Hi! I've been collaborating with another screenwriter on a short film (15 min.) and we've been trying to work out the logline.
Here's what we came up with:
With a bomb threat suspect at large and the police searching, a war veteran and an immigrant must work together for the immigrant's freedom from persecution.
I suspect this could use a bit of tweaking and would appreciate any thoughts or suggestions.
Thanks!
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Feels disjointed...if the immigrant is the one being suspect, state that clearly in the logline.
They're actually at a mall, which should probably be explained also. Thanks for your comments!
A suspected terrorist escapes police capture at a shopping mall because he/she framed an immigrant and a war veteran mentor for the murder they committed. .
Thanks for the suggestion. Clearly, we need to work on the logline, because the problem is one of perception, rather than the immigrant being framed.
But thanks! It's helpful to know what isn't being made clear in the logline.