Introduce Yourself : New screenwriter looking for comments... by Joe Rufo

Joe Rufo

New screenwriter looking for comments...

OK, I'm a relative newbie to this artform but I feel like I caught a good break when I found a true story about a guy that was lynched over a hundred years ago. Without going into too much detail, I wanted to seek comments on how I've designed the story. Here's the breakdown:

1. Guy is immediately hung in first 30 seconds

2. Same guy - in present day clothing - appears

3. THAT guy leads us through the story incldg.:

A. A rape

B. A botched investigation & indictment

C. A newspaper that incites a mob to act

D. A mob stages an assault on the jail

E. They abduct the guy and lynch him

F. The rape victim IDs someone else

F. The mob leader is found not guilty

G. The DA shoots himself in the head

4. The story ends with the present day guy

feeling like he got some level of justice,

and is hopeful that recent steps the town has

taken to honor him may plants seeds for a

better tomorrow - to which he says that

maybe now, he can rest in peace.

Ok all you gurus out there, is this a formula for success or disaster? Please feel free to be as critical as you want.

Thanks!

Maurice Vaughan

Welcome to the community, Joe Rufo. That’s a nice start. I suggest checking out this webinar on outlining: www.stage32.com/education/search?term=Outline&h=outlining-your-feature-s...

Pat Alexander

Hey Joe Rufo thank you for sharing your loose outline with us! It looks to be a very intense dramatic saga with the bones of a nice plot. As you continue on, don't forget your characters. We show up most of the time to spend time with great characters who experience change, growth, and evolution in ways that move and inspire us. That's the main thing I'd want to know more about -- who is this man who will be hanged, where did he come from, what's in his spirit?

Sam Sokolow

Hi Joe Rufo - it's great to meet you here on IYW! Maurice's recommendation is spot on! Also, these may not be apples-to-apples comparisons, but I'd also recommend going back and watching the movie SUNSET BOULEVARD and the pilot for the TV show DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES, which both have narraters that die at the beginning. May spark some structural thoughts.

Sam Rivera

Hi Joe Rufo i second Maurice’s advice on outlining, these can help really construct how you won’t your story to unfold!

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