Your Stage : WHat do you think about my logline? by Bager Kaya

Hi, Bager. Sorry, as written it doesn't make much sense?

It seems there is some sort of irony here?—someone seeking immortality but ends up facing death.

Generally speaking, in a logline try to focus on the main narrative throughline and try to keep it to one sentence.

Plus consider logic: "in an age that immortality is only a God's right" seems too obvious and odd because of the generally known notion that gods no matter what age have immortality. So I would omit that bit from the logline and focus on the action, the plot of the story.

Other than that... I really cannot add much more because I do not have any further context nor am I familiar with your story.

Nonetheless, here's a great resource that may be helpful to you. It's Christopher Lockhart's paper on how to construct a logline: http://www.twoadverbs.com/logline.pdf.

Happy writing and best to you! :)

You're welcome. :) But... the link is not dead? It is active (in red) and works just fine... not sure what you are seeing on your end. Perhaps Google it for yourself: Christopher Lockhart Logline. Best to you!

Thanks for your sharing.

That's not an irony. Actually, This story is a Babylonian myth. I converted it to script and I added some new characters and the main idea.

Yes, it's sound familiar without know to the script. I try to find to the clear logline. Every mythological story resembles each other. The thing that makes difference is how you will direct it. I think. Most people know something about Nordisk mythology or Greek mythology but Mesopotamia mythology is not like that.