Screenwriting : Loglines by Steven A. Miller

"My main character_______is trying to accomplish ________, but _________ is getting in his way." Try filling in the__________'s and see what you come up with. ~t

Thank you, Travis.

A good rule of thumb is to identify the protagonist, antagonist, obstacles, goals, stakes, irony and clear story genre. And try to do all that in thirty words or less.

I don't understand the difficulty that people seem to have with loglines.

No problem Steven, just trying to uncomplicated the process a little and get you to think on the core level of your concept that made you excited about writing it in the first place. do a search like "constructing loglines" and any credible source will say there are three elements you must have: - the protagonist - their goal - the antagonist/antagonistic force It's the core of your screenplay, why wouldn't be the core of your logline? Best of luck. ~t

Long blank lines or long white lines? ;)

IMHO Travis's template is a bit out of order. Usually it's the antagonist who kicks off the story, and the hero reacts to that. More like: An INTERESTING HERO encounters a FORCE OF ANTAGONISM and MUST DO SOMETHING or else HAVE TERRIBLE CONSEQUENCES. (The consequences may be optional if it's obvious.) "A water-phobic police chief finds his community under attack by a killer shark and must go to sea in order to defeat the monster." "A smart-aleck cop finds himself in a building under assault by terrorists and must fight a dozen well-armed men to save the fifty hostages, including his estranged wife."

IMHO it was meant as a prompt (not a template) to help Steven get to the core of his story without being overly complicated. It could be expanded in any order as he sees fit to express HIS vision. "Sheriff Brody (protagonist) wants his town to be safe (goal) but some big ass shark (antagonist) starts eating people." or "A big ass shark (antagonist) wants to eat some people (goal), but Sheriff Brody (protagonist) blows the big ass shark to pieces. "John McLane (protagonist) wants to be with his wife (goal), but Hans Gruber and his merry band of terrorists (antagonists) take everybody hostage and steal shit." or " Hans Gruber and his merry band of terrorists (antagonists) want to take everybody hostage and steal shit (goal), but John McLane (protagonist) kicks their asses." IMHO ~t

INHO does not equate to humility :)

Well, you Could have taken my Stage32 Webinar on loglines 2 weeks ago... seems to have helped everyone else Hehe. but here is my basic core template that you obv have to make pop with your own details and hook... When THIS happens, THIS (adjective/profession) person must VERB THIS before (or else) THIS will occur.

Who is the main character? What is their goal? And what is their obstacle?

What Danny said, and focus on the amazing concept.

Here's a link to a very handy logline how-to with tons of examples from different genres of scripts: http://twoadverbs.site.aplus.net/logline.pdf Sometimes it really helps to get into logline mindsets by going through numerous examples.

Travis, I hear you, but I stand my original post. Protagonist/goal/obstacle is insufficient. Your story is about the ACTION the protagonist must take. That has to be in the logline. IMO. :)

Remember to include the genre in the logline. Good luck!

no!!! who is the idiot teaching people to write their genre in their loglines ?? this is NOT what you're supposed to do!! your loglines should inherently tell us your genre!

Danny: I'm the idiot that mentioned it. But not in the context of saying "This is a an action film" or "A sci-fi thriller". I meant it in the context of people should understand that if Martians are invading Anytown USA that the reader should have a clear picture of what the genre is. I thought I illustrated a good example of one of my loglines in my post. But I agree, it should be inherent.

well if you use the word 'aliens' then that will inform us that it's a sci-fi.

unless you're writing a romcom. alien meets girl, alien falls in lovewith girl, alien loses girl, alien and girl live happily ever after. now i have an idea for a new story lol.

Sounds good to me

Of course you include the genre. An alien movie could be a comedy. Or a rom-com. Or a western. A busy person reading hundreds of loglines a day wants to know the genre up front, not to have to divine it from words like "alien." And don't call people "idiots." It's idiotic.

Kent: When I submit material I normally will provide title, genre and the logline separately. And you're right. Some folks are a little free with the name calling around here. I think it’s part of the typing without thinking syndrome.

Kent who the hell called anyone an idiot? I have NEVER seen genre in a logline and why are you being so defensive?

I'm just a newbie but I think loglines suck. Too short to possibly show what you did or can do. Sorry.

Alle: WTF? I have no idea what you're even talking about. Additionally, your post is like a novel; and if I want to read a novel of the Great Gatsby.

implying is different from stating.

Keep in mind your Logline is something that marketing and sales people will require to sell your film for distribution. It's just the way it is. Also note that your logline is generally not hanging out there all by itself. Its comes with the things like: the Title, the tag line, or a poster, and/or the synopsis, or even the trailer.. So generally it doesn't stand alone, it just give everyone sales, audience, and even the wrtier, a simple quick overview of the stroy

What about a logline that emphasizes on the themes of a story? And in so doing, tries to put a mythological feel to it. I have to say, I do not really appreciate the formulaic aspect of logline today... I tend to be bored by it....

Also keep in mind that the log line a writer writes is not the one distributors will use. The distributor will hire an advertising agency that will generate a log line for marketing purposes. For the spec script the log line written by the writer is only to get interest from an agent or prodCo. and even then, the reader will generate a log line to give to the boss.

I understand that aspect as well. But it doesn't mean you have to follow that specific rule if you think you have something interesting to show around, that could potentially wake up curiosity.

What D MArcus said: In fact your Title, logline, tag line, even the synopsis and story will probably change from your initial script delivery to final delivery for distribution...

Thanks Georgia, of course. A script is not set in stone. I understand that aspect of the trade.

I want to thank all of you for your insight, assistance, and comments. I will try to put them to good use when writing, re-writing, and re-working my loglines now and in the future.

Cherie: my comment was not directed at you, but I can see how you might think that, since we both used "aliens" as an example.

@Alle. I'll concede the point, though I'm not sure those are great examples. Usually, whatever your hero happens to be doing early in the story -- becoming a mutant man/spider hybrid, whatever -- the story's central conflict kicks in when the antagonists show up. In your Spider-Man logline, for example, you obscure that by reversing the order of events. "fight evil as a superhero AFTER tragedy befalls his family". I haven't seen Wolverine, but if what kicks off the story is his summons to Japan, does that summons not have a direct causal relationship to the actions of the antagonist(s)? That said, you're right: there are plenty of stories where the actions of the protagonists kick things off. However, by the second act, the hero is in conflict with the antagonist, and the actions they take in that conflict are what the story is about. I made my statement -- too broadly -- in pushing the idea that the logline needs to be about ACTION. And your loglines do that, so at least on that point we see eye to eye. But, again, on the subject of antagonists always kicking off the story, you were right, I overstated the case.

http://www.writersstore.com/writing-loglines-that-sell/

Janet if you look at the other Logline webinars listed on that page, youll notice who gave them.... hint hint... its me. ;-)

Big grin.... thank you kindly...

Every movie on IMDB has a logline listed. They are not all great, but they are a great starting point.

I will read anything that helps..... thank you guys....

Sometimes, as a writer, it's hard to quite nail down the essence of a story or the primary conflict in it. I've found it helps to personify that. Meaning, when writing the logline I try to do it in the voice of my main character, describing the story in their own mind. For example I wrote a novel and screenplay adaptation of it about the rise and fall of a pop star. My logline from his perspective was: 'Thrill the world. Live the dream. Lose your soul.', which is pretty much what happens to him over the course of the story. Another about a corrupt music journalist went: 'It's about Truth. And rock journalism.', in the generally sardonic voice of the character. If I do this I generally find I get something more lively - hope it helps.

Edward, those would look good on the poster, but I don't think they're what a producer/agent/manager is looking for when they ask for a logline.

(replying to Kerry Douglas Dye) Neither do I! That's why Aaron Sorkin is so much more successful than meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...

Have to respectfully disagree with my buddy Danny Manus. I believe you should always lead your logline with the genre, to better orient the reader/listener. "It's a comedy about..." "It's a sci-fi action story about..." And at the risk of a little shameless personal plug, check out the article on How to Write Killer Loglines I wrote for the book "Now Write! Screenwriting" for step-by-step instructions on how to construct a great logline.

Hello steven, The theory : "When A (catalyst) occurs, B (flawed protagonist) faces C (central crisis, antagonist) and decides to do D (choice that will power the action) in order to accomplish X (central goal of the narrative) before Y (time limit) or else Z (consequences/stakes)" The practice: I'm able to write terrific loglines for anybody... excepted me! You can make helpful annoying exercises here : www.­logline.­it (++)

...but that leaves out the essential 'Z-Omega' part, when the kid-genius/quiet girl/miscellaneously marginal/otherwise ignored and despised character with almost no part up 'til then pipes up with a rousing speech or pertinent insight no one else has thought of that revolutionises the crisis they collectively face and brings them all together...(taken from the missing reel in PLANET TERROR)...doens't it?!

Hello Steven, A lot of good stuff was said above. IMHO, the most important are : 1. Your logline + title is your best and unique selling material so, 2. You must deliver specific information thru it, some explicitly and some implicitly. 3. The shorter the better, so the more implicit the better. 4. Explicitly: all that cannot be implicit = generally everything relevant to the plot: the flawed hero, the crisis, the antagonist, the stake, the high concept... 5. Implicitly: everything else that is of interest for your target (aka potential buyer): the main characters’ arcs, the genre(s), the type (story/character driven), the target (audience), the cost level, everything that makes your story marketable... and a hook (humor, fear, reverie...) Standard loglines don’t ever match with specific genres, e.g. chronicle because most of chronicles are not about transformation (e.g. AMARCORD, Oscar winner of best foreighn language film and nominated for best screenplay, 1976). Here are two loglines by Alfred Hitchcock and one by Federico Fellini that (I think) are very good examples: THE BIRDS: “Acting in concert, birds start attacking people for no apparent reason” (11 words) FAMILY PLOT (1976): “A bogus spiritualist and an amateur actor hope to con a wealthy woman out of $10,000 by locating her sole heir — a nephew given up for adoption under shady circumstances — but find they are in deep water as the nephew turns out to be a kidnapper who’d rather not be found” (51 words) AMARCORD (chronicle): “One year in the life of an Italian teenager and the small town he lives in on the Adriatic coast during the fascist period” (24 words, not genuine. “AMARCORD” means “I remember”) Hope to be helpful. Please excuse my possible mistakes because English is not my native language.

A shorter logline for FAMILY PLOT could be "Two misfits hoping to wangle $10,000 from a wealthy lady by locating her sole heir find they fell in deep water when discovering he’s a kidnapper who’d rather not be found” (30 words but not sure Hitchcock's humor still remains)

i like the way you have explained it with examples.

Or howabout the original pitch for ALIEN which I think works as a logline all on its own in three words: 'JAWS in space'. Concision to the max!

Hi Edward, IMHO it's a good pitch/tagline, but this just informs us about two things: the genre and the "in the vein of". All the rest is missing.

Too bad ALIEN was such a flop...

...PROMETHEUS was abysmal too, don't know the tagline for that one. 'Creepy White Tall Guys Take Over The Alien Ship' mebbe...

Uh-uh, I'm not sure many spectators read Alien's logline before entering theaters but I'm sure Prod's and Studio's execs read it before reading the screenplay and decide if they would make the movie.

To clear some things up... Alien was sold in the room as a pitch before the script was ever finished. The pitch was - It's Jaws in Space. Sold. Million dollar check written. thats all you needed in the 80s & 90s. you need much more than that now. But the reason those 4 words worked is because it gives you everything you need to know. genre, tone, setting, tells you there's going to be a hero who battles a Creature, it gives you conflict, it gives you the hook that makes it different than Jaws, and it gives the idea box office context. that's why it worked.

Authentic! Moreover, here is the full transcript of the Pitching session Dan O'Banonn and Ron Shusset had with Walter Hil and David Giller: "INT. BRANDIWYNE PRODS - DAY WH - Hi Guys, Bob Hope said you have something interesting for us. DO' - Yes, it's a groovy thing. Literally, it's "Jaws in Space". DG - Awesome! I can see it: A space monster prowling just around the Earth and wrecking the Skylab, Mir Station and all the vessels that NASA and the Russians send in aid. WH - Yeah, yeah! The USSR and the U.S. passing the buck and this could trigger World War 3. RS - Uh ... DG No. This looks too much like "We Only Live Twice" WH - OK. Good. We'll read the synopsis. Do you brought the synopsis? DO' - Nope, it’s being written. WH - The logline? RS - The what? DG - Good! It doesn’t matter. That's great anyway. WH - We are very interested. How much? DO' - (attempt) Uh ... one million dollars? WH - (To DG) Your opinion? DG - Is there a cat in your story? Because I love cats. DO' - Yeah, just ... DG - (slaps him on the back) Great! Done Deal. Goodbye guys. INT. BRANDIWYNE PRODS, DG OFFICE - DAY DG is on the phone with the 20th Century Fox: DG - Yep! A great thing. Literally "Jaws in Space". It’s about a monstrous space catfish prowling around the Earth and that smashes the Skylab, Mir and everything we send it."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alien_(film)#Development

imagine you're in a lift with an exec' you've only got 15 seconds, between floors, to describe the movie-What do you say? That's your log line- I THINK, if it doesn't sound right, just keep trying things out till something 'clicks' I'm NOT successful (Yet) so I could be talking rubbish!

Ha. ha ha! "Only in Hollywood?"

Oh, I'd love to be in Hollywood- I think, rather than cold, wet Melbourne :)

I think kissing in elevators should be obligatory. I ALWAYS have a card, even at the beach, but I do like to get my pitch, pitch perfect. I may never use it, but if it's required, I like to know I've got it tucked away in the back of my head, otherwise I just end up sounding like Hugh Grant in four weddings.

It's easy to write a logline, but more challenging to write a crisp, concise one that tells your story.

Maybe...just don't kill it while you are trying to sell it?