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Tom Hill, his mother Sage, and her lover Alecia, are unwittingly thrust into a battle to save the known multiverse from being overrun by the mysterious Ms. Vin and her merciless minions. They travel the five habitable Earths looking for allies while trying to keep alien weapons and drugs from flooding the streets of Chicago.
SYNOPSIS:
A wealthy business man dresses up in a battle suit to combat crime in Chicago but finds himself out of his depth when his company discovers the multiverse. Aided by his longtime associate, Arumar Singh, and a meta-human named Sassy, they must find allies on alien Earths to defeat a multi-dimensional villain known only as Ms. Vin.
The multiverse in this story is based on the computations done by Hugh Everett, III which posit that the multiverse began at the big bang and there are no mirror images of any individuals.
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I like the title and mashup picture, Bill McCormick. I think your logline needs more info (like who the main character is, who they have to save the multiverse from, and what happens if they don't save the multiverse). Here’s a logline template that might help:
“After/when ______ (the inciting incident/the event that sets the plot in motion), a _______ _______ (an adjective that describes the main character’s personality and the main character’s position/job/career) tries to/attempts to/fights to/struggles to/strives to/sets out to/fights/battles/engages in/participates/competes/etc. _______ (goal of story and try to add the obstacles here) so/in order to ________ (stakes).”
The inciting incident can also be at the end of the logline: “A _______ _______ (an adjective that describes the main character’s personality and the main character’s position/job/career) tries to/attempts to/fights to/struggles to/strives to/sets out to/fights/battles/engages in/participates/competes/etc. _______ (goal of story and try to add the obstacles here) so/in order to ________ (stakes) after/when ______ (the inciting incident/the event that sets the plot in motion).”
And Christopher Lockhart has a great webinar on loglines. It’s called “How To Make Your Logline Attractive to A-List Actors, Producers, Directors, Managers, Agents, Financiers and Development Execs” (www.stage32.com/webinars/How-To-Make-Your-Logline-Attractive-to-A-List-A...).
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Maurice Vaughan thanks for this.
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Maurice Vaughan, Bobby G, try this. I appreciate your constructive critiques.
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You're welcome, Bill McCormick.