Dear Animation Community,
I developed an original series with a deep premise and great potential for comedy aimed at kids and teens aged about 8-15 years.
If you know someone who is looking for a concept like this, I'd be grateful if you could let me know.
Also happy to get your thoughts on this. :-D
Logline:
At a closed boarding school where kids are prepared for their role in society by robot teachers, a shy girl hacks and rebuilds the tutors to get a lot of fun out of them, and makes new friends.
When she finds out they are all going to be separated in three months, she takes heart and commits everybody to changing the whole system.
Idea:
In this series, the robot teachers are an allegory of a society that has overcome prejudice but also creativity and fun in favor of maximum efficiency. The individuality of the children is respected only in terms of their abilities, yet their character traits and the need for friendship are ignored.
Not only are the kids locked up on the campus and left on their own, they are also to be separated from each other time and again so they can’t have close friends. But underestimating kids has always been a big mistake, and Julia proves it again!
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"At a closed boarding school," I had to reread this to realize that what you meant was a "closed campus"
Though, I had always assumed most boarding schools were closed campus in that their students "boarded" ( as in, the school provides housing for the students ) there.
I know, this sounds a bit nitpicky. But, consider that someone who is reading this might not go any further because they're not clear on the concept.
Would it therefore not behoove you to simply state that this is simply a boarding school and leave it at that-Or, is the school in the process of closing down?
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This sounds like a fun, unique series, Till Olshausen. I think your logline has too many details though. I suggest making it shorter.
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Hey Till Olshausen! Thanks for sharing, this project looks great. We have some great executives on the site that could help you with knowing the next steps for your project. Feel free to shoot me an email at success@stage32.com with your logline and I can recommend some people to you :)
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Hi Till - this sounds like a very cool idea. I know this is a TV series but the Oscar nominated writer of Toy Story is hosting an upcoming Stage 32 class on writing animation for the big screen that I recommend as it covers character and world building in a way that you may find useful. You’ll also have access to Alec on email for the duration of the class to ask him specific questions about your project. Here’s a link so you can check it out: https://www.stage32.com/classes/From-Pen-To-Pixels-Writing-Your-Animatio...
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Hi Till! Thanks for sharing. Love the concept, and that the teachers are robots is such a great metaphor. Would love to know more!
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Elaine Haygood Hey Elaine, thank you very much for sharing your thoughts. :-) What I mean by "closed" is that the students can't leave the campus because there's a fence, closed gates, AI surveillance and so on. Just a little bit like a prison that hides its dread behind beautiful colors, large greens, light-flooded rooms...
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Maurice Vaughan Thank you for commenting, Maurice. I'll think about a logline that's more tight. I guess writers tend to be too much in love with their projects sometimes. :-)
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Emily J Thanks, Emily. I'll be in touch next month after having attended the FMX Stuttgart and meeting some execs there.
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You're welcome, Till Olshausen. Yeah, sometimes we tend to be too much in love with our projects/too close to our projects. That's a great reason to get feedback. Other people can see things that we don't.