Hey Everyone,
I've got a draft of a feature I just finished, and would love to trade notes with someone for one of their projects. The feature is called "The Infinite Blue", and I have the logline and synopsis on my page if you're interested in reading those before you reach out!
p.s. not looking for detailed analysis, just some notes on structure, characterization, dialogue!
Hi, Jess. I'd like to hear your logline! Feel free to inmail me. Ps. Apologies for no photo yet.
I like the logline. Well done. What would of thing would you be interested in reading? It’s hard to comment on things you can’t connect with.
Here's the logline: After her mother poisons their only water source in a fit of paranoia, Cleo must trek through an indigenous reservation to reach a lake that her mother believes will save them.
Hal Croasmun occasionally has a free course on Rewriting. [Search on: croasmun rewriting pyarmid for more on his method] Hal stresses NOT doing a "Page One," but examining the project from the foundation upward, i.e., starting with Story, then working your way up a pyramid that has Dialog and Text towards the top. There's little point in revising dialog if there's a problem with the underlying material that, when fixed, will wipe out 20% or more of the dialog.
Theme and Logline are part of the Story base of the pyramid. I'm wondering what reason Cleo (or the viewer) has to believe that her mentally unstable mother is a good source of advice on how to save them. Easily fixed.
Good luck with the project, Jess!