Hi, I've uploaded a few loglines to my profile page and was wondering if anyone would be so kind as to offer some feedback/criticism/advice on them? It would be much appreciated and I would be forever in your debt. Cheers, Elliott
Screenwriting : Logline Opinions by Elliott Maguire
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I think the night shift worker is a brilliant idea. (First logline example.). Budget wise it could be a one location film, with him slowly going crazy watching all the CCTV footage coming in. A tense and claustrophobic feel, I wouldn't change the wording. The logline Bad Place, also struck an immediate chord in me. I feel the desolation of the two women, coupled with the anxiety and dread of the mother, and their immediate danger. Loners and outsiders, against all odds, I wouldn't change the wording in that log line either. Your imaginative ideas are great, I haven't got time now to go into all your examples, but will come back to this thread at a later date.
That's great thanks for your feedback Debbie. I'm just trying to work out which of my ideas are worth pursuing any further than the logline, and which are duds, so your thoughts really help. Much appreciated!
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I just read through them, Elliott, and commented under each. I'm definitely no expert, but I hope at least some of my suggestions are helpful!
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Shari, thanks so much, your feedback is very useful, I think my main issue so far is being too vague and wanting to conceal any twists in the concepts. I find it hard to separate what would be appropriate for an audience (not giving the twists away, but they have a poster, trailer etc to whet the appetite) and potential producer (who will want to know what they are buying/optioning). Something to work on.
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Exactly! But those are easy tweaks. The important thing is you have lots of good ideas!
Okay I've made some adjustments on a few of them, feel a little clearer.