't describe a movie or Pilot. Tell us a story. Avoid camera directions and the like.
Avoid mixing verb tenses in a sentence. "The drunk walks (Present) toward him knocking (Present Participle) into...
Expand commentDon't describe a movie or Pilot. Tell us a story. Avoid camera directions and the like.
Avoid mixing verb tenses in a sentence. "The drunk walks (Present) toward him knocking (Present Participle) into chairs and tables." Keep it present and Active Voice: "He sits" versus the passive "He is sitting."
Learn the proper usage of lie and lay, their, there and they're, brake and break, among many other common miscues.
1 person likes this
even in giving direction to actors, the use of present participle is frowned upon? are you saying “the drunk walks towards him, knocking into chairs and tables” should be broken into two present-tense sentences?
1 person likes this
“The drunk walks towards him, knocking into chairs and tables.”
That’s a fine sentence for a screenplay, told in present tense. “Knocking into chairs and tables” works as a phrase describing how he wal...
Expand comment“The drunk walks towards him, knocking into chairs and tables.”
That’s a fine sentence for a screenplay, told in present tense. “Knocking into chairs and tables” works as a phrase describing how he walks.
If you were to say “He is knocking into chairs and tables” as its own sentence, that would be grammatically correct, but less direct. THAT’s the usage we’re trying to avoid in screenwriting.