THE STAGE 32 LOGLINES
Post your loglines. Get and give feedback.
THE TARNISHED HALO OF FATHER BERGONZOLI
By Jenean McBrearty
After the murder of the Bishop of a small diocese in Italy, the new American priest assists with the investigation, soon his life, and his vocation, are in jeopardy.
SYNOPSIS:
The town of Pietas is in turmoil. Two parishes, two classes, are vying for dwindling resources and divided over whether the recently deceased champion of the working class, Father Dominic, was a saint or a huckster. Rumors abound: one of the churches must be closed, the immigrant community is growing and straining resources and patience, and the twenty German monks at Queen of Heaven monastery need a confessor. The solution, according to the Bishop, is to bring in a priest with allegiance to him and let him sort it out. Father Petoir Berganzoli, descendant of General Bergonzoli the 'Electric Beard' and hero of Italian unity and the world wars, and son of Charles Bergonzoli, policeman extraordinaire, is ill-prepared. In Iowa, he dispensed sacraments but decision making and counseling was left to the old-timers.
When the Bishop is murdered, the Bishop's secretary, Father Concetti, calls Petoir who promptly calls Cardinal Patterson in the Vatican. Responsible for Petir's appointment, Patterson puts him in charge, and instructs him to safeguard the records and reputation of the Church. Petoir dutifully confiscates everything, especially the Bishops private correspondence. Whatever his relationship with the Divine, Petoir learns, he had other relationships -- a blackmailing lawyer from Milan, drug dealers, and a young male courrier. He could never have solved the crime without the aid of Commisario Capo Scarletti, but now he's expected to keep the peace as well. What would his dad, Chuck, do? It's a question he keeps asking as he navigates the dangerous world of the fentanyl epidemic.
Register / Log In
Rated this logline
Rated this logline
Rated this logline
It looks like Commisario Capo Scarletti is one of the principal characters; not clear why he isn't in charge of the investigation. Why did the cardinal calls an external priest? Could he easily ask Father Concetti to hide everything before the private life of the killed bishop was investigated?
The conflict needs to be more apparent.
1 person likes this
Hi. One of the sub texts is the tension between the warring factions within the town. Cardinal Patterson believes that a neutral American will be able to make rational decisions -- not unlike small towns who hire City Managers rather than have the city council/Mayor make the tough decisions as the citizen government is comprised of business people and emotions run hot. Also, like many areas all over Europe, the people who have lived in the town for 20 generations are fighting for resources that are directed to immigrants. Jobs are scarce, and the underlying financial problems are exacerbated by competition from the immigrants. (In fact, Bergonzoli does make the hard choices at the end---one basilica and two retired parish churches to be used as community centers. "To end debate, consolidate.") Scarletti is in charge, but, as we saw from the sex abuse scandal, the church closes ranks when there's scandal, and he realizes he's not going to solve the crime without the clergy on his side. Bergonzoli is a well known real-life general who served in the world wars, spent time in an American POW camp, and our hero is a descendant. So, we have cultural/class/economic/ and German monks at the monastery serving as a rat trial house, and, of course the drug problem. As for Concetti, he has a mistress and although a fine secretary, he's a weeny when it comes to a crime like murder. (He leaves the church (the marriage question is yet another headache) and marries the widow Caputo.) Especially in Italy, there is tension between the civilian and the clergy. Presently, the church, being tax exempt, can easily hide nefarious dealings (in this case drugs) and the State would like nothing more than to poke into church finances. (Francis recently ordered all liquid assets of the churches all over the world to divest and send the cash to Rome.) Ripped from the headlines, you might say.
Rated this logline
I'd go see it.
The theme and tone coming up in this story are somewhat oriented toward the European audience and remind me of Bergman and Bunuel. I like this kind of story, and I guess it's about the murder investigation and exploring the dark waters of the church as it progresses further. Kind of like Dan Brown's Inferno and the mystery thriller genre.
Rated this logline
Hi, Nathan. You're right. I've had success in getting my shorts stories etc. published in England, Australia and the Eu. My aesthetic is more in keeping with Deco and Da-da than with Hip-hop and Hillbilly. :) It's not as grandiose as Inferno (Father Bergonzoli is from Des Moines, Iowa). The central problem for the MC is the secularization of religion born more of the necessity of staying relevant than of nefarious intent on the part of atheists. In book II, our hero deals with the media sensationalism v simple faith when he must protect a priest who has the same blood type as that recovered from the Shroud of Turin. Thanks for the input.
Rated this logline