I wanted to follow up on Tammy Hunt 's great post about not learning our lines and using that as an excuse for not giving our all in acting. In my experience, this often happens because we have a lurking belief in the background that we aren’t good enough. Rather than risk ‘failing’ by fully committing—learning our lines well and giving it everything—we hold back. If we don’t get good feedback, we can tell ourselves, Well, I hadn’t really learned my lines anyway.
It’s a strategy to cushion the blow of disappointment. And while it makes sense, it doesn’t actually help us grow as actors. What does help is understanding why we do it. Once we have more awareness, we can make different choices.
Here are three things we can do:
1. Who is the avoider/excuse-maker? How did they develop?
Get to know this part of you—the one that avoids learning lines (or anything else). How old do they feel? Are they a teenager? A child? Don’t overthink it—just go with what comes to mind first. When did this part develop? Was it in secondary school when exams started to feel overwhelming? Or in PE class when you dreaded being picked last? Understanding where this pattern started can give us insight into why it still shows up.
2. How is this avoiding/not-fully-invested part trying to protect you?
This might seem counterintuitive, but every behavior we develop is originally there to protect us—even the ones that don’t seem helpful anymore. If we view them as having a benevolent intention, it changes everything. The ‘not-fully-invested’ part likely developed to shield you from the shame or humiliation of failing. Ouch. No wonder it still tries to step in.
3. Have compassion for that part.
Once you recognize how hard this part has been working to protect you, show it some appreciation. Our inner parts respond to being valued and validated. Let it know that you’re an adult now, not a child or a teenager. You’ve survived plenty of ‘failures’ and are still here. You’re okay. More than that, you’re safe.
You can reinforce this by giving yourself a hug, taking deep breaths, or doing anything that creates a feeling of physical safety. The more this part trusts that you’re okay, the less it will feel the need to hold you back.
So next time you catch yourself avoiding, I invite you to take 10 minutes to check in with that part. Get curious. The more you befriend it, the less power it will have over you.
I’d love to hear how it goes!
1 person likes this
Hi, Aaron Marcus. Hope you had a great weekend. I lost interest in the Oscars a while ago, but I got the interest back this year because of some of the nominated films (like The Substance, Nickel Boys...
Expand commentHi, Aaron Marcus. Hope you had a great weekend. I lost interest in the Oscars a while ago, but I got the interest back this year because of some of the nominated films (like The Substance, Nickel Boys, The Wild Robot, and Alien: Romulus) and Conan O’Brien. I wasn't able to see the Oscars this year since the ABC app didn't have coverage in my area, but I watched some of the highlights. Conan's opening monologue was hilarious.
I see your point. How do you compare movies and performances, especially when they're so different?