Acting : Monologue Criticism + link by Jessica Devlin

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nice voice , though you sounded so low .

Avoiding a real eye contact, like thinking too much, is a little disheartening for the viewer and the actor. The sentimental scene was wonderful. You took me to the end. Hey! You did great overall!

Your body language was good and your movements once you spoke, were great. Going 37 seconds without speaking -- your audience will move on. You have 8 seconds to capture someone's attention and wow them. Agree with Joseph. Except it looked like you were waiting for someone to turn on the camera. Vocals need to be punched up a lot.

Holy smokes, if that was a fictional account you wrote you have a future in both writing and acting. If it was an expose' call the police and press charges. As a father of 5 daughters that was hard to watch, which again, if it is fiction, is the highest praise. that said I do agree that the topic is accessed too often in fiction I would like to see your abilities applied to other topics. Keep plugging. The 37 seconds was, to my "Dad's eye" completely normal settling of nerves and working up courage before a girl tells something she is having difficulty getting out. If a performance it was . amazing only script comment is fins another phrase for bareback it did seem more like knowledge than a phrase comfortably in the vocabulary of the voice of the rest of the monologue. kudos or extreme compassion, whichever is truly appropriate.

Jessica, Its a great monologue you have recorded and I'd like to congratulate you for that. But I agree to Edward Hayes, its too long before starts to grab attraction or showing shaded of the character. Also, I'd like to suggest a few things if you don't mind. A girl, who has faced this situation would not use the word "fuck", because it is terrible. Instead a silent cry would increase the impact multi-fold. I see you never moved your profile, you can do that sometimes to get more angles showing beauty of the expression. Remember, camera is "eye", now think, how will you do this monologue in front of a person watching you with his "eye". Also you never used your hands, because the victims usually hide their faces wihile crying. I know you need to show the facial expressions so you never hid your face behind your palms, but this is where the minor profile changes can help you. You can "cheat" the viewer, by showing your expressions and also hiding them partially for a second with your palms. The "red-nose" is just wow! Can you not "prepare" the monologue? Just "think" about a situation, not in very details, decide your character and just start talking! It will be all natural! These are just my suggestions, I hope you find them helpful. All the best!

great, take out the fist 34 or 35 seconds and go for it. you might also want to add a little more ebb and flow to the first section, but it's your call.

Nice monologue, good practice video but the video is not ready for prime time. Don't waste people's time. Competition is fierce and you only have one shot. If they don't love you in the first 20 seconds you lost. That's the beauty of Stage32, here you have many chances before you face the real thing. Do the video again and let us see it once more. You have the talent.

Like it, cut dead air time at the start, emotions in the piece did come across, thought i found it a bit predictable. Maybe consider different cadence in voice when expressing what happened, so the event seems genuine. Also body posture seems stiff, not sure who she would be talking to, friend, cop Mother brother etc. Still seems as if your talking to a camera and not a someone. That said So far so good, waitn for the version 2 !!

Well done -- In the first .40 secs if you are not going to give us verbal dialogue then give us emotional dialogue. Maybe give us a sense through some visual queues where you might be taking us. When your character reminisces, take yourself back to that time. Your character took ownership in the decision she made but it didn't come across. Show that emotional range: Ownership Defiance Regret Guilt Acceptance etc... I think you nailed it when the tears began. You took yourself there and you took me there too. Heavy subject matter to tackle in a monologue. You're a good actor. Keep up the great work.

thank you all for your helpful advice! I really really appreciate it- I'll be posting a version 2 soon! haha

We look forward to seeing it. :)

Agree with some comments above. Don't show us your prep. Either edit it out after the fact, or don't start recording until you're ready. Also, your focal point changed from above the camera to directly into the camera. Pick one. However, I am NOT saying that you should look at that focal point continuously. Quite the opposite. I like how natural you are with your eye contact, I just can't tell "who" you're looking at. Also, it is way too long, especially for an agent. 1-2min is the most attention you'll get out of them, so chop it wayyyy down if you're going to use it for that. Last, if you do want to use it to get an agent, then I'd consider new material. I know some of the agents here in the Southeast would be turned off by the content in the beginning, and therefore might stop watching or judge you too quickly.

Very good! I like your accent.

Ditto Matthew.

Wow. So raw and honest. I only hope it's not autobiographical.

My boyfriend calls it heart. You've got it. Get a good coach.

@Rob @Eliza thanks so much guys. will do. Rob, no it isn't. Thank god!

Very happy to hear that, Jessica. And it shows how deeply you can connect emotionally with the material even if (thank god) you didnt live it. Keep posting!

The gathering of yourself up front is fine. One must imagine a question has been asked and you're preparing to answer. The entire performance was commendable. The language was spot on. One would imagine that perhaps some time has passed since the event so some tone with the words like "Fuck" and "Bareback" would work there way into your means to express them...Congratulations. Don't change a thing.