This is an unsolicited review of my script consultation with Eben Davidson on my script “Wine and Die” on 06/05/2024.
I was pleased beyond mention that Eben called me on time, had carefully reviewed my entire script, and was frank, open, and friendly in providing me with much-needed advice on improving the script.
It helped that Eben is an extremely knowledgeable professional, well-connected in Hollywood, AND, best of all, a nice man.
He immediately zeroed in on important elements of the script: it is a sequel to a produced and distributed film, with the same cast, and low-budget project. Actually, Eben made me laugh when he called it a micro-budget film at well under $2 million (our estimated budget was around $600K).
Eben dissected the script as only an expert could. He identified an immediate, but easily correctable “fatal flaw.” I didn’t “sell” the death of a main character in the first scene well enough to convince him the man was truly dead.
The solution: have characters witness the death more vividly, and add a charred body in the RV that explodes. The Director will help you!
Brilliant. That alone was worth the price of admission.
Next, he suggested I change the way the Sheriff is introduced to demonstrate his “reluctance” to get involved with another murder at the same winery.
This was another easy but important edit to make.
He liked my writing style, but like all screenwriters, he suggested I review the “Scriptnotes” videos “How to write a movie” (YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vSX-DROZuzY). He said I know 90% of the tips in the video, but everyone he knows benefits from the review of writing tips. I’ll do that this weekend.
Over and above a typical script review, Eben gave me highly person tips on how I should “shop” the script. I won’t go into detail here, but he gave three solid tips.
We talked about the simple but important hook of the script. He suggested “Sideways” meets “Knive Out” to bring in the single vineyard location and small cast of the murder-mystery script.
Brilliant!
In short, I loved the generous time Mr. Eben Davidson spent with me. I would highly recommend him a script consultation with Eben and I’ll be signing up again.
Eben, if you’re reading this, thanks a ton! I learned a lot!
