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I've had that happen several times. Usually their comment is "I love it, I'd watch it, but it's not the kind of thing I do." Are there any hints towards that in their comments?

Hello @johnbranagan - My suggestion would be to take the win and keep moving forward. There are too many reasons a project might not be picked-up beyond your control: company finances, strict criteria for acquisitions, personal choices, etc. A bench of positive affirmations for your work and pitch is good justification to persevere - the heart and soul of this business. Best of luck in your endeavors.

Hey John - if it's any consolation, I pitched 2 weeks ago, and still haven't heard back hah! The wait is killing me, but it is what it is!

For me, a win is when an executive asks to read my screenplay. Then I know the pitch really worked despite the score and I get feedback on what really counts, the screenplay itself.

So many planets need to align for a studio to take on a project. It almost needs to be no brainer with prior success, all the rights, funding, politics and most importantly, need for a project.

Hi, Alex Olguin! Kevin and Armstrong's personalities come through clearly in the character sheets.

I like the designs, but maybe make Kevin's outfit more unique so it's memorable, and maybe add a logo. Maybe make Armstrong look more unique, like maybe his face or add one extra arm.

What's the themes of the story? I watched the animatic, but I've watched a lot and been busy with things since watching it, so I don't remember the themes.

What's in your pitch package?

Hey Maurice, thanks a lot for the feedback,really appreciate you taking the time.

Kevin’s outfit:

You’re right that it’s simple. Inside the dome, all kids wear standardized clothing, so the base look is intentionally plain.

That said, giving Kevin a small distinctive detail (a patch, a hand-made accessory, etc.) is a great idea, and I’ll explore that to make him stand out while staying true to the world.

Armstrong:

His silhouette is doing most of the uniqueness right now, but I agree the face plate could use a stronger signature element without losing the military vibe. The goal is a “gentle giant,” simple but expressive through body language, so I’ll iterate on that.

Themes:

At its core the film is about repression vs. self-expression, and how a child’s imagination can restart a society that forgot how to feel.

Basically The Iron Giant meets Orwell’s 1984, but from a kid’s emotional point of view.

Pitch package:

Right now I have:

• polished full script

• early character designs (Amrstrong + Kevin)

• a 10-minute animatic + a shorter sequence of 5 minutes

• 2-page pitch document

Planned additions:

• dome/world design

• villain + secondary characters

• more art exploring Kevin & Armstrong’s relationship

• background lore + character profiles

Still a work in progress, but I’m shaping a solid pitch bible step by step.

Your notes genuinely help guide that process, thank you!

You’re welcome, Alex Olguin. Yeah, I think giving Kevin a small distinctive detail (a patch, a hand-made accessory, etc.) would help make him more memorable, and it would help communicate the main theme (“At its core the film is about repression vs. self-expression”).

“how a child’s imagination can restart a society that forgot how to feel.” Maybe make separate concept art for that theme.

I think that’s a great pitch package! Maybe add a poster.

Maurice Vaughan Thank you, really. I’m currently working on a sketch that might work as a sort of pseudo-poster, but I definitely want to explore the concept further, just like you mentioned.

I also want to create more pieces showing Kevin and Armstrong playing or interacting, to highlight the emotional core of the story.

Eventually, probably far down the line, I’d love to hire an artist who can help me compose a truly polished piece that captures the full spirit of the film.

For now, I’m just building step by step, but your feedback helps a lot. Thanks again.

You're welcome, Alex Olguin. You could make a post for an artist on the Job Board down the line (www.stage32.com/find-jobs). I'm looking forward to watching Armstrong-D.U.!

Thanks for sharing. The pitch was a request. Simply waiting to hear back from them.

You're welcome, Ray Fontenault. Congratulations on the request! Hope you get a meeting and financing! And Stage 32 has some Financing resources.

Financing/Crowdfunding Lounge: www.stage32.com/lounge/fundraising

Financing Blogs: www.stage32.com/blog/tags/financing-85

Financing Education: www.stage32.com/education/search?term=Financing

Welcome. Sounds like a great script and what a beautiful way to honor your twin brother.

This is great! If you ever have need for a Wardrobe stylist or designer for your character looks I would love to help out.

Thank you Mone't and Via I'll keep you in mind if things get funded and I have a say in the decisions.

Yeahhhhh :))) Someday, we will be doing gigs :)))

I can't play the guitar, Sandra Isabel Correia, but it's a fictional band, so I can play the guitar. :D

I know :)) Me too :))

Honestly? I'm grateful for all of you. The platform in general. It's so supportive and informative. I just love it.

The lounges are where I'm mostly at. I believe in networking early. And doing that online is so much easier than in person. Not because of the convenience, but because of the pressure. I can't get nervous if I don't know who I'm talking to. I'm using my obliviousness to my advantage while it still exists!

I'm grateful for you too, Elle Bolan. I'm mostly in the Lounges too, and I'm less nervous networking online. Networking early is great advice! I used to write scripts and make pitch material, then network. Now, I network as I write scripts and get pitch material ready.

You're welcome, John January Noble.

Cecile George Yes, it would be categorized as a synopsis too, thanks for the info! I thought that you had to find a manager who could help you develop it further by working with someone else turn it into a screenplay.

Jon Hersh is having a free AMA about "How to Utilize Agents, Managers, and Dev. Execs. In Your Screenwriting Career" all day Friday, Aradia Paquette. You can post questions now. www.stage32.com/lounge/screenwriting/Ask-Me-Anything-AMA-11-21-to-11-22-...

Maurice Vaughan Thank you for your answer by the way! I will make sure to upload a proper profile picture, just wasn't sure how many people have a proper profile, but I see everyone does! And thanks for the all the links, I will check them out

You're welcome, Aradia Paquette. Ok, great. And I'm a Stage 32 Lounge Moderator. If you ever have any questions about Stage 32, let me or another Lounge Moderator know. We have badges on our pictures. Or you could email support@stage32.com.

Hi, Jon. Saludos desde Colombia. I will like to know how to prepare my portfolio of screenplays? And how do I prepare my portfolio of projects in development? Gracias!

Your bio says your firm looks for "bold voices and incendiary material." What do you mean by "incendiary material"?

Yan Ju Zeng If you're looking to star in it, that will make it significantly more difficult when it comes to packaging. Indie films rely on star power to get financing. That said, if you want to star in your own work, go shoot it yourself and put it on YouTube a la BROAD CITY. There is no barrier to entry anymore. Go shoot it low budget or even as a proof of concept.

Tania Cárdenas Paulsen You don't need a "portfolio" necessarily. You really just need at least two scripts that are finished, rewritten, polished, and ready to go.

Banafsheh Esmailzadeh When you read all day long, everything kind of blends together after a while. The same kinds of stories are told over and over. By "incendiary" I mean things that stand out and are memorable and not boring!

I haven't had formal screenwriting education. However, I do break movies down, analyze the writing, the structure, look for the breath moments.

I like to turn off my captions and volume and ad lib dialogue for movies and TV shows.

I've also broken episodes and features down and reoutlined them, reworked dialogue. Downloaded scripts to edit.

It drives my husband crazy.

Yep. It's very hard to switch off and I find myself overly critical now. But I probably appreciate those TV shows and films, which I can tell why their is an underlying genius to them.

Movement in every shot -Kurosawa.

Look for rich backgrounds in great directing. Although I am only a beginning director, I tried in SETESH 2025 (youtube) to make each shot have so many unusual backgrounds in depth that you could watch it 1000 times and never catch every object in each location. The new netflix on President Garfield has wonderful and deep background panoramas so you could see it 1000 times and never catch everything.

Absolutely. Every time I hear bad dialogue, I think, I can do better. And every time I hear great dialogue, I think, I hope I’ll be that good someday.

It only gets worse but you wouldn't change it! A great way to develop your screenwriting is to explore parts of films that give you strong emotional responses, then explore how the filmmaker and screenwriter achieved this. Screenplayed.com has videos that show a rolling script next to the corresponding scene in the final movie so you can see how the scene translated from the page to the screen.

Hi, Salisu Abdullahi. I’m a Stage 32 Lounge Moderator. I wanted to let you know I moved your post from the Introduce Yourself Lounge to the Screenwriting Lounge since it's about screenwriting. You can talk about this in your introduction post, but you need to introduce/reintroduce yourself to the community. You could check out other posts in the Introduce Yourself Lounge to get ideas for your introduction post. Let me know if you have any questions.

Phone Booth is one of my favorite Contained Thrillers. It's a unique Contained Thriller because it's in a phone booth and everyone's watching the protagonist.

"At what point does a limited setting stop serving the story and start feeling repetitive or claustrophobic for the audience?" A Contained Thriller can start feeling repetitive and bore the reader/audience. I like to add exterior shots of the location and add exterior scenes so the story doesn't feel repetitive. I also like to have the protagonist/characters leave the house, building, etc. to go outside sometimes, like at the midpoint of the script.

"What's the smallest space you've successfully used for a full feature-length script, and how did you keep the visual variety and tension high?" I've set a script in a room (can't remember if it was a bedroom or living room). I keep the visual variety high by using objects and giving the monster/antagonist an unique appearance and outfit. I keep the tension high by adding conflict, dilemmas, stakes, a ticking clock, and twists.

Good question. Just watched 'The Long Walk' which translated into 'The Long Watch'. At some point - the walking and talking go to be too much for me. Perhaps aim for 75 pages and find a few side locations to mix it up!

"Hi Stephen,

That is a great point about The Long Watch (or The Long Walk). You nailed it—that feeling of the setting becoming repetitive is exactly what I'm trying to avoid with The Venice Glass House.

I absolutely agree that the solution is to aim for a tighter page count and find those strategic side locations to maintain variety. I'm taking your advice to heart!

I noticed you have fantastic credits, especially on thrillers like October Burn and your production work on A&E and PBS. As a writer/producer with a discerning eye for story and production, I'd love to hear your thoughts on my specific logline for The Venice Glass House—it's a contained thriller that I've designed for the micro-budget space, keeping production logistics in mind.

Would you be open to a quick Direct Message exchange or an email to see if there's any creative synergy between what I'm writing and the kind of high-impact, independent work you produce?"

I know this is a little off-topic, but ep. 5 of All Her Fault, which I saw last night, is an example of how a screenwriter can use the midpoint of a series to really confine the action and concentrate on character dynamics - has anyone seen it? - it's intense! - and the screenwriting (Megan Gallagher?)—in this episode especially—is top class...

Great to meet you, Davide Ludovisi. Congratulations on getting the script request! I can see the story working as a fiction TV series. I'd watch it!

Here's some free TV writing webinars: www.stage32.com/lounge/screenwriting/Stage-32-and-Netflix-Partnered-Up-o...

Stage 32 has a TV written pitch example and a verbal TV pitch beat sheet. You can get them by emailing success@stage32.com.

Stage 32 has a free webinar called "How to Write a 2 Page Pitch for Your Television Series" (www.stage32.com/education/products/free-stage-32-webinar-how-to-write-at...).

Stage 32 also has a free pitch webinar: www.stage32.com/education/products/pitching-tips-from-the-pros-your-blue...

I'm rooting for you to reach your November Write Club goal!

That's awesome! Thanks Maurice

You're welcome, Davide Ludovisi. Stage 32 has feedback services too (www.stage32.com/scriptservices).

And you could post your script on your profile. Producers search profiles for projects. That and networking are how I sold four short scripts to a producer. Click the gear symbol in the top right-hand corner and select “Edit profile” in the drop-down menu. Scroll down to “Loglines” and click “Add/edit loglines” to the right of “Loglines.” You can also post your script on your profile this way: www.stage32.com/loglines (near the top where it says “Add a Logline”)

Decide Ludovisi-That was Ashley Rene Smith's in OPEN HOUSE -response live yesterday, about being attentive here on the platform, interacting, writing. It didn't work out yesterday, maybe today, but tomorrow someone will show up to schedule a meeting and talk about your project. By the way, yesterday's questions and answers were very good. Congratulation

Davide, my mother worked in a nursing home in Laurieton, Australia and a lot of WW2 Veterans used to lend her their war diaries. I woke up one morning and went onto the kitchen, Mum was sitting there crying and then she told me the story of one of these diaries.

The man initially didn't want to share his story, but get really comfortable with my mother as his nurse. When she told me the story all I could think was this is a film script. I think I was only 17 at the time (1998).

I have written down the outline and stuck it in a draw. Reading your post, I might get it out and have a look.

Thank you and good luck with your project.

The idea is excellent and would make a great movie. Your idea is different and touches a topic no one would talk about

Your story does touch on very key issues in the community that often go ignored. Predation on the LGBT Community has always been an easy out for serial killers and other criminals. It’s one of the reasons Dahmer was able to get away with so much. Mix that with the existence of downlow conservative men, and you have an interesting story!

Thank you everyone for the guidance and encouragement. As I am not a very confident person this word means a lot to me. thank you again guys. I will gonna disturb you guys in future.

You're welcome, DJ Gautam. Keep us posted on your script in the Your Stage Lounge (www.stage32.com/lounge/promotion).

Very important subject material that doesn't get talked about enough. I would say write it.