Anything Goes : If I were in charge of the Rings of Power TV series... by Colin Hussey

Colin Hussey

If I were in charge of the Rings of Power TV series...

Something that's been on my mind, these past couple of weeks, which I'll just dump here for the heck of it:

The publicity I've seen for Rings of Power makes me wish I had the connections to get a billion bucks to make a series set in Tolkien's world. (I'd been a fan of Lord of the Rings since reading the novels, when I was in middle school.)

The pasty-faced mediocrities running the upcoming show won't get as many views as they're hoping, and I doubt there'll be more than one season.

If I were in charge, the 1st season would focus on the First Age and earlier, and it would be anime, like Studio Ghibli, so as to convey the difference in era, while the 2nd season, set in the Second Age, would be live action.

There would be episodes focusing on the rise of the Melkor/Sauron faction in the East and Harad and the resistance & rebellion led by the Blue Wizards against the Melkor cult. As a side benefit for diverse casting, this would create way more gigs for non-white actors than what the current showrunners came up with. I'd cast Barkhad Abdi and Tony Leung as the Blue Wizards, Palando & Alatar.

I'd also want to see Tony Jaa as a protector and caretaker of a mumakil herd in Far Harad, who witnesses mumakil being pressed into military service by the Melkor/Sauron faction for the wars in and around Mordor, thus prompting him to get his herd to safety and take on this gang. Or Dev Patel as Khamûl, one of the Nine who becomes a Nazgul, and Iko Uwais as a rebel aided by the Blue Wizards in his fight against Khamûl's forces. Additionally, there'd be rebel Easterlings and Haradrim aiding the alliance of elves and men in their fight against Sauron in Mordor--one could cast Omar Sy as a warrior of the Blue Wizard faction in Near Harad, who's sent to aid the Western forces and eventually joins the Dunedain. (Why couldn't the Dunedain be multi-ethnic, like the French Foreign Legion?)

Ed Skrein would be offered the part of Sauron, with Mel Gibson as Elendil and Christian Bale as Isildur. The principal orc characters would be played by action stars, like Scott Adkins, Stu Bennett and Kit Harrington, and they'd be both terrifying and funny, like gangsters in The Sopranos--and they'd get to say some inside jokes enjoyed by Tolkien nerds with snarky comments about elves, dwarves, eagles and even elements of their own side, like the Nazgul.

Galadriel would not resemble Joan of Arc, either. A mage of her immense power has no need for armor and swords. (She's more powerful than Gandalf, too.)

As for the Nazgul, here's how I'd depict them and chronicle their story arcs, where they were when visited by Anatar, Bringer of Gifts, who bestowed upon them their rings of power:

Tinker: A well-respected town handyman becomes a master builder and designs many structures for the Cult of Melkor and subsequently for Sauron, personally. He oversees the makeover of Minas Ithil into Minas Morgul, the Nazguls' headquarters.

Tailor: The proprietor of a textile mill becomes a purveyor and clothier of the finest fashions, which nets him many spies and spreaders of gossip for Melkor/Sauron. He is the outfitter of the Nazguls' familiar capes and cowls.

Soldier: Khamûl was already a talented swordsman of growing renown among the ranks of Easterling fighters, when he received his ring of power from Sauron, which amplified his abilities. From there, he became a great general and eventual military dictator.

Sailor: An industrious & ambitious swabbie on the deck of an Umbar privateer vessel receives a power ring as a tip from Anatar/Sauron and eventually becomes a de facto fleet admiral of Umbar corsairs, running a protection racket across Middle Earth’s seas.

Rich Man: A wealthy merchant receives a ring from Anatar/Sauron included in a payment for some items, and he subsequently realizes his dreams of political power, ruling his own fiefdom—with the official religion being the worship of Melkor.

Poor Man: A farmer from a noble family fallen on hard times, driven mad from bad harvests, murders his family and receives his ring of power from a traveling Anatar/Sauron, who also helps him bury his family, when the farmer gives him his last loaf of bread. Newly empowered and invigorated, the farmer subsequently becomes a land baron with his chief crops going to fuel vices (barley, grapes, juniper berries, potatoes, pipe weed, etc.)

Beggar Man: A crippled mendicant with a piercing gaze and burning resentment of the upper classes, begs for alms on a city street and receives a ring from a stranger, one fine day. When he puts it on, he’s no longer crippled, and he eventually goes on to become a high priest in the city’s Temple of Melkor.

Thief: A highwayman encounters Anatar/Sauron, who hands him over a ring of power and urges him to put it on. The thief subsequently becomes a powerful crime lord. (His first job is to steal something for Sauron.)

(These eight would all be bastard sons of nobility, and to each Anatar/Sauron says, prior to giving them their rings: “You may not know it, now, but you are a powerful lord.”)

And finally, there’s the Witch King of Angmar, who was ruling Angmar, when Anatar/Sauron paid a call—during which time the realm was going through a rough patch. Newly empowered and invigorated, Angmar’s ruler regains full control of the realm and builds his military.

Those are some of what comes to mind, when thinking about how I'd handle the earlier ages of Tolkien's world in a TV series. However, I am not an entertainment mogul, so I'll just have to settle for sharing these ideas, here and on some other social media platforms. Maybe in the years to come, someone else will be in a position to do something more spectacular with Tolkien's material than Amazon's upcoming waste of money and labor.

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