I like the concept, Joe Manning. I think your logline needs more information. A logline is a selling tool, so you don't want to be vague or hold back information.

Here's a logline template that might help:

“After/when ______ (the inciting incident/the event that sets the plot in motion), a _______ (an adjective and the protagonist's position/role) tries to/attempts to/fights to/struggles to/strives to/sets out to/fights/battles/engages in/participates/competes/etc. _______ (goal of story) so/in order to ________ (stakes).”

The inciting incident can also be at the end of the logline: “A _______ (an adjective and the protagonist's position/role) tries to/attempts to/fights to/struggles to/strives to/sets out to/fights/battles/engages in/participates/competes/etc. _______ (goal of story) so/in order to ________ (stakes) after/when ______ (the inciting incident/the event that sets the plot in motion).”

Thanks Maurice, because it's a short film, and I don't want to say exactly what happens all in a logline, which I can so others can just take it and run with it before I finish the story. I will add a little more to the logline. I appreciate your help though, thank you

You're welcome, Joe Manning. Are you gonna make this short film yourself?

Yeah when I have the funds available to support myself, the film, other creative projects, some cast and crew, with a dedicated: Producer, D.P, 1st A.D & SFX Make-Up Artist(s) available - attached - who won't bail - and remain involved for the interim until wrapping of ALL production. Then I will start. Until then, it will be on paper. Like the rest of my ideas