Screenwriting : Loglines by Bop Shipman

Hello Bop, here's a template that might help, courtesy of our friend Maurice Vaughan:

"After ______ (the inciting incident/the event that sets the plot in motion), a _______ (the protagonist with an adjective) tries/attempts to _______ (goal of story) so ________ (stakes)."

Loglines are one or two sentences (a one-sentence logline sounds better and it takes less time for a producer, director, etc. to read it). You can add the antagonist in the logline. The inciting incident can also be at the end of the logline.

Avoid using "must" in loglines because "must" sounds like the main character is forced to do whatever the goal of the story is, and "must" doesn't sound active. Instead of using "must," use "fights to," "struggles to," "attempts to," "strives to," "sets out to," "fights," "battles," "engages in," "participates," "competes," etc.

Example #1:

"After a group of dog criminals arrives in a small town, an impulsive dog sheriff defends a dog treat factory so they won't steal food that's meant for hungry dog families."

Example #2:

"A dysfunctional couple works together to survive against bears after they crash on an abandoned road miles from help."

Logline don't work = probably lack in the story development = don't waste time on script... use loglines, they are great early indicator of story being filmable or not...

Thanks Marcos Fizzotti , that's what I was looking for a basic template.

Try to find your love for writing loglines because not only is that an essential skill but so is writing synopsis, treatments, and tag lines. Writing outside of the script is a big part of being a working screenwriter and I keep seeing writers complain that they have to do it.

Here's my tip: open a blank document, write your best logline, hit copy and paste, and then make adjustments. Then copy and paste it again and repeat the process over and over and over until you have filled the page with lots of different versions. Hopefully you'll really enjoy the process of developing and reworking it.

You're welcome, Bop.

Bob:

I've posted this many times before, but this example may help you better understand how to write a logline. When you do one, I recommend writing at least six or more versions and then sitting down and analyzing which one reads the best.

Here are the logline tips:

For many writers, loglines are a serious challenge. Think of your logline the same way you would if you were trying to craft a hit song. You have limited time to grab someone's attention.

To get a producer/actor/agent to read your script, crafting a good logline is the first step. If your logline is bland, why would anybody want to read your synopsis, let

alone your screenplay?

TIP ONE

When you write your logline, a good rule of thumb includes protagonist, antagonist, obstacles, and challenges. Then summarize your story in a sentence or two.

Examine this logline from the classic film The Sweet Smell of Success

A press agent, hungry to get ahead, is pushed by a ruthless columnist to do cruel, evil things and is eventually caught in the web of lies that he has created.

1) The logline is 32 words and is stated in a high-concept sentence.

2) It identifies the press agent, a damaged protagonist controlled by the antagonist, a ruthless columnist.

3) The logline informs the reader of the consequences of the protagonist's actions.

TIP TWO:

1. Naming the character - Do not name your main character or any other characters in your logline. Names don't reveal anything about your characters. You only have a few words to tell the reader about your character, so don't waste time on names.

2. Only getting across the setup - At the very least, a logline should cover up to the midpoint. You're in trouble if your logline only gets across the first ten to fifteen pages of your script.

3. Not giving your character a mission - If you've only included the setup of your story in your logline, then you haven't told us what action your main character takes.

4. Being too vague - Often, writers create detailed character descriptions and setups, then close out the logline with an incredibly vague overview of the plot.

5. Typos and grammatical mistakes - There's no excuse for typos. Make the structure of your logline as easy to read as possible.

6. Loglines that are more than one sentence long - A logline should be one sentence. It isn't a high concept if your logline doesn't fit in one sentence. (On this point, I would say one to two sentences. But I always write them in one)

Good tips all Uncle Phil. As I begin a new project, I generally write a dozen or more - not really loglines but - idea lines about the story & theme. As I begin to develop and outline the story, I add a few idea lines and strike a few out. As I get into writing; more pop up and more are deleted. By the time I'm through with the first draft, a few of those ideas remain. It's during the rewrite process that they tend to filter tighter. I don't actually write a market intended logline until the script is finished. That's only my general trend - it doesn't always work like that.

Loglines can be tough, Bop Shipman. Here’s a logline template that might help you:

“After ______ (the inciting incident/the event that sets the plot in motion), a _______ (the protagonist with an adjective) tries to _______ (goal of story) so ________ (stakes).”

Loglines are one or two sentences (a one-sentence logline sounds better and it takes less time for a producer, director, etc. to read it). You can add the antagonist in the logline. The inciting incident can also be at the end of the logline.

Avoid using “must” in loglines because “must” sounds like the main character is forced to do whatever the goal of the story is (instead of the main character doing it willingly), and “must” doesn’t sound active. Audrey Knox (a TV literary manager) also said this during a logline review webinar on Stage 32 (https://www.stage32.com/webinars/The-Write-Now-Challenge-The-Logline-Rev...). Instead of using “must,” use “attempts to,” “fights to,” “struggles to,” “strives to,” “sets out to,” “fights,” “battles,” “engages in,” “participates,” “competes,” etc.

Example #1:

“After a group of dog criminals arrives in a small town, an impulsive dog sheriff defends a dog treat factory so they won’t steal food that’s meant for hungry dog families.”

Example #2:

“A dysfunctional couple works together to survive against bears after they crash on an abandoned road miles from help.”

NOTE: Not all stories will follow this logline template. Biopics and documentaries might not follow this template. The overall logline for a TV show might not follow this template, but the logline for an episode in the show could.

Thanks, Marcos Fizzotti. I didn't see your comment until after I posted mine. :) That template has grown and changed over the years. The template isn't a "you have to follow this" type of thing, but it helps me write successful loglines.

Exactly, Kiril Maksimoski ("use loglines, they are great early indicator of story being filmable or not").

"...write your best logline, hit copy and paste, and then make adjustments. Then copy and paste it again and repeat the process over and over and over until you have filled the page with lots of different versions." That's a great idea, CJ Walley. And it works. I do that when I come up with a logline.

"After ____________, a ______________ (adjective) detective races to stop a criminal....."

"After ____________, a ______________ (adjective) secret agent races to stop a super spy....."

"After ____________, a ______________ (adjective) gang unit officer races to stop a gang....."

Bop Shipman for a spec feature project, I go in with a concept that can be expressed through a basic logline, and usually once I've written the script, there are emergent elements that are more specific, so I make revisions to the logline throughout the writing process and eventually complete the script and write a synopsis;

then, if I am speaking with industry people about the project, I might rewrite the logline two or three dozen times to get it crafted for maximum elegance and power.

If you're a writer, then you should be able to bring the same level of intensity and commitment to an email, a script, short story, blog post, logline or any format, it's an opportunity to elevate your commitment and determination to improve through practice, hammering away with an editorial laser focus until you achieve what you believe in your mind and in your heart is possible for your creative expression.

You can do it !!

A longline should contain 5 key components: Indication of genre, your lead character, what they want, what will get in their way and what’s really important (connected to core theme of the project). Longline sure can take a large amount of work to get right but it’s worth doing to nail your first impression.

Marcelo: Check you out, spamming every thread. Whatever you're selling, I'm not buying.