As many of you know, I live in the world of shorts. I have three in pre production for a next spring slate but I need to keep writing. I look for controversial topics that I can really bore into in a <20 page format. One idea that I came up with this afternoon goes like this - A young Hispanic American man is employed as a Border Patrol Agent, sworn to protect the boarder at all costs. His mother, on her deathbed reveals to him that he is American by birth because she was a pregnant illegal alien that entered the US 24 years ago so that he would be born American. (this is not a logline - it's just a basic concept)
I'm only asking your opinion: Is it strong enough to make a worthy character driven short?
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I find it an intriguing idea, Doug (though I'm not into shorts, so what do I know). What if the mother tells him instead that his birth certificate's a fake and he's an illegal alien too?
It's a material to explore, Doug... IMO wouldn't squeeze that within 20 mins...
I think it would be strong enough if in the script you include what the main character does after he finds out he's an American.
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Interesting. I think it would be a bit more edgy if the character was being recruited into I.C.E.
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why are you writing this idea, what are you really trying to say?
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Did the revelation make the character conflicted enough not to do his job as BPA? Did he see those illegal pregnant women as his own mother trying to give their children a better life? That's a lot of internal conflict so, yeah, it's strong enough.
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Yes!
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Anthony, an interesting twist. Dan, I'm not all that sure myself, but I hope to learn something along the way. Xaviera, Yeah it lots of 'internal' conflict that I need to put into action; if I'm good enough as a writer. Colette; that's one of the strengths of writing shorts. I can really bore down on a highly controversial topic that often leaves the audience with a rather uncomfortable moral issue via an ambiguous ending that leaves the viewer with a choice to make. I can't get away with that in a FL film. David, thanx for the 'thumbs-up' - If I write it, I'll give my all.
Sounds good - feels a bit "A Day Without A Mexican"
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The wall has been continually in news so a hot topic. I like it, core beliefs of characters have them act the way they do but a revealing twist may cause him to question his own very existence. Like others say above, "the course of action" he takes will add layers. Even something dark, unexpected out of anger cos he resents his mother's secret so much. Also inner change. EG He may be a staunch Trump fan but now campaigns for the opposition. I like your seed "uncomfortable moral issue" can be cool in some cases if viewer can't choose a side and end up questioning their own prior beliefs.
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I'm thinking to open with optimistic up-action and close with a open ending; thus making a very strong character profile that the audience can relate to... I'm workin on it.
Cherelynn - I didn't recall 'A day Without A Mexican'; so I watched it today. I loved it for sure. It's right up my alley (comedic/spoof) but I'm gonna try to color within the lines on this one - that's very hard for me to do.
I think I would go for this:
1) Establish a character and their goal. This would be a maguffin.
2) Threaten something dear to that person.
3) See the other side of the enemy. Usually as a representation of the hidden feelings of the main character. Go for pity.
4) Have them help the bad person.
5) Have a surprise reward.
Mother comes home. There is a stranger in the house and escaped convict. He is wounded. He says her daughter is in danger if mum doesn’t help.
She helps. She can see herself in him. (this is a bad guy doing good. It is a good person relating to a bad person as a proxy for the audience).
He escapes, even though she doesn’t know if her daughter is safe.
Daughter comes home. Her reward (just visiting friends).
That could be done in a house without much problem. Tension from neighbours visiting etc.
My twisted thought: he grows up thinking he's an American citizen, but deathbed mom reveals that he's not - born on the wrong side of the border.
Does this change his views about the border? About immigrants? About himself?
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Craig; way beyond all that. I'm going for an extremely strong character short - not yet another popcorn factory flick. John - I thought about that, but since he's an I.C.E. Border Agent, he needs to prove he's a US citizen...but his mom isn't. Anyway, that's where I'm opening (for now).
Sorry didn’t see you already had the story elements. I thought I knew this thread and revisited it.
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Going in a different direction, what if he's known his entire life that he is a US citizen, but his mother reveals he has an older brother in Mexico that she had to leave behind. Then our hero, on patrol, captures his older brother (maybe the brother is also a "coyote" who smuggles illegals into the US for a price). Seems to bring a certain level of emotion into the short.
Just an idea.
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Craig - I have a start, but we all know how that goes.