Page 4 - Four Panels
(Ch2 Pg4 Panel-One)
INT. TAILOR'S SHOP - DAY. Garerit stands at the counter of his shop, his face pale and determined. He looks at the door, half-open, with the boy's words still echoing in his mind. He grabs his cloak from a hook by the door, tossing it over his shoulders. He glances at the stack of unfinished garments, pausing for a moment before making up his mind.
SB (Gerarit - Inner Thought): No time to waste. My family needs me.
SB (CAPTION): Garerit, a simple tailor, knows when to stop making garments and start making his way to those he loves.
(Ch2 Pg4 Panel-Two)
EXT. TAILOR'S SHOP - DAY. Garerit shuts the door behind him, locking it with a small, brass key.
He takes one last look at his humble shop and walks. The townsfolk watch him, their worried faces etched with concern. One villager, an older man, calls out to him.
SB (Villager): Garerit, are you sure it's safe to leave? The giants might already be on their way!
SB (Garerit): I can't sit idly by while my family's in danger. I'll be back soon, don't worry.
SB (Villager): Godspeed, Garerit. Be careful!
(Ch2 Pg4 Panel-Three)
EXT. ROAD OUTSIDE TOWN - DAY. Garerit eyes focused ahead, looking down the dusty road that leads to the valley town. The once-bustling village is now a backdrop to a growing sense of urgency. The air is thick with dust, the sky darkening with storm clouds as he walks away from his shop.
SB (CAPTION): The road to the valley town winds through the hills and forests, far from the prying eyes of the capital. Garerit knows that it's a dangerous path, but he's driven by something more powerful than fear.
SB (Gerarit - Inner Thought): I'll make it in time. I have to.
(Ch2 Pg4 Panel-Four)
EXT. HILLSIDE - DAY. Garerit walks along a narrow path that hugs the side of a hill, the valley town visible in the distance, surrounded by forest. A few dark shapes, possibly the silhouettes of giants, can be seen on the horizon, barely visible through the trees. The wind picks up, rustling the leaves, as Garerit urges his horse faster, the tension palpable.
SB (CAPTION): The world feels heavy, the weight of the unknown pressing down on him. But there's no turning back now.
SB (Garerit - Inner Thought): Hold on... I'm coming.
1 person likes this
I am thinking of adding some more people to Panel Two or adding a panel.
I like the way you started the page, Gregory Barone (Garerit thinking about what happened on Page 3). And Garerit's Inner Thought ("No time to waste. My family needs me.") really pulled me into the page.
I don't think you need to add more people to Panel 2. You already put "The townsfolk watch him."
If you add a panel, I suggest making sure it's important to the story and you're not adding a panel just to be adding one.
1 person likes this
Gregory, Why not let Preston Poulter check out the first 10 pages of your comic book script on his Discord channal. Every tuesday under ," Preston Promotion" there is a "Comic creator and screenwriter script workshop". You post the first 10 pages under ,"Scriptsonly". They will read all the scripts and comment on them.
1 person likes this
Rutger Oosterhoff I do recall him asking me and I did say yes but he never got back to me on how to do that!
1 person likes this
Maurice Vaughan thanks for the feedback on that, I just thought I'll add the three guy Gareirt made the bet with and a wash maid that shows that he knows people around him. might make a ALT page to show you.
1 person likes this
https://www.stage32.com/lounge/screenwriting/the-Giant-Killer-Script-Ch-...
You're welcome. Gregory Barone. "I just thought I'll add the three guy Gareirt made the bet with and a wash maid that shows that he knows people around him." I think that'd be a great idea if you tie it in with the scene where Gareirt made the bet with the three guys.
1 person likes this
Maurice Vaughan I may have to move that idea to a different part of the story but I could add two of them.