I like this, Thomas Moore! It's a fish-out-of-water, time travel Dramedy.

I think your logline needs some work. Here’s a logline suggestion: “After five modern-day friends and a host of other people visit the Titanic Museum in Belfast, they’re transported onto the Titanic in 1912 where they try to/attempt to/etc. _______ (goal of story) so/in order to ________ (stakes).”

The story goal and stakes could be them trying to get back home so they won’t be stuck in 1912.

I really like this as is, but I'm with Maurice that it could use a slight tweaking. Maybe shorten everything before they're transported, and then I definitely need some sort of stakes (like WHY do they need to change their fates and is that more important than getting back to 2026? or are the fate and getting back to 2026 the same). I hope this helps! It sounds like a really fun script!

Love the premise. Logline needs some tightening but this sounds like a fun plot. I'd definitely watch this!

This sounds like a fun and comedic story. However, like everyone else here, I think it definitely needs to be shortened. Defining the stakes would help your logline too. Otherwise, this is gold!

Emily J I've shortened it and changed it to doom which I think is more direct and explanatory if you know the story of the Titanic.

Leonardo Ramirez Marcel Nault Jr. I've made some changes, what do you think?

A comedy made of a tragedy where 1500 people died awful watery deaths doesn't sound all that appealing. Is there a time machine in the museum.

Despite that, the log needs a lot of work. Stakes, central conflict. Thus the score.

It's not a comedy made of the tragedy. It's a set of modern day people put in the same situation. It is in no way diminishing the loss of those people in reality and, while it is mainly a comedy, there are serious emotions in the screenplay, regarding the doom the characters face.

Philo Kvetch

Thomas Moore There is an improvement here as far as the stakes go.

Then again, I understand Philo's point of view. There might be some sensitivity issues here. Still though, the main idea is good and it can work in a comedy series. Just perhaps not the Titanic, but another well-known voyage in modern history? One that hasn't known a tragedy as important as the Titanic's sinking?

Marcel Nault Jr. I have to say I disagree completely about the sensitivity. And changing the ship would change the story completely. If I chose another ship that never sunk, the story simply wouldn't happen. The screenplay doesn't make light of the fact that the Titanic sinking is a tragedy. And, if you want, I can send you a detail of the script privately that might make you think differently. Not saying it will, but it might.

Thomas Moore If you want to, sure. I'm open to reading your script.

I'd be keen on reading it...

Thomas Moore Hey Thomas! It's looking good! I would consider adding a general example of what the "impending doom" is. You don't have to be too specific but something that would raise the stakes would be good. You're definitely on your way and doing great! And I would agree with some that this is not insensitive at all. Don't let that discourage you at all. Keep going!