Screenwriting : Conflicting Tone: A Pass Or Go? by Hanna Strauss

I personally did not see any conflicting tone. I could see the story fitting comfortably in a PG-13. Those parts that would be considered 'adult' were not overtly graphic in terms of content. Someone dies as a result of an incident caused by an act of anger, but the death is never shown. No graphic sex scenes. It is implied. There is a scene regarding Cannabis use and interactions with members of a cartel in Mexico, There is some firearm use, but no one is shot and killed. No blood. There is a kidnapping and forced labor.in that scene but it is tempered with humor. Other than bee stings, no character loses their life.

I have two thoughts. Who is the notes from. If they are from producers or people that you believe would be the audience of the work, I would give it some weight. If its from others that proclaim to be experts, you must temper also take that into consideration.

Secondly, if everyone tells you, you are drunk, you should sit down. If everyone is bumping against the same thing, it probably exists. It may not be caused by what they identify, But it probably exists. The audience is rarely wrong.

Based on say the scene you mentioned with a kidnapping and forced labor tempered with humor.Maybe what they're trying to say is you haven't got the balance between the dramatic and humorous right in their opinion?

To both Craig's: One was from notes from a director/screenwriter I worked with. The other is from an unknown reader on Blacklist. The other 3 reviewers 2 on Blacklist and another professional I worked with ( not a writer) did not even mention it as an issue.

Ooo, we just had a Breakdown Webcast in the Writer's Room about Tone! It may be worth taking a look at, Hanna!

Karen: would you have a link to it? Thanks

I literally had that same thought, Kay! Hanna, I second Kay... The breakdown webcast on tone last night was A-MAZING! Check it out. I think it’ll be super-helpful!

I don't pay for information when I can find it for free. I will share this with others. He is quite clear: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nNnfQNW9UXE

My first feature script Limb (you can see it here) is a mess....I has good grip on the format but the story is all over the place...common "mistake" inexperienced writers do which does not mean to be a bad thing, but drains the script of commerciality hence making it undesirable for mainstream producers...try focusing on something plain&simple whatever the genre might be, straight arrow stories although some see as too clichéd usually are good start point for newcomers, many examples around...

Be careful to avoid conflicting tones, but if they happen intentionally to jar the audience through the experience of the protagonist, or gradually, they are likely to be a good change of pace for the viewer.

I appreciate all the useful suggestions. My "Joe Plant" storyline could be classified as a Sci Fi/Dramedy. There is a pivotal scene at the end where it takes a dark turn and the mood definitely changes in it. Some levity continues afterward. If you would like to read it, it is available as a PDF in a link on my Profile situated below the Synopsis .

A recurring note, as Craig Griffiths mentioned, is something that should be seriously considered, even if you don't agree with it.

Here is my two cents from my time teaching: TONE starts with LIGHT or DARK because it's based on LIGHT (but it's expressed as either comedy or tragedy). This ultimately is just a HINT at the ending, whether it is the ending of the scene or the ending of the film. This is the video I used to use with my students: https://youtu.be/Tkbto1oLAnE

And here's the quick reason that this is just the first in many decisions you make in TONE as a writer - when you watch something like the trailer for The Shining (the original, which is a psychological thriller/horror, i.e. tragedy, i.e. DARK), you can change the TONE by focusing on the lines, the shots, the sounds, and the assembly of each (editing/structure) that HINT at the possibility that it's actually a RomCom (or that it will turn out well, i.e. comedy, i.e. LIGHT).

Tone - one more thing audiences don't care about.

If you're writing something for younger audiences it is good to include material that will entertain adults as well, but if there is a huge tonal shift into only content adults will find entertaining they won't want to take their kids to see it. In family content the key is to keep an even hand on the kids/adult audience entertainment.

Hi Hanna...

It's hard to help without having read the script... but in general: When in doubt, I study.

Find successful movies that have that kind duality tone and: A) see how they pulled it off B) use them as a pitching-marketing tool to prep people to your film C) see the audience target they hit and why.

I don't know if you have an animation movie but I feel you find the dual tonality more in animation so here goes: I'm thinking of movies like Funan (written by me dear friend - a hard to talk about subject (genocide) made in animation), Arlo (available on Netflix - cute and funny, yet they talk about abandonment, rejection etc)... If I think of anymore, I'll shoot them to you.

The line is very fine between kid and adult content and you just need to tweek it a little to make it pass in the other category. If you can, ask if they can provide a specific exemple then you'll have a better idea of what creates a "?" and find a solution to it.

Best of luck to you, ps. I love how you see importance in the notes you received. You'll find a solution!

great screenwriting begins with the first sentence, establishes everything from world building, tone, genre. Study peers, living or dead. Especially in the techy PDF era where writers got less than 2-3 pages to grab reader's attention.

Example: "Bad Moms". The first paragraph tells readers, "these writers know how to write comedy. It's going to be a fun read." The tone/voice of the Bad Moms writers are consistent from page 1 to end.