Hey all! Looking for answers and advice.
I left Los Angeles after disagreeing with the course of politics in 2013, finding myself in Dallas, TX. While there I completed my 2nd screenplay ever "LUG" a Southern Gothic Thriller. Austin FF was around the corner, so I submitted it and was invited to the festival as a 2nd Round Competitor. I didn't make it too far and couldn't find anyone who would listen to a pitch, so I returned to my other endeavors including my reality TV project "A Week With My Father".
The next few years saw financial and personal turmoil like I couldn't describe. I ended up going bankrupt and having to move home to Columbia, SC to stay with family. As if anything could be worse, my beloved pet cat of 18 years died of a stroke, leaving me alone and financially ruined.
Since then - 2 years exactly - I've recovered and moved into my own place again. I recently scraped up the money for script coverage for "LUG" and really didn't get the feedback I was hoping for. The reviewer recommended that I take "classes" which I found offensive - I've been writing since 1990, including several screen and TV writing classes in pursuit of my degree. But perhaps I've missed something and he wasn't too far off?
So I'm wondering if there is a "Dov S-S Simens" style of class out there, where I can sharpen up my skills and maybe see if my structure is off the mark? I don't want to spend the rest of the year working on something that's functionally complete - I estimate that I'll only need 30-45 days to fix what's wrong. I'd also rather not pay $1000 to some overhyped joker, when Kirsten Wiig learned how to write from a book!
Sorry for the long winded post! Any advice you can come up with is a plus. Thanks!
G-Man
I think reading produced scripts is a better (and free) way to check your structure. I agree that the reviewer suggesting you take classes is offensive; you were right to be offended.
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Thanks for the support Joshua. I mean, my formatting was perfect, slug lines, locations, etc., so he had to have some idea that I knew what I was doing. It's one of the things that bothers me about paying for coverage - am I going to get an industry professional or some paid hack? I may try reading others within my genre too. Thanks again
It's a toss up, for sure. At the end of it all, what each reader thinks about your project is subjective. It probably doesn't need any more work. It just needs the right eyes to say, yes, here's a check.
I'd use the $1000 and attend Austin Film Festival in Oct/Nov (if it is not cancelled).
As for feedback - unless you believe this person is 100% grifter - use it or don't use it. Doesn't make a difference if nobody (Employers, filmmakers,Reps, peers) knows you/wants to read. Embrace failure. Everybody fails.
Do you have an idea of where your script's main problems lie? structure? character? plot logic? scene execution?
Hey Mike, even I had to admit that the main problem (specifically) is why my protagonist couldn't just leave town. I didn't have a strong enough reason what kept him there, but I did work that out.
The reader that I hired - thank G-d it was only $150 - gave me a two page write up on the flaws. I'll have to go back and read it, but what he failed to do was show me any problems with the Arc.
I had a pitch go south because the exec asked why my main character made their critical decision to go on this journey I'd given them. The answer was obvious but I blanked on it because it's not (in my mind) the main point of the film. I'd written it in but just forgot because it's not interesting to me so I started talking up the other traits of the character and how they change over the course of the script. Which just tanked the pitch even more. They wanted the simple nuts and bolts to check the logic.
What I should have pointed out is actually what I wrote. That the character is broke and needed the money that was going to be paid to them. Simple and not very interesting in my mind. But critical from a story perspective to a trained reader. This may seem like a tired and cliched motivation but consider this...
It's the same reason Han Solo takes Luke to Alderan. He says it himself to Leia, "I ain't in this for your revolution, I'm in it for the money". Every character needs a motivating factor and it's the number one thing "Readers" tend to focus on. Because without that main motivation, the audience doesn't get the "angle" of the character and they seem lost and spineless. They also need logical obstacles to overcome and it sounds like maybe that's what you had forgotten to add.
G-Man, there's some great classes here on S32; not the most inexpensive (but less than 1K), but solid, experienced teachers. masterclass.com also has great teachers, and good prices.
But also like Joshua Keller Katz said - read scripts. Esp. read scripts while watching the movie to see how the words translate into the film for character, pacing, plot, etc.
Character choice/motivation was just mentioned somewhere else about pitching. Producers will often ask: Why this character? What's their motivation? What keeps them from just walking away? The character motivation has to be resolved before writing. Writers often come up with a story and then a character after. But they never sit down and examine if it's the right character.
Breaking into Act II, a character makes a choice to pursue something instead of just being a bystander. When the character, that specific character, decides to get involved, it should be so obvious why they are involved that no one will question it.
Yes, sometimes the boat flips upside down and the character is just thrown into the chaos, but some characters will sit and wait to be rescued while others will fight to survive. Why is your particular character ready and willing to fight his/her way back to safety? If it's not obvious in the story, people will question it.
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Hi G-Man,
Sorry to hear you've had a pretty tough time, but really glad to read you are back on your feet.
In relation to your script, my first question is, do you have a logline (if so, can you share it?) and the second is, was this written with a goal in mind? A writing sample, something to submit to competitions or was in written with a market in mind?
Pitches are a skill that need to be learned and practiced.
'A goal without a plan is just a dream' - in my mind,, a script without an outline, is just an idea. I don't know what your process is, but IMO it's logline, outline (with some character development) put scenes on a board and then write.
From the feedback you've received, there seems to be 2 key things, problem identification and then addressing the problem.
Start at the macro level (with the script purpose in mind) - is the core idea dramatic? Is it marketable? This is what a logline is useful for.
After that, there's a whole checklist of things you can review in your outline - Character arcs, conflict, goals, stakes, story structure etc etc.
I think sharing your work for peer feedback or exploring services on Stage 32 are options.
Kind Regards,
Eoin
Hey Giacomo Knox Great to have you here man! You are in the right place for sure! Not only do we have excellent classes on Stage 32 for screenwriting - which are very affordable and packed full of information - we also have Script Services in which an executive will read your script and speak with you one-on-one about your script.
There is no better learning tool in my opinion than speaking with a producer or development executive who can speak with you directly to offer thoughts and constructive suggestions. You are also able to ask questions of them as well. If you would like help choosing a webinar or an executive to speak with, feel free to hit me up here: j.mirch@stage32.com