Happy Friday Stage 32er's! I hope everyone is writing their way to success! I wanted to thank Joey Tuccio for his work and dedication in helping us screenwriters inprove our skills and to get noticed by industry executives and leaders. Joey goes above the call of duty at times and deserves mroe credit than he is given. He has helped me understand I need to go "balls to the wall" when it comes to describing and pitching my first TV Pilot concept so those I am pitching to can connect with the concept and characters. I have held back on the truth of the story and holding back has cost me script requests. My advice is to leave nothing a secret. Make your full story and concept heard so others can feel the emotional connection you the writer feels. I have reworked this logline so much but with Joey's help, I think it is my best one yet! Opinions on it anyone?? TITLE: Project:Hero GENRE: Sci-fi/action LOGLINE: After developing & struggling with uncontrollable super powers, a bullied underdog college student uncovers his Roswell UFO origin to become the only person who can prevent the extinction of the human race.
Screenwriting : Thank You Joey/Reworked Pitch & Logline by David Levy
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It's a very great...but in my humble opinion, I feel the logline is voluminous. it should rather be short and conveying than you put it up there.. See Sample: "An underdog student being the only one who can prevent the extinction of the human race uncovers the origin of a UFO." A logline most times contain the protagonist, the goal of the protagonist and finally the antagonist or antagonist force as the case of the story might be. In your story: your protagonist is the student, the goal is to prevent the extinction of the human race and the UFO is the antagonist force. I don't know if i am of help. best wishes.
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I'm sorry Jerry, but I think the original logline is stronger than your suggestion. Yours takes our the HOOK of the project. in yours, its a simple action- a Guy finds a UFO. So what? what makes him special? Where's the conflict driving the series? The original logline gets that across. So, I think he should stick with the original.
Thanks Danny. I have been pitching a lot and been failing to have the managers/execs connect with my story. I have a solid concept but have been leaving out a lot of what makes the story and concept unique. I am frustrated with myself for leaving out such information and feel I have wasted great pitch opportunities. I just want others to feel the connection to the story I do and want to read the script.
Thanks Joey! I really owe it to you and the exec I pitched to at Morgan Creek. I was holding back on the core strength of the story. I focused on the wrong "core" to highlight. We all need to crawl before we can walk. It has been the best learning experience so far and the support staff I have from you, the Happy Writers, and Stage 32 is what someone just starting out who wants to succeed and follow their entertainment dreams needs. Sometimes I know I can not get in the front door, so why not try the ceiling?
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Now if only Morgan Creek could get a movie made in the last 5 years...
David, how is it that you are able to get help from Joey? Is there a class or one on one available? I have a Sci-fi/ comedy feature I'd like some fresh eyes on.
Joey offers pitch prep help before pitches and needed it to better pitch my concept. It is part of Step 1 when scheduling a pitch session. Or there is one available on the Coverage page.
Thanks for the info!