Screenwriting : Please, correct me if I’m wrong. by Charles V Abela

Charles V Abela

Please, correct me if I’m wrong.

A couple switch on the TV in their room. For all intents and purposes, the news anchor is another character present in their room – fully visible and her voice heard.

My opinion: Neither in that initial scene nor indeed when the news anchor hurries to the bathroom where she is seen powdering her nose, need the script show: “INT. NEWSROOM and INT. BATHROOM. Your opinions please...

Charles V Abela

Dan Guardino Agree. with what you said. But this is how my scene goes develops as the couple watch TV.

INT. JESSICA'S APARTMENT - DAY

She talks with her husband Gordon.

She switches TV on.

A reporter Mandy, on TV announces where she is reporting from - a Yonkers public school.

She finishes her blah blah and switches control to another reporter.

Mandy announces ... this is Farmington Conn School where John Dwyer is reporting from.

John does his blah blah, then transfers it back to Mandy saying she is in the studio.

So the scenes go backwards and forwards.

At no point, I don't have to explain where the scene is because the info is given by the reporter.

At the end, the TV is turned off.

And the dialogue continues between Jessica and her husband Gordon

So it all happens and ends in one room.

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The point that comes to mind... the producer (hope springs eternal) gets pissed off because on a bad day he could complain ... this is not in the correct format i.e. no action line which is needed to set up the physical scene - lost as to where to set the scene (in theory, anybody should tell). Never been any filming action... so I am speculating.

Sallie Olson

I'm a rookie at this, but it seems to me like it'd be something like:

INT JESSICA'S APARTMENT - DAY

She talks with her husband, Gordon.

She switches the TV on.

ON THE TV

A reporter, Mandy, announces she is reporting from a Yonkers public school.

Mandy does her blah-blah, then hands off to John at the Farmington Conn School.

John does his blah blah, then hands back to Mandy

RETURN TO JESSICA'S APARTMENT

Charles V Abela

Dan Guardino Thank you. The piece that answered my question as to what I thought was this:

JENNIFER

Josh Wilder is standing by with an update.

JOSH WILDER, 40s, stands in front of the four story hospital building.

JOSH

Thanks, Jennifer.

----

So there was no new scene inserted.

-------------------------------------------------

KATY (O.S.)

He knows Shay's birth mother.

----

I take it that Kate's eyes were probably on the TV when she uttered the words i.e she was not seen... off screen.

Hope I got it right.

Charles V Abela

Sallie Olson That's it, I guess. My reporting scene is never interrupted by dialogue within the room. Only the reporting position changes. But like in Dan's, you introduce ON TV... I treated the TV as another character with a face and voice. His introduction was turning the remote on. Now, I feel I should put the intro: ON TV when it kicks off.

Michael Dzurak

You can introduce the scenes via normal sluglines and then "CUTAWAY" so…

INT. LIVING ROOM

Couple watches TV, the ANCHOR's voice is strong in the room.

They see the anchor run off, think little of it… (etc etc... your scene action)

(then at the key moment):

CUTAWAY: the Anchor powders her nose in a bathroom

(more living room action lines)

So you didn't intro a new scene but got the point across.

Chris Nolan also uses "INSERT CUTS" (as he scripts them) of scenes inserted into others. For this in particular see the last 2-3 pages of "The Dark Knight."

Charles V Abela

Michael Dzurak I had the impression that newbie screen writers who are anon should stick to the absolute standard format formatting rules. Always so confusing.

Charles V Abela

Wilkinson Rogers Noted.

Charles V Abela

This extract is from Dr Trottier and sums it up:

O.S. and V.O. exceptions

• Suppose there is a TV in the scene, and the TV screen is in full view (within the camera frame or view). Technically, the person on the TV screen is at the scene location since the TV is at the scene location. Thus, the character that we see speaking on TV is like any other character in the room. Since we see him speaking, his speech is normal dialogue without any special notation.

However, if the TV is at the scene location, but is turned away from the camera view and we don't see the character on the TV screen, her speech should be marked O.S. because she is technically there at the scene location, but she is not in the camera view.

Michael Dzurak

Charles V Abela Yes, you should thoroughly demonstrate that you know the standard formatting conventions however with each script you write, your own voice will develop and creep in. Which is good if you develop that voice from the generally expected conventions.

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