Anything Goes : Self-Care and Wellness.... by Joyce Lao

I've questioned my life's decisions now for more than forty years. I feel both blessed and cursed by being a passionate creator (screenwriting & directing). I'm blessed in that I can see, feel & hear so much of my world and cursed by being lonely & unable to connect with many around me. I think that most truly passionate creatives feel this way.

I feel that way every five minutes lol. Every time I have a win, whether that be an accolade or a positive review I put it on my wall so I have to keep looking at the positives and that keeps away some of the negative self talk. For me in my mind I hired myself as a creative and I work at it every day that is the "achieving". As far as income goes, I believe if I really take the advice of other writers in the profession to heart I will eventually sell something or get hired. It is just an inevitable because, why not? I am leveling up my value every time I try and it is a learning opportunity. I'm always vulnerable, but, I allow myself to be aware of my vulnerability and surround myself with failsafes to keep me going. For example, when I know I am going to find out if a project was accepted or not, I plan ahead a new thing to learn or post to make so I have an active way of growing and staying involved even through the celebration or disappointment. I always like to keep myself looking forward to so something, like a new competition, or pitch, or class. I hope that helps. Thanks for sharing and as another nice writer wrote on one of my posts, "You got this!" It sounds like you have really developed an arsenal of work, that experience can only help in sharpen your focus on the future.

Thank you everyone for the vulnerability.... I spend money on it, etc.. Sigh what we do for our love of the art... :)

This is a great post Joyce. Thank you to you, and Doug and Maria for being so honest.

There are some great insights and ideas above. I have scored a bunch of stuff with various degrees of success, and what I've learnt is, the imposter syndrome doesn't stop. I thought once I had heard a score of mine in the cinema I'd feel like a proper composer- I didn't. Then I thought once I got onto BAFTA's talent scheme, I'd finally feel like I'd made it- and I didn't. Next I thought once I heard my music on the BBC I'd feel like a proper composer- and no surprises, I still didn't.

What I've learnt is that arbitrary goal setting doesn't help if you're not dealing with the underlying feeling of imposter syndrome. Not to say goals are bad- I've got a bunch of goals!- but if you're not dealing with why you're feeling a certain way underneath it, none of the achievements will mean anything. Working on understanding yourself and building a healthy self esteem is so important, and something we all neglect; but until I built my self esteem up, I was always disappointed in myself. (I still get that way sometimes, but less than before!)

Maria's practical tips are super good. I have a few myself- whenever I'm feeling worried about my career, I do some deep breathing and repeat a mantra that I made myself, that reminds me that I'm where I'm meant to be. I also have a worry jar, so if I've got anxieties, I write them on a post-it and drop them in the jar. It's a symbolic letting go of the anxiety. Journaling also helps. I love physical exercise- I've taken out the energy of hundreds of rejections on my punchbag and running shoes!

It's also helpful to ask other people to appraise our work- they'll be way more generous to us than we will be to ourselves. You've made four freaking short films and two features!!!!! That's absolutely amazing!! One film is an achievement, but six?! That's huge. You should be super proud of yourself. You've created so much more than most people will ever do. Surround yourself with cheerleaders who celebrate your accomplishments. They'll cheer you on when you can't cheer yourself.

Keep going Joyce. It sounds like you're making such good strides, even if it feels frustrating. Be strong and courageous in what you're doing!

I just hang on...If filmmaking is what you love to do, no one can deny that...even you...because you'll hang on, no matter what...

Thank you for sharing something that many of us struggle with but rarely discuss openly. Being in the creative industry isn't easy, and I think coupled with the PTSD and pandemic stress we have all had to struggle with, many of us are emotionally tapped out. Give yourself grace and kindess if you can. I know I am feeling especially vulnerable after the past few years. Stay well and be kind to yourself.

Kiril Maksimoski so true, Kiril. Every day I’m hanging on, trying to make my way to a green lit project.

Joanna Karselis - wow you had such a journey! thanks for sharing and yeah I am quite hard on myself I guess...

Kiril Maksimoski - thanks for the encouragement, I do have moments of reflection when I ask the Universe or whoever is out there why I love it so much and the struggle has been real but you're right, I am doing it because I love it.

@Maria - Thank you for sharing I actually like that! It does affirm why I do what I do.

Hi, Joyce Lao. Congratulations on your short films and features!

There were plenty of times when I felt tired, vulnerable, and questioning life decisions, especially during the "waiting game" (as I waited to hear back from a producer, company, etc. about a script).

"what are the steps you made to be motivated that it's going to happen for you eventually?" I brainstorm new ideas, write or outline a new script, and I jump onto Stage 32 to be motivated.

Hope you're motivated by these comments. :) And hope you get the NYC funding and other funding!

Joanna Karselis is right, Joyce Lao: "I have scored a bunch of stuff with various degrees of success, and what I've learnt is, the imposter syndrome doesn't stop."

For anyone who needs it, here's a blog about overcoming Imposter Syndrome: "How to Overcome Imposter Syndrome as a Creative" https://www.stage32.com/blog/how-to-overcome-imposter-syndrome-as-a-crea...