Yes, this is a short, but log lines should make one vested on the outset. One or two sentences with at least who and what. While thrillers are not my thing, I didn't get thriller from the screen play. Id say great start but needs something.

It's an old one from back in 2004 - My first ever screenplay in fact! I've not put too much thought into the logline because I didn't know about loglines back then - I wrote it to enter into a BBC writers room thing back in the day. I'm still unsure of the genre myself. Is creepy drama a genre? it should be!

Kudos on the first screenplay, hope it did well. I'm just looking to expand my reach right now, exposure and such