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A TIME TO FORGET
By Ed Silva
A CIA agent turns rogue when she’s unjustly accused of murder.
SYNOPSIS:
SCARLETT de Santis is in trouble. She and her friend ADRIANNA have checked into a hotel in Santa Monica, hiding from the rest of the world. The two of them are efficient, careful, worried. They should be -- They’re working for the C.I.A. SCARLETT’S been accused of murder. And a relentless C.I.A agent named MAURICE is asking around and trying to find them.
MAURICE gets a lead. SCARLETT’S a step ahead of him, though. She grabs ADRIANNA and gets her into the SUV just in time for a daring, breathtaking chase through Los Angeles. MAURICE is ferocious. SCARLETT gets the edge on him, makes it to the end of a bridge. New plan. With their cover blown, SCARLETT needs to get to a safe friend in Palm Springs — CRACK! A gunshot strikes ADRIANNA. The SUV plummets off the bridge. In the Los Angeles river, SCARLETT desperately struggles to help ADRIANNA. It’s too late. She’s dead.
In a building across the city, agents are killed over documents pertaining to the U.S number one terrorist. At the C.I.A, Vice Director ANDREY and Operations Head LEXY don’t see eye to eye. They both want SCARLETT captured. A bystander has been assassinated, and SCARLETT is the main suspect.
Why? SCARLETT was part of a four-person team who was actively searching for the terrorist. But not everyone wants him captured or dead.
SCARLETT heads to Palm Springs to see the third team member, MAXX, but he’s just a paperwork guy. He folded under questioning and told everyone SCARLETT was the shooter. He also triggers a silent alarm. They fight. It’s brutal. SNAP! She twists his neck. He’s dead by the time the sirens get close. SCARLETT barely escapes.
LEXY and ANDREY are closing in. So is MAURICE. LEXY calls in the fourth member of the old team, VITTORIA. SCARLETT takes the bait. In downtown Palm Springs, SCARLETT calls VITTORIA and arranges a meeting alone. VITTORIA let her know that the CIA is after her because her DNA was found at a crime scene in Los Angeles.
Things happen fast. SCARLETT uncovers the reality of what happened, bit by bit, flashback by flashback. She’d been using a manipulative earpiece device the night of the murder. This is when SCARLETT find out there is a secret plan to use malfunctioning ear devices to mind control CIA operatives. That kind of info is political dynamite. And who made it happen? LEXY. It was her all along, plotting and scheming to protect her step son. The terrorist SCARLETT wanted to kill. SCARLETT flees, pursued by MAURICE, in one great car chases.
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I like the title, Ed Silva. And cool name for a character (Maurice). :)
I think your logline needs more information. You only have the protagonist and the inciting incident.
Here’s a logline template that might help:
“After ______ (the inciting incident/the event that sets the plot in motion), a _______ (an adjective and the protagonist's position/role) tries to _______ (goal of story) so ________ (stakes).”
Loglines are one or two sentences (a one-sentence logline sounds better and it takes less time for a producer, director, etc. to read it). You can add the antagonist in the logline. The inciting incident can also be at the end of the logline.
Avoid using names in a logline (unless it's a Biopic or a famous story -- like a fairy tale). Use an adjective and the protagonist's position/role instead of a name.
Avoid using “must” in loglines because “must” sounds like the protagonist is forced to do whatever the goal of the story is (instead of the protagonist doing it willingly), and “must” doesn’t sound active. Audrey Knox (a TV literary manager) also said this during a logline review webinar on Stage 32 (https://www.stage32.com/webinars/The-Write-Now-Challenge-The-Logline-Rev...). Instead of using “must,” use “attempts to,” “fights to,” “struggles to,” “strives to,” “sets out to,” “fights,” “battles,” “engages in,” “participates,” “competes,” etc.
Example #1:
“After a group of dog criminals arrives in a small town, an impulsive dog sheriff defends a dog treat factory so they won’t steal food that’s meant for hungry dog families.”
Example #2:
“A dysfunctional couple works together to survive against bears after they crash on an abandoned road miles from help.”
NOTE: Not all stories will follow this logline template. Biopics, documentaries, and Experimental scripts might not follow this template. The overall logline for a TV show might not follow this template, but the logline for an episode in the show could.
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