Screenwriting : Could use a little help here... by Doug Nelson

Doug Nelson

Could use a little help here...

I'm writing a dual protagonist character driven short script. The female protagonist (a prominent singer) and her female support character (a prominent song writer) have been a lesbian couple/team for many years. I want the audience to understand that they are a lesbian couple but just see them as just every-day working folk. I don't want to delve into the lesbian issue at all.

What's the best way to write this picture?

Agustin Goodwin

Perhaps write the relationship as a traditional hetero relationship with classic relationship tropes. The public is growing more tolerant of these types of relationships in TV. There’s a great French show on Netflix called “Call My Agent” with the protagonist being a lesbian with a newborn baby with her partner. The protagonist plays the more traditional male role in the relationship and the relationship feels very natural. Likewise with Cate Blanchett’s new film “Tar”. One of the women is in the more masculine role. But still an elegant lady- like woman. Just a thought!

Lindbergh E Hollingsworth

If one of them has a cellphone ... how about a photo of the two of them as a screensaver? Or some variation on this depending on the location (i.e. photo on a desktop computer, a photo on a desk ...)

Phillip E. Hardy, Prolifique

Doug:

Treat them like anyone else without relying on tropes or stereotypes. Instead, I would provide basic character descriptions, compelling dialogue, and scenes to define their relationship and allow your audience to figure things out.

Amazing Kacee

Hi Doug - The dialogue in the script does not have to be different you can however have a picture of them getting married on their wall like a camera pan shot to this or have an action sequence that shows the pictures on the wall etc. Or of course, you can mention it in your logline too. It may also be of somewhat importance to note not all gay relationships are masculine and feminine many of them have two feminine people as a couple. Best to you!

E Langley

Pleas like this are extremely common. You are asking experienced/working writers devote their time/effort to teaching you.

Just my advice - go read every book on screenwriting that you can find (there are lots), try writing a script or two, maybe attend a seminar/class but mostly learn by doing.

Doug Nelson

Yes E. Langley, I agree with you. I've been a working screenwriter/staff writer off & on since about 1967. I've taught screenwriting, directing and film production for years and I'm one of the very few here on S32 who has actually sold a 'spec' script for mid six figures. I've read every book on the topic that I can find. I've attended and hosted seminars & classes over the years where I've brought in Agents, Showrunners, Acquisition Executives, Directors and many others. Most of what I've learned has been from doing.

Debbie Croysdale

@Doug I’d add poignant seeds of subtext which can be subtle hints or bombs depending on energy needed from scene. EG Writer is criticised for her last song by an exec at a party so singer gently strokes her hand to comfort her….They are both in a cafe, one holds out the chair for the other looking deeply into her eyes OR singer is hit on by a randy stage hand, stage hand ends up dead, writer walks out of room where his body is eventually found….They are in a restaurant, waitress/waiter hits on writer, singer throws drink on them. Your short sounds interesting.

Doug Nelson

Uncle Phil, I'm staying away from tropes & stereotypes at all costs but this being a short character driven scrip (limited to 20 pages), I have to make this small but important point pop quickly.

Doug Nelson

Kacee, I like the idea of a wedding photo - pan shot of a desk. I just hadn't thought of that. Thanx, Doug

Abdallah Saleh

I say go all out and do a gratuitous love scene

J. Franklin Evans

I say just mention the relationship in the description of the character but don't worry about having anything else in the script to demonstrate it. Let the actors figure it out.

Christiane Lange

I would have them do the kinds of intimate, banal things that couples of long standing do, like getting each other coffee automatically or making fun of the other's PJs or whatever. Rather than a love scene, you could also have moments of affection, like a tender moment ending in a kiss on the top of the head, for example. It is not sexual, but also not something mere friends usually do. All you need are some strategically placed dialog or action snippets.

Doug Nelson

Christiane - I'm headed in that direction but in a short I've got to make the point quickly. I like Kacee's wedding photo idea. Abdallah, you're not part of my intended audience. E Langley - you must be a member of the touchy-feely squad.

Craig D Griffiths

Do you have a phone call? If so the Call ID may be a way. Phone rings, screen shows “wifey”.

The one thing I know about most people is face touching. If you touch someone’s face you are in a very intimate space with that person.

I love my daughter-in-law, but if she had something on her face I would to the spot on my face and say “You have something there”. With my wife I would start scrubbing away.

Doug Nelson

E - just go argue with a fence post - I have neither time or interest.

Christiane Lange

Doug Nelson Yes, wedding photo could work, or if they have an early dialogue about work, say, it could switch at the end to the personal, with one asking the other, "so, are we going to your mom or mine for Thanksgiving?" or similar.

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