Many writers fail to set the tone/mood for their story within the first couple of pages. Instead, they bore me with “on the nose chit-chat” - two people talking – often than not about nothing, or even worse, just some boring domestic bantering, “Have you seen my tie? Where is it? You know I have this urgent meeting today...” Blah-blah-blah. By the end of page one, I'm done. Your job is not try and have the words on the page, you need to create ATMOSPHERE – to immediately set the tone/mood for your story. Set the “stage” - intrigue me, scare me, amuse me, shock me, grab me on page one and pull me into story with an irresistible ATMOSPHERE. Surely, when you invite your lover for dinner, you make damn sure you create enough atmosphere - to seduce. Seduce me-- to the extend that I can't resist you---
Screenwriting : Setting the mood/tone for your script by Catalina Lowe
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On page one would a scene of people yelling and screaming. Police pulling up in riot gear. News vans pulling up set the tone or mood?
Wow as a script consultant, I would think you'd be vested in what you are reading and work to provide those paying for your service with valid feedback, as opposed to finding it "boring". That does not seem helpful.
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I agree I watch lots of short Indie films for my show and I see lots of that.
Steven, thanks for your question. Your scenario of "people yelling and screaming. Police pulling up in riot gear. News vans pulling up---" would be "action playing out on the stage" adding to/enhancing the mood/atmosphere. Not necessarily setting the mood/tone. You have to give me MORE--- BTW, I see you have a family history of being on the stage. That's a very good start. Now, your own production company. The way to go! Congratulations on your screenplay, "Hope Saves Manhattan" - ready to go into production. WELL DONE! I'd love to read the script - for the joy and the fun of it. Keep writing!
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If ever start one of my screenplays with "Where's my tie?" you can best believe that next thing that happens is that said guy delivering the line will be choked to death with said tie!!!
Sue, thanks for the question. Yes, I can give examples, but instead I want you to think about your opening scene - any one of your scenes - and then use all your senses (even the sixth sense) to create mood/atmosphere and set your stage, so to speak. Always remember, film is a visual medium - you have to SHOW with (few) or without any words. Your audience has to be there with you - in the (sensual) experience of the mood/atmosphere. Hope this helps, without too many words!
Of course, you do, Sue! Close your eyes and stop all the "noise." This is one of the challenges facing you as a novelist and playwright. And if you feel really stuck, send me the first 5 pages to "experience" and then we'll "talk." Good luck!
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Sue, If you do I want to read at least the first ten pages. What Catalina means is that most writers start the scene much too early with irrelevant information that doesn't move the story forward, or they let the characters drone on and on trying to establish their character's "voice" without actually providing any insight or emotional content. It's like reading a college thesis out loud, very monotone. The first ten pages should alway grab your reader. They should give a feel for when and where the characters are. They should introduce the character and their motivation for whatever they are doing. They should invoke interest in the audience to make them want to see what is to follow. -Stepping off the soapbox- Sorry got carried away.
Well said, Anthony! I salute you! Just need to 'color' it in a bit more with the finer brushstrokes to "perfect" the picture. Good night all - keep writing! Until next time.
I once told someone that if one of my screenplays ever started with "Have you seen my tie?" you can best believe that the next line will be "Lost tie slips around speakers throat. ASSAILANT uses it as a gorrate to choke the speaker."
what if the firs paragraph says
" It was a dark and stormy night..." ?
I'm affraid this immediacy is dangerous too.
How are we to feel IF the written thing will be alive next page ?
I suppose there must be some special detail that make our
intuiton engage with the story... for instance, 'counterpart'
series had this effect on me (even on the trailer) where
the leitmotif of series is revealed...