Screenwriting : What’s the In? What’s the Out? by Maurice Vaughan

Great article. Thank you.

You're welcome, Mariana Convery. I try to always know my script's In and Out before writing the script. Are you the same way?

I sure hope I do anyway.

Love this!

Mariana Convery I've found that knowing a script's In and Out ahead of time helps me not write myself into corners. Sometimes, however, I change a script's In and Out as I write/rewrite the script.

Glad you liked the article, Angavu Grace. Do you outline ahead of time, or do you figure things out as you go?

Thanks for the share Maurice Vaughan. Great advice and got mine all worked out for my new story. Opposites work well.

You're welcome, Mark Deuce. I do that sometimes ("Opening image should be the same but different one in the last image"). Sometimes the images are different and I show something at the end that ties to the main character's arc. Or I'll show something at the end that sets up a sequel.

You're welcome, Ingrid Wren. That sounds great! :D What genre is your new story?

Good article.

It really is, Craig D Griffiths. How's your script(s) going?

This is really good. I think I was doing this without realizing it. At the beginning of my latest script, a supporting character is starting a puzzle as the catalyst is going on. At the end, the puzzle is complete with an image of her family as made whole (or resolved). Did the same thing (in a different way) with the one I'm working on now. The main character is incomplete but what they receive by the end (a new family) makes them whole.

Another good In/Out scenes are in "The Searchers" (John Ford, 1956). It begins with the front door opening and John Wayne's character Ethan riding up. It ends with the same door closing and Ethan walking away. It show us the flawed antihero whose views changed during the film, but in the end, was still and loner and outsider.

Those are great Ins and Outs, Leonardo! I really like the puzzle one.

Thanks for the movie reference, David C. Velasco. I can picture that In and Out so clearly.

Does anyone else know any great Ins and Outs in movies or shows?

Maurice Vaughan One of my favorite movies is "The Book of Eli". The in is the scene of Denzel Washington's character, Eli, fading in and walking towards the camera in an arid wasteland. The last scene is of his replacement, walking in the same arid wasteland away from the camera and fading out.

Thanks, Leonardo. It's been a while since I've seen "The Book of Eli," but I remember that In and Out, which shows you if you write a great In and Out, people will remember it (the same thing with "The Searchers," as David C. Velasco mentioned). Denzel is tied for my favorite actor.

It's a grounded sci-fi Maurice Vaughan, although it's turning into some kind of horror/mystery as I work. This is the joy of making stuff up, you never know where it's going to lead!

You're right, Ingrid Wren. We never know where our scripts will go and a lot of time, the new ideas are better than the original ones.

A Horror/Mystery sounds interesting! I'm not sure if I've seen one of those before. Is it a feature or show?

A man has to be what he is, Maurice. Can't break the mould.

I tried it and it didn't work for me.

We want you, Shane.

Maurice, there's no living with a killing. There's no going back from one.

Right or wrong, it's a brand. A brand sticks. There's no going back.

Now you run on home to your mother, and tell her...

...tell her everything's all right and there aren't any more guns in the valley.

Maurice Vaughan Hey bro hope you're good. I have my first pitch session soon and I wanted to ask you for some advice. What's the best way I can nail this session? Do's and Dont's?​

I didn't know I was in "Shane," Thomas. :)

Hey, Crisco. I'm glad to help you out with advice. Is it a written pitch or a live pitch?

Classic Maurice, per your post, Shane ends with the classic, poignant goodbye and farewell. Joey is the first to see Shane ride into their community, and he is the only one to bid Shane, his mythical idolized hero, farewell. Helped revitalized the Western genre, Oscar-winning cinematography!

I'll have to check out "Shane," Thomas. How are your projects going?

Maurice, I'm seeking representation for my original script, Strike a Pose, which lends itself to a never ending line of sequels, which are simmering on the stove . . .

A 1972 Miami noir, once upon a time, that opens with an early morning bank robbery and a seemingly unrelated, a dozen years prior, daring nighttime art heist. Multiple story lines with colorful characters, weaves and intersects its way through a tale of mayhem and creative independence.

The charter fishing is awesome, the horse races are fixed, the classic cars are cool and the live music absolutely grooves !

Check it out if you get some time, Maurice. My best to you & hope your projects are going exceedingly well !

https://www.stage32.com/profile/873575/Screenplay/Strike-a-Pose-2

Maurice Vaughan it's a live pitch

Yes, I definitely think about this, and will often visualize the In and the Out as the first step, because that is your arc in a sense.

This was one of my Dad’s favourite movies and I remember watching it with him. Loved it and also the big question at the end. To Joey he’s a hero. And his Mum wants him to stay. So why does he leave? That to my Dad was the big mystery and is ‘on theme’ with the opening scene. Who is this rider?

I think he left the kid, Joey, because he wanted the mystery to continue and to remain a hero, not a dead hero in joey’s eyes. That final scene is loaded with pathos, especially for my Dad, as his father passed away when he was 14 and was left to provide for a family: his Mum and three siblings. Scenes like that are universal, as they touch so many people with a slice of their own lives.

The in and out is that the mystery of this figure continues, but I think there is also scope for using the out as an antithesis for the in; to show an erosion of hope, or desires and beliefs and yes even the erosion of mystery. But for Shane this was not the case and it is all the better for it.

@Thomas Pollart, after reading Marty's comment, I checked out your script, and he has a point. Before seeking representation, you should seriously consider rewriting it to proper format, and make the descriptions more concise.

The in and out is a method used also in literature to understand is a text is consistent. When you have to select a text among 100 you read the beginning and the end not all the text. Of course it works with scripts too.

I'll try to squeeze your script in sometime, Thomas. I'm working on a rewriting job, I have some scripts lined up to read for writers, and I'm battling the flu today.

INT. BEDROOM - DAY

OPENING ON: A PREGNANT WOMAN paints walls around a fresh crib.

--

EXT. NEWSTAND - DAY

CLOSE UP ON: A newspaper's classifieds section...

ZOOM IN ON: "For sale: Bronzed Baby Booties - Never Worn."

FADE OUT.

(This has been the the IN / OUT of the saddest short film.)

Here are some tips for live pitching, Angavu Grace:

#1) Know your story and your characters inside out.

#2) Pitch like you're having a conversation with a friend about your script (this'll help keep your pitch from sounding wooden/stiff).

#3) Be mindful of how much time you have to pitch, but don't rush.

Here are some posts with tips on pitching:

https://www.stage32.com/lounge/directing/Life-of-a-First-Feature-Film-Di...

https://www.stage32.com/lounge/screenwriting/Live-Pitch

https://www.stage32.com/lounge/screenwriting/Pitch-Advice

I suggest checking out this webinar: https://www.stage32.com/webinars/Pitching-Tips-from-the-Pros-Your-Bluepr...

Are you a member of the Writers' Room? If you are, there's a Pitch Practice every Thursday at 8:00 PM Est (https://www.stage32.com/lounge/screenwriting/Pitch-practice-session-tomo...).

Thanks for sharing, B A Mason. What's the saddest short film?

David C. Velasco yeah, David. That’s a great one. Perfectly framed.

@Dan MaxXx - I don't disagree but I think it's possible to do both. I wrote a treatment for a sequel with a story that came to mind years later while the first one had a clear in/out. I planted a seed in the first one that could have played out or never - and no one would have ever known - no retconning. I still prefer the beginning-middle-end story and format the first one in that manner. More satisfying.

Thanks for reviews, Marty and Christiane and the spelling error, ug! I followed the format of Ernest Lehman's script, North by Northwest, which has long been the industry standard. Every time your story cuts to a new scene, a new scene heading must be created to establish the location and tell the reader what they should be envisioning. All of Earnest Lehman's headings are very story detailed and easy to envision versus a vague and nondescript heading to meet some arbitrary letter count. See the script North by Northwest link below to review how to properly format your script and tell a story. https://www.dailyscript.com/scripts/NorthByNorthwest.pdf

Hey, Thomas. "North by Northwest" came out in 1959, so script formatting has changed a lot since then. You wrote, "Every time your story cuts to a new scene, a new scene heading must be created to establish the location and tell the reader what they should be envisioning." That's the job of the first action lines in a scene. I suggest reading some up-to-date scripts on Stage 32 (https://www.stage32.com/loglines). That'll help you with formatting.

@Thomas Pollart (tagging not working), to the best of my knowledge, current formatting is quite different. Scene headings are in all caps and simply give INT. or EXT. plus LOCATION and DAY or NIGHT.

Blocks of action lines should ideally be 3 lines or less, unless you are Tarantino.

It is not necessary to describe characters or settings down to clothing colors, types of furniture etc., unless there is some very specific reason that it is relevant. Find a pithy phrase instead.

spot on Christiane

Maurice Vaughan I hope you are feeling better today, Maurice.

Thanks, Geoff. I'm getting better.

Let's bypass the boring formatting question Maurice, Christiane and Marty & get to the actual story telling. I'm more interested in that my opening scene reads as, ‘I want to get away, driving down visually cinematic coastal Florida A1A with two captivating and alluring characters who quickly become tangled in mystery, suspense and escalation conflict, than obsessing with the format’. .. as the horizon closes with dark washes of cerulean blues & deep violets, the front continues moving in off the coast.

https://www.stage32.com/sites/stage32.com/files/assets/screenplay/873575...

Just saying, the script format by these two writers. Ernest Lehman, six Academy Awards. Quentin Tarantino, two academy awards, two BAFTA, four Golden Globes and the Palme d’Or.

Maurice Vaughan and Thomas I suppose you could get away with the Lehman formatting if you were trying to emulate the style of filmmaking in 1959, and that it was germane to your pitch?

For me, there’s just too much going on, on the page. I like white space in scripts; with minimalist, succinct phrasing and descriptions. After all, I’m not writing a novel.

Hi, Thomas. I agree that the main focus should be on the story, but if the formatting is too difficult to navigate through, readers, producers, directors, etc. won't read the script long enough to get to the story.

Ernest Lehman and Quentin Tarantino are highly successful screenwriters and while other screenwriters should aspire to write scripts in the styles that they do, I don't suggest that other screenwriters copy Ernest and Quentin's writing styles. Once other screenwriters are established, then they're able to write like Ernest, Quentin, and other highly successful screenwriters.