Screenwriting : Response to my first script by Daniel Smith

Daniel Smith

Response to my first script

For me I think it's not bad for my first try. I've learned a lot about my strengths and weaknesses. A big mistake I made was it being too expensive for a first timer. I got a lot of praise for originality and creative action. My dialogue and structure needs work. Hope you guys find this useful in some way.

Sandra Reinartz

Great first try. Now it's rewrite time :)

CJ Walley

Yeah, readers should never be commenting on budget. Not only is it completely irrelevant to a spec script's prospects, very few are qualified to talk about it.

Mo Yusuf

Don't worry about the budget. Just write the story you want to write. Shane Black wrote and sold Lethal Weapon at age 22. Work on the other feedback but if you want it big scale, keep it that way. Good luck.

Daniel Smith

Thanks for the comments! I really appreciate the support. I'll do a good rewrite and work on other things.

Doug Nelson

Budget is the Producers worry - not the writer's. Although keep in mind when writing that the lower budget films have a wider marketability base. You've been given a 'pass' based on an overall rating of 6, not a bad start first time outta the gate. Typically you need an 8 to be given a 'consider' and 9+ to get a 'recommend'. It's hard but don't give up.

Christopher Phillips

Good job. For your first script, I agree with Mo and Doug, let it all hang out. Later, you worry about budget.

Daniel Smith

Thanks Doug and Chris. That's really great information I'll keep in mind.

Dan Davis

Hey Dan, well done! That's good for a first score (can't remember what mine was) and now it's only going to go up. As Doug said those are 'roughly' the ranges you need. I got a 9.1/10 and it was still consider! It wasn't until I got 9.6/10 that I got the recommend.

You improve and lean with every rewrite. Keep at it, and let us know how you get on.

Erik Meyers

Very cool!

Daniel Smith

Thanks guys! A 9 is huge score, I hope I can hit a 9 one day but it's gonna take time. Well done Dan!

Phillip E. Hardy, "The Real Deal"

Nice job! One time a reviewer gave me a six but there was a minus symbol in the front.

WL Wright

I had a "great" rating on "formatting" on a script and the reality was the formatting was total S&%#. Good thing I didn't just trust that rating and yes I did fix the script. Ba ha ha

Daniel Smith

Thanks Barry and Phil! WL Wright I had the same experience. My format was awful and I got 10 on a different coverage. Baffling!

Craig D Griffiths

Daniel I am happy for you. Many first attempts are completely unreadable.

Now I say this with all sincerity. You are a better writer than the person reading your work. True, I don’t know who they are. But if they were a writer, they would be writing. Instead they read. Which isn’t writing. Why am I making that point? Some people get stuck on the idea of pleasing readers. They talk about the ten rewrites they did to get from a 7 to 8 from some reading service.

Strive to improve on what you have written (I’ll do that till I die). Don’t try to get a perfect score. Because all that teaches you is how to get a perfect score. Strive to give us the best “Daniel” possible. Motivation is hard to get in the early days. Getting people to read your work is even harder. I am so happy to find people that get joy from writing.

I firmly believe that the word “Analysis” and art cannot in my opinion exist in the same world. I say this as an Analyst that write.

Daniel Smith

That's very profound Craig. You're absolutely right. There is no perfect formula. It's more about self study really. Working out my own weaknesses, finding my own style and voice. What a great comment! Thanks for the insight.

Daniel Smith

Zorrawa I don't think anyone has the right to be too harsh. One of my favourite tips is " There's no such thing as a bad script just an ineffective one".

Jeffrey Milne

I think its a great start.

Louisa Kendrick Burton

Keep learning, keep going, keep growing

Doug Nelson

Zorrawa - when you do become a top-o-the-line, in demand, A-list writer; you'll still be getting harsh commentary from the peanut galley. It's just the nature of the profession. Toughen up tour hide & just get over it..

Evelyne Gauthier

Nice! Did you get that from Stage 32 Coverage Services?

Dan Davis

@Evelyne Gauthier This looks like it is from Screencraft which can be accessed via Coverfly. (Not advertising it Stage32! Just answering :))

Evelyne Gauthier

I tought so. I was just curious. :)

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