Screenwriting : World building by Rick Hardin

I outline and create my own tech, lingo and rules. This helps with mood and tone for the world.

To elaborate a bit. It’s easy to write in your script “John and Mary walk across Times Square” everyone knows what you’re saying. But If “John and Mary walk across the courtyard of Stratford castle, in 1485” or “John and Mary walk across Lunar City” you need more description. So how far do you go? I would hope the reader would want more information to help them visualize but what’s “normal” these days in scripts? What's acceptable? I know it's all shades of grey, but I'm interested in how others approach this problem.

People already understand 'normal.' Write about the aspects of your new world with minimal reference to 'normal.' Is the vegetation shrouded in webbing or blooming in shades of grey? You can save a lot of work by referencing what the audience already knows. Do people only have black and white TV's, for example? In one screenplay I've used the behavior of the alien wildlife to show how dangerous the planet is.

I once had a computer program for just a World Building, but it crashed because it was so extensive like Film. Then I had experimented with programs for CGI, like the puppet builders use for their video, and simple to program. The answer for something simple, where you use a prop representing many possibilities for your actors set in a wide shot is video.

I usually google images of places and/or things that remind me of the world that I'm building in my head, print those out and tape them on my office walls. So when it comes to describing a setting, I can visually hone in on that specific thing that will convey the setting in the most immediate and efficient manner.

Thanks for all your input and suggestions. I usually don’t have a problem describing my “world” I just worry that I’m taking up too much space with my descriptions. I don’t want to overwhelm the reader but also I want my work to be visual. So I’m struggling with how much is enough? I don’t want to turn off the reader with paragraph after paragraph of description.

The key is brevity. As a rule of thumb I NEVER write more than four lines of action and try to restrain it to two.

What Marvin says. Decide on the essence of what you want to convey in a particular scene and describe it in 2 or 3 sentences. Rick, why don't you put up a sample and we can workshop it?

OK Monique here's a sample from the current rewrite of one of my scripts. I didn't want any dialogue in this series so it may seem more dense then usual. Thanks! Rick EXT. RIVER - NIGHT A long sleek Viking longship glides up a river traveling in and out of a wispy fog clinging to the river. It's ghostly presence augmented by the almost total silence of the ship and its 50 or so crewmen. SUPERIMPOSE: Northern England, 995 INT. VIKING LONGSHIP - CONTINUOUS Fade title Large powerfully built, bearded men quietly pull at the oars. Many have scars evidence of the violent life of warriors. A red haired HELMETED MAN more richly dressed then the others strides down the ship making no noise, his eyes taking in every detail EXT. HILLSIDE - CONTINUOUS OLAF, LAFI and GUNNAR, Viking warriors sprint over the top of the hill running with practiced ease. Gunnar, 35 glances back his 5' long ax is held in calloused hands. Over the hill thunders a group of 20 men giving chase. They are all ages and each carries a weapon more at home on a farm than hunting men. Their movements, uncoordinated and mob-like makes it clear they are not trained warriors. A BOWMAN stops and carefully draws his bow sending an arrow streaking at the three Viking warriors. Some instinct makes Lafi duck as the arrow whizzes past this ear. Olaf. 21 is the only one of the three to carry a sword, Lafi 20, carries a 16" long Seax knife and a small hand ax in his belt. The Bowman looses another arrow hitting Gunnar in the thigh. Without slowing he reaches around and yanks the arrow out, releasing a pulse of blood down his leg. Lafi, Olaf and Gunnar reach a stand of trees well ahead of their pursuers. They risk a stop to look at Gunnar's leg. Gunnar looks stoically on as Lafi quickly dresses the wound. Lafi looks questionably at Gunnar's who nods and thrusts his chin to the path ahead. Without a word the three race on. EXT. RIVER - CONTINUOUS The Viking longship slides to a stop under the cover of a willow tree. A group of 8 men including the Helmeted Man gather on shore armed with shields and weapons. The other crewmen remain at their rowing benches ready to get underway. EXT. HILLSIDE - CONTINUOUS Lafi, Olaf and Gunnar exit the stand of trees at a run. Gunnar's stride now has a noticeable limp to it. The local men burst from the trees. A few paces head the Bowman shots an arrow grazing Lafi's arm drawing long line of blood. The three Vikings enter another stand of trees. Lafi then Olaf easily leap a log blocking the way but Gunnar's foot catches sending him sprawling. Lafi and Olaf return to help him. Alone, the Bowman races into view and releases an arrow. It strikes Olaf high in the back pitching him down an embankment. Lafi and Gunnar wheel around. The bowman quickly draws another arrow but fear hampers his movements. In a flash Lafi pulls his ax from his belt and throws it. The ax flies true and first cutting the bowstring then embeds itself into the chest of the bowman who crumbles from the blow. Lafi turns to Olaf taking a hesitant step toward the unmoving man. Noises from the other pursuers grow closer. Gunnar gently pulls Lafi’s arm. Lafi gravely nods to his fallen friend and turns to follow Gunnar down the path.

Thanks for sharing, Rick. This was fun. I reworked just the first 3 slugs to give one way of reworking the details. The trick is to show enough without getting bogged down in unnecessary details - let the reader's imagination fill in the rest - and to omit the details that don't matter. EXT. RIVER –NIGHT Dense fog clings to the river. A sleek Viking longship silently breaks through the fog like a ghost. SUPER: Northern England, 995 INT. VIKING LONGSHIP – CONT. A HELMETED COXSWAIN strides down the length of the boat as he looks over— ROWERS – powerfully built, bearded, torsos covered in scars – quietly pull at the oars in practiced unison. EXT. HILLSIDE - NIGHT Three figures dressed in Viking warrior garb, sprint over the crest of a hill. OLAF (21) and LAFI (age?) grin at each other. GUNNAR (35), long ax grasped in one hand, glances over his shoulder as— A group of PURSUERS thunders after them in close pursuit. Unlike the Vikings, this group is mob-like with makeshift weapons, more at home on a farm than on a battle field. One of the pursuers stops, notches an arrow, pulls back and lets it loose— VIKINGS Instinctively, Lafi ducks as the arrow whizzes past his head. PURSUERS The bowman aims again— VIKINGS --this time, the arrow finds its mark as it lodges in Gunnar’s hamstring. Without missing a step, he grabs the arrow shaft and yanks it out. Blood streams down his leg. Olaf silently points towards a strand of trees. STRAND OF TREES The three crash through the underbrush. Behind a tree, Lafi rips off a strip off his undershirt and quickly dresses Gunnar’s wound as Olaf stands watch. Gunnar winces stoically as Lafi tightly ties the bandage. OLAF (hisses) – Hurry! Gunnar tests the field dressing, nods. The three slip quietly into the woods.

Thanks Monique! I put your version into Final Draft and it takes up just a bit more page length but it's much less dense. Thanks for the input!