The few times i get, or sometimes pay for feedback, I have been told I am describing too much, but what I'm describing is important to the story, I get that Steven King level detail is too much for a basic screenplay, but the background I am describing is important to the story and plot. Is there a sweet spot?
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sometimes I even get, 'leave that to the director, unless your going to be the director." isn't it a collaboration between the two?
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It can be tricky, Daniel Morris. Describe too little and the reader might not understand what's going on. Describe too much and you'll get the note that you got.
Could you describe what's important to the story in different words so you cut down on the length of your descriptions while still describing what's important?
And the background you're describing might not be as important as you think. I've described things in scripts, then read the scripts later and realized I didn't need those things. I got rid of those things from the script, and sometimes I kept them in the synopsis and/or treatment.
"Sometimes I even get, 'leave that to the director, unless your going to be the director." isn't it a collaboration between the two?" It is a collaboration between the two, but there are some things that writers don't have to put in scripts, like camera angles and some notes (like "This scene will have a big CGI explosion"), which take up space in scripts.
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Instead of shooting from the hip, I took a quick peek at your material.
You're writing novels in a pseudo-screenplay format. There is way too much detail, and it's in prose, not cinematic language. The pages are not in proper screenplay format.
Start by using screenwriting software like Final Draft or Fade In and reading screenplays found online via Google to find sweet spots you're currently distant from.
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when I did use the screenwriting software, I was accused of having a dialog heavy script, where the talking just went on and on, that I needed to show not tell. so I describe things, and now I have too much detail, somewhere in between is the sweet spot, that i am fumbling in the dark to find.
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Huh? You stopped using screenwriting software due to notes you were dialogue heavy?
Look, it's a process. Read screenplays. Better yet, find scripts to films you adore and read the script while watching the film. Read books on the craft.
The only light on the path leading out of the dark rests in your hands. Take charge.
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A recent podcast with Shane Black discusses this issue and many other aspects of successful screenwriting here: https://creators.spotify.com/pod/show/screenwriters-rant-room/episodes/5...
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no, I still use it studio binder I did not make clear what was going on, exporting does something weird where the file size is too big, so I transfer it to a different place where the file size is more normal for PDFs. I was not clear when I wrote that last post, the word when should not have been first, and part of the post was lost. I meant that do use it, and when I submitted i was accused of dialog heavy scripts, that there cant simply bee multiple pages of dialog, though I had seen many other scripts that only had that. as I said, apparently there is a sweet spot between dialog heavy and oversharing
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The only details that matter are what matters most to the story... a gun is a gun, right, but if it's a Colt 45 with a worn military insignia that shows us something.
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if you want to know how much details to include, I have two suggestions.
Ask a director for comments on your script. I have myself directed a lot of no-budget filming.
Read scripts written by people who have directed. I learned screenwriting by directing.
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Hi Daniel Morris - you're getting some terrific advice here from community members. I also recommend chekcing our Spencer Robinson's webinar on how to write effective descriptions in your screenplay - Spencer is a literary manager and terrific resource. Here's a link so you can take a look: https://www.stage32.com/education/products/how-to-write-descriptions-in-...
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A very humbling experience it to watch a film while followig along with the shooting script. What you realize is all that detail and a good part of the dialog is cut out. The point of a spec script is to make something easy and quick to read and stands out to the producer and actors who will make it.
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Keep it simple. That's it. But keep your style and don't listen to everyone's opinion.
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What David B. Wright & Stephen Folker said - and turn off grammar check ;-)
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This is a great question! From my perspective, decide to go with your intuition but once you edit the first and subsequent draft, be ruthless about cutting excess words.
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I do this. One piece of feedback was that the actors don't need so much direction. its not a stage play. The actors will interpret the scene. That's their job!
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I was told the same thing when I first started and didn't understand it because I was writing them based on what I'd read. Then I realized I had been reading television shooting scripts done just before production and after everyone behind the scenes had gone over them and added notes, not the scripts the production had started with. Have you taken a look at others to help get the feel of it?
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Thanks bill, that is not something that ever occurred to me, I guess I have never seen a pre production script. I will defiantly look to getting and looking over one or twelve
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Typically, the director will guess what is best to do. So details should be minimized. Besides, disasters often happen, which forces the director to improvise, which makes it impossible to follow detailed instructions.
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It's up to you. It's your vision, your artistic voice. Just try to keep things to one page per minute.
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Daniel Morris. Society 32. I consider my colleagues to be professors who gave you every piece of advice and information, but I have one last thing. A good script is what contains good details. Without description, there will be no scenario. For the clothes, décor, lighting, and soundtrack, every detail in the scenario has its place on the screen and its place with the recipient.
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If the reading of the detail is holding up the reading experience it can throw off the pacing for your script. Sometimes you can deliver an impact of something with one or two carefully chosen words better than two sentences. I'd suggest reading scripts for movies and TV shows you are familiar with to see how what is written is translated to the screen.
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The sweet spot will come by writing a lot and reading stacks of screenplays and coming up with your own beliefs on what is right on the page. GL!
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What I've been taught is that paragraphs shouldn't exceed three lines or sentences. Something that can help achieve that is asking if what you've written could be said in fewer words. As a hypothetical, say you're writing a sensory detail like a particularly foul smell. You could write, "A cloud reeking of death and misery invades their senses." A shorter, and to-the-point, version would this: "A foul air hits them." The shorter one achieves the same visual without any extra words. The same goes for objects. I once wrote a scene where I described a board room and everything inside. Turns out, I didn't have to, because everyone on hearing the term "board room" knows what that looks like, so any further description is unnecessary unless there's something unusual or unique about the location/object. Hope that helps. Apologies if I've restated something you already know.
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Daniel, when you say something like "the background I am describing is important to the story and plot" that in and of itself raises concerns. Screenplays...movies...are revealed in the moment, and far more often than not, visually...supported by precise dialogue. Unless you're watching it on the screen in the moment, there is no background or backstory. Whatever you want someone to know about background or plot can only be revealed in the visual or action you are imagining or through the words of one of your characters. Anything else is superfluous and will only be seen as such by any experienced producer or director. Add to that the truism that less is always more and you'll be crafting a far more compelling and professional script. You never want to use more words than is absolutely necessary to effectively describe something, or use any more dialogue than a particular character would say based on who they are in that circumstance. Also, keep in mind that your screenplay is only a blueprint for a director, It is not a novel , it only needs to contain the minimum necessary to bring your story to life and allows them to immediately see the possibilities of what they can do with the material.
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Daniel Morris, there is a lot of great "adapting to the norm" advice here but it is all up to you.
Any director might take your, mine, or anyone's script and write 3 to 10 maybe 100 pages of notes per page of the script by the time it's ready for production. There are countless visions that the director needs to see for themselves before they can start the pre-production.
If the exact same script made it to 10 different directors, each would make a different movie, there is also budget/finance limitations and on and on...
One very real and rare exception was Peter Jackson directing Lord of the Rings he said he shot everything in the novels because LOTR fandom got under his skin. One of Jackson's previous films was an adapted screenplay from a novel, it did not do well in sales, and was poorly received by fans of the book.
So there is a way to get your story out there, direct your novel, self publish it, and build a fan base.
Good Luck Daniel.
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There's a simple rule I adhere to. As the writer, you are the audience. Write what you can see on the screen in front of you. Everything else is a waste of space
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As a paid reader for studios/prod-cos/networks for many years, this rule should always be followed: "Less is more."
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One of the best screenplays I read was a draft of The Revenant movie. Writer did not use slug lines or follow format rules. Wrote in chunky paragraphs. I had no problem following the story. The sentences were basic 4th grade level but visually gripping.
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Daniel Morris As some have mentioned, reading scripts is the best way to learn. There are many different types to be found online. Start with scripts of Academy-Award-nominated movies put out by the Academy each year. They will be different from the original versions by the writer/s, but they will give you a good idea of how the words on the page translate onto the screen.
Once you've digested a few dozen of those and you have your feet under you, ask around for earlier copies of scripts - one's closer to the writer's original intentions. They're not always easy to find but worth looking for. Read those while you watch the film. It'll be instructive to see what was kept, edited down, changed, or discarded.
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Digging this back up because dogmatic advice can be dangerous.
Reading scripts is powerful, but not necessarily for the reasons people state. Reading scripts won't tell you specifically how to write, but it should show you the spectrum of what's considered acceptable. It will most likely prove to you that there's an audience for your voice, which you may need to know when people are telling you you must specifically do x and y.
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Don't ask, just show your writing has an attitude...If I had something important to tell in my script I'd stay with it...