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ST. PETER'S DAY OFF

ST. PETER'S DAY OFF
By Tom Stohlgren

GENRE: Romance, Comedy
LOGLINE:

When St. Peter takes a day off at the Gates of Heaven, a pair of thirty-year-old “Almost-Deads” must do a great job filling in or face an eternity in Hell.

SYNOPSIS:

It’s been medically proven that the brain can function three to five minutes after the heart stops beating, so when wisecracking JIMMY REGAN (30) gets in a serious car accident on Christmas Eve, he has time to sort things out before Christmas day. He winds up in The Green Room (a church basement) with a door to Heaven on the lighted half of the room, and the door to Hell on the dark side. Next to Jimmy, is a beautiful, intelligent nurse, ANA SANTOS (30), also an “Almost-Dead” where they have time to reflect, repent, apologize, say their last good-byes, or fall in love. They are met by MAUI JACKSON (20s) a PA (personal assistant) to St. Peter since 1831, and LUCAS PEREZ (20s), a PA for the Devil since 1591, who work case files for their masters. Maui’s desk has outboxes labeled “Prime Real Estate” and “Hold,” while Lucas’s read, “Fried” or “Extra Crispy.” Everyone Jimmy and Ana meet are figments of their shared imaginations of what the Pearly Gates must be like, and an annoying ticking clock reminds them they won’t be there long.

There is trouble from the start. Jimmy and Ana learn Ana shouldn’t be there. Ana is at Jimmy’s throat, the home movies reflecting on their lives are blurry, and they are destined to miss Christmas. In addition, Jimmy has philosophical issues seeing the door to Hell, which he doesn’t believe in, even after meeting the DEVIL (50s), imagined by Jimmy and Ana (combined) to look like Dolly Parton. Sparks fly and whips crack as Jimmy meets his nemesis. Luckily, two bickering St. Peters enter, one an ARAB (a Tony Shalhoub-type), and one a JEW (a ROB REINER-type); Jimmy’s and Ana’s imaginations didn’t converge on one description. They summoned Jimmy and Ana for one purpose only, to give the themselves a day off to work on their Pickleball skills.

Working case files for the almost-deads is never easy, and eternal decisions prove agonizing for Jimmy. Where should you place the file of a homeless man, a veteran, and their own files? Extra crispy is not an option, and the PAs are no help, feeling they’ve been replaced while their case files have been in the Hold box for centuries! The ticking clock becomes another nemesis giving Jimmy and Ana little time to reflect, repent, apologize, or say last good-byes, but along the way, they begin to fall in love.

In a twist at the end, we find Jimmy has never left the ICU room, where Ana is performing CPR surrounded by the people he imagined in The Green Room as hospital staff. Jimmy regains a heartbeat in the arms of Ana for the greatest Christmas miracle of all.

ST. PETER'S DAY OFF

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Jim Boston

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Nathaniel Baker

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