THE STAGE 32 LOGLINES

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UNACCOUNTED FOR
By David Michael Kelly

GENRE: Film-noir, Crime
LOGLINE:

"There is a mass killer, stalking the streets of Los Angeles, targeting it's most vulnerable residents. A young homeless man, in the throes of addiction, a crime scene investigator, desperate to make a difference, and an orphaned, unhoused, six year old girl, will all find themselves wrapped within the systematic terror and violence that most of society simply does not account for."

SYNOPSIS:

Series Synopsis:

After a brutal opening, showing our hooded, and faceless killer attacking a helpless woman, and leaving a trail of bodies in his wake, we follow Harrison, our lead, who is once again in his home town of Los Angeles, after losing the last of his family, and home. He is jaded, and resistant to the idea that life can be much different, yet carrying a newly attained wisdom for the value of peace and self preservation, by means of "accounting for what others aint" as advised by his now deceased cell-mate, former Black Panther "Doc". The audience will not be told directly that Harrison is getting out of prison, or that he was in prison for a domestic violence charge, only given the clue of his allusion to "gate money". In truth, Harrison served five years for assaulting his ex-wife at her own crime scene, after she had left their one year old daughter in the car to get high, resulting in the child's death. Upon arriving to the scene, he attacks his wife, in full view of the responding officers. Due to a previous record, a messy yet brief trial, and also some sympathy of the court, Harrison was sentenced to five years imprisonment, with no possibility of parole, and no access to support networks for recently released inmates.

Harrison falls back into the use and sale of opiates, with the help of his childhood friend, and long time drug dealer Mateo. Harrison learns that his former friend and now employer has recently lost his wife Megan, and is also homeless with their six year old daughter, Marla. Mateo plans to take his child and leave to Washington with aimless ambition for a better life.

Our Co-lead, Charlene, is a sergeant crime scene investigator who has newly been transferred to the LAPD, and is reviewing security tape footage of the hooded killer, whos face was not caught on camera the night before. Charlene is particularly interested in the style of attack, eager to connect it to any of the cities other scores of unsolved murders of homeless people that year. Her superior officer, homicide detective Jacobson, notifies her that the case from last night has been declared solved and dismisses security footage of the faceless man, believing it to have been one of the bodies found at the scene. Charlene feels legitimate concerns are being ignored, but is outranked in the matter.

That night, while Harrison attempts to get comfortable in his new community. He is trying to teach Marla how to shoot a basketball into an empty trash can, filming the activity so Marla may show her father, when Mateo's tent is attacked and Mateo is killed by the hooded man. The hooded killer takes not only several more lives, but takes from the tent a suitcase, with vast amounts of cash falling out of it, before the hooded killer can complete his escape. Harrison is left as the only source of comfort to this now orphaned child, who the responding police are not yet even aware of. Harrison was able to catch a video of the attack, showing the killer, that again, unfortunately does not show his face. The homicide investigators do not take Harrisons video seriously as it did not show a weapon or the direct action of murder. Harrison does manage to meet Charlene at the crime scene who is collecting evidence. Harrison explains that one of the victims was his friend, but does not tell Charlene about Marla, out of fear of Marla being put into the foster system. Charlene is shocked to not only see more video evidence, but to hear that her superiors again ignored it. Harrison sends his video to Charlene, who agrees to stay in contact with him

Harrison believes that passing Marla off into the foster system will guarantee her to a life of abuse and neglect. He believes if he can take her to find her mother or any extended family, Marla might still have a chance, and that this act may help to redeem the loss of his own daughter. The two have a rough time leaving skid row, and looking for other shelter, eventually being cornered in a public park and Harrison being forced to give his jacket to a gang of thugs. Having successfully hidden the pay-card containing his gate money, he spends the last of it to get a room for the night, providing the only comfort he can to the terrified Marla. Harrison resolves to make contact with Mateo's supplier, their mutual friend Doug. He hasn't seen Doug since before he was sent to jail, and knows Doug is highly unstable, and deeply involved with much a more ruthless class of drug dealer. He believes Doug will have some answer as to why Mateo not only had so much cash, but who would possibly know that he had it, and if that was their only reason for killing him. The thugs who had robbed Harrison that night come upon the Hooded Killer, believing he is another target to steal from, they confront him, but are quickly done away with in brutal fashion. As the killer takes Harrison's jacket off the dead thief's body, he reveals a cell phone picture of Harrison, showing that the killer is now actively targeting him.

The series would then go on to follow primarily Harrison and Charlene, as Harrison tracks Mateo's former associates, and Charlene investigates Megan and Mateo's arrest records.

Tentative plans for the series would show Marla also reveal new bits of information as Harrison earns her trust. Upon sharing their findings after both discovering several inconsistencies, and several more continued attacks, Charlene and Harrison would begin an unlikely romance, leading Charlene to learn about Marla, and even take care of the orphaned child herself, against her better judgement. When Charlene learns of Harrison's past conviction for domestic violence, she would turn away from helping him, opting to contact child services, to both care for Marla, and to circumvent her own department knowing she'd been working this theory with a non-authorized criminal informant. Desperate to escape the peril, Harrison firmly confronts the guilt ridden Doug, who reveals that he'd been asked to find out where Marla was, but that he now knows that if he were to find her, she'd be taken back to her mother. Doug then explains that Megan helps her "boyfriend" traffic young girls for prostitution, and that her "boyfriend" is Doug's boss. He then explains that this man decides who in this region of Los Angeles is aloud to sell drugs, and is also cutting the drug supply with fentanyl, in increasingly large quantities. Doug tells him that he believes his boss is a cop, and that he knows this cop is the father of Megan's child. He goes on to explain that Mateo found out that this cop had been sleeping with his wife and selling her body, and that Mateo was going to take his and Doug's "re-up" money, leave the state, putting Marla in an orphanage far away from where her mother and father would have access to her. Doug says he knows that his boss will do anything to cover evidence, even if that evidence is a child's very existence, and that he cannot bare the weight of helping someone do that.

Tasha Lewis

Rated this logline

Abel Nelson

Rated this logline

Maurice Vaughan

Great title and interesting concept, David Michael Kelly!

I think your logline needs to be tightened up. Here’s a logline template that might help:

“After/when ______ (the inciting incident/the event that sets the plot in motion), a _______ (the main flaw that the main character has to overcome in the script or an adjective that describes the main character’s personality) _______ (the main character’s position/job/career) tries to/attempts to/fights to/struggles to/strives to/sets out to/fights/battles/engages in/competes/etc. _______ (goal of story and try to add the obstacles here) to/so/in order to ________ (stakes).”

The inciting incident can also be at the end of the logline: “A _______ (the main flaw that the main character has to overcome in the script or an adjective that describes the main character’s personality) _______ (the main character’s position/job/career) tries to/attempts to/fights to/struggles to/strives to/sets out to/fights/battles/engages in/competes/etc. _______ (goal of story and try to add the obstacles here) to/so/in order to ________ (stakes) after/when ______ (the inciting incident/the event that sets the plot in motion).”

And Christopher Lockhart has a great webinar on loglines. It’s called “How To Make Your Logline Attractive to A-List Actors, Producers, Directors, Managers, Agents, Financiers and Development Execs” (www.stage32.com/webinars/How-To-Make-Your-Logline-Attractive-to-A-List-A...).

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