Screenwriting : When to say when on Description by Jason Rogers

Don't try to describe everything. Just paint a broad picture using broad strokes and let the reader's imagination fill in the rest.

Depends. It it's a spec, listen to Dan G. If you're already trusted and produced, write whatever the hell you want. That's the way it works.

The more white on the page the better - that is the rule. After every 3 -4 lines of action you Must do a double space. If you could add in dialogue that would be better that way we can see action and dialogue. A page of full action says armature writer, even if you are not.

Wait. What? No. No, it (a full page of action) does not universally say "amateur." Clearly. Some of the top scripts have pages of great, well-written action -- see the 2018 Oscar contenders. So truly, it depends. It depends on the specific context of a specific screenplay of which we don't have much here. Plus writers have different personal styles of writing. Jason, Dan G's insightful, general advice is relevant to all writers no matter who you are, professional or not, whether writing a spec script or not. It's learning to write tersely and effectively. Perhaps those 4-5 action paragraphs are overwritten? Perhaps you can convey the same information to your reader but be more succinct in your craft of doing so. Sure, in general, you want to create an easy read—"lots of white space." But there is no exact, perfect number of paragraph blocks per scene or per page or per whatever. There is no one way. What stands out is good, effective writing. ;)

The rule about writing action sequences is that you don't tell the director what to do. Just paint a broad picture and let the director full in the details.

Hi Jason ... How did you get your aliens to speak English so we could understand them?

Rules again? Would youse guys just forget rules! Maximum readability is achieved by writing tight. Generally speaking, action text blocks of three (maybe four) lines is the more effective way to write a script for the maximum readability (and you do want your script read?). Screenwriters talk about page count whereas novelists talk in word count. A novel can easily contain 250K or way more words but a really well written 100 page script must show its story in less than 20K words - actually about 194/5 words per page. During the setup in Act I, you may find that being a bit more verbose is necessary but as the story unfolds, the action text may shrink to a single line or even a single word. Those scripts that include way too much exposition go directly to the wastebasket. Period!

I know, Doug, right? No "rules," just writing tools and craft. ;)))

The story rules.

If you have a really, really, bad sore throat and have to say something with as little words as possible to describe something, that's how you would write it down. That's how I was told to describe action. Condense.

Thank you all for your responses, it really helps. @Claude Gagne yes it starts off with them speaking there language and then we hear it in English. but of course i have translator tech in the story. I feel i could trim it down a bit. But i just don't want to boar anyone reading it. it is a very original idea and sometimes that can shoot you in the foot. so i try and be as descriptive as possible. And @Jared Aisen I am the director. this one i need to direct no one could have the same odd vision I do. But It could be huge if I can get it off the ground.

Beth I appreciate you.

Thank you Marjolein. I will keep it as is and maybe make a lighter version.

just read 1000 produced scripts similar to your concept. that will unconsciously improve your screenplay writing.

Rachel, most of these so-labeled "rules" come from readers and/or gurus or teachers or from within amateur writing circles. They read thousands and thousands of screenplays and see a bunch of new writers doing similar things, making similar mistakes or making similar poor choices that are annoying or would be considered "bad writing." So they give a list of quick tips or "rules," which are really good things to consider, good ideas, common practices, guidelines, know-how working experience, etc. However, it's much easier to just reductively tell people not to do something than to explain or talk about how to use a tool effectively, which as we all know, takes a lot of time and hard work to learn how to do so. These "rules" are designed to stop people from making the same ol' mistakes. The problem this rule-making and rule-following have created: There's this weird, triangular non-relationship logic that people apply to these "rules" in screenwriting. They blame the writing tool or practice itself and not bad writing. They conflate the two. Bad writers do these things, therefore, the thing itself must be bad. And thus, if a screenplay has this bad thing in it then it too must be written badly. When clearly, that's not the case because the reverse is not true. A good screenplay may break some "rule" or use or do something considered to be "bad" and yet be effective, good writing. Plus you can follow all "the rules," tick every box and still end up with a bad screenplay. Many then place blame upon the notion that whoever wrote that good screenplay must have creative license to break "the rules" because they are professional, they have been produced or they are "in Hollywood" and thus they are not held to any rules. Huh? Sure, those folks may have more connections, a track record, and access, etc, etc, etc. But, frankly, those people are just damn good writers and are very good at their job. They know screenwriting. It's the intangible quality that stands out, not orthodoxy. Good writing versus bad writing. So, learn how to use writing tools and craft effectively. ;) Happy writing!

It's true that story is the king but beyond that is the Producer's desire to earn a buck or two so that he can put shoes on the baby and have enough left over to do it again. When wading through a bushel basket of spec scripts over a weekend it paramount to get through them quickly. Any little speed bump along the way tends to derail the reading - but Hey, no worry there's another dozen left in the basket.

Here is my philosophy when it comes to descriptions. Describe only the relevant information and only what you can see on screen. Briefly describe the action as it is happening in the present tense. Try to keep descriptions under 3 lines and 4 at the maximum. Don’t describe every single detail in the scene. Paint your scene with broad strokes and let the Reader’s imagination fill in the rest. Avoid describing a character’s every movement. Extraneous character movement is distracting. Do not write thoughts or anything intangible such as emotions. You should only write the physical manifestation of their emotions. Keep a single event, shot or sequence within one description. Have the sentences that compose your description all related to one another then if the action changes you should start a new paragraph.

I an new so I am afraid that if I send it in and they read the first few pages that they will put it down because its not light read. Would any of you like to red the first page? Beth I love your explanations, they are on point. I read the GI Joe first draft and it sucked worse than the movie. but it was a well put together script. I have a solid story.

Best sci-fi writer advice - Forget the details!!!

You have envisioned this marvelous unique world, with all this window dressing and toppings on how things work.

- Wrong answer.-

The REALITY is three fold. 1) Nobody wants an overly written script with a bunch of details that have NOTHING to do with the story. 2) The details of the world only work in your head and no matter how much you describe it, no one but YOU will understand. 3) Once a script leaves your hands, it's up to the director and special effects guys to GET IT and make it look real. Their visions may be wholly different than what you envisioned. So spending pages and page on description are a waste of time.

1) Keep it light. "A super mega ultra techno station in orbit around Terra 3 with environments for hundreds of spaceships of all make and design under the banner of one united government" may sound cool but the director will see "space station", and the SE dept, will fill in the details undera budget.

2) Stay focused on the important details. A blaster, is a blaster, is a blaster. No matter how it looks or functions the IMPORTANT detail is that it is a gun. Unless the gun shoots bullets that heal a dying main character, nobody cares what type it is.

3) Less is more. If an item HAS to have a certain look, color, size or weight, there better be a very important reason for it. Again, a general description of an alien is fine but the more detail more details that will be ignored.

(I've a few contests under my belt, so I know what Im talking about.)

Good Luck.

OK I posted the first page on my page so you all can see what I mean. Anthony Moore I see what you mean and Beth too. I suppose a happy medium would be to most places be sparring but where i need to explain tech that is not normal I might need to be more descriptive.

Hey Jason, If you want some insightful feedback, enter a couple of contests. Bluecat will give you a review for the cost of entry. When I first started, I found it very helpful. Glad to help out a fellow Columbia alumni.

Hey, Jason, I didn't see a script page posted? Only a synopsis? Maybe I missed it... Lol!

I didn't see it either.

Sorry i had to make another log line to put it on. it's there now.

There are so many issues, it's difficult to address here. Buy (steal) a copy of the Screenwriter's Bible - and READ it. Take a beginning level screenwriting course - you likely have some Community College nearby. I really can't tell for sure but you may have a viable story concept - all you need to do is learn how to format it.

Hey, Jason, I left a comment for you on your profile logline/script post. Hope it helps. ;)