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A shy, young woman moves into a grungy apartment, only to be stalked by something floating outside her sixth-floor window.
SYNOPSIS:
A young woman, DANNI, moves into a grungy apartment and discovers all the windows have be covered-over with newspapers. The newspapers have magical symbols scrawled over them.
After talking to her new neighbour, RYAN, the two decide to remove all the newspapers and clean the windows so she can enjoy the view of the city lights. While both are aware of the symbols, neither of them place any importance on the markings.
A couple of days after cleaning the windows, Danni is woken by a thunderstorm. She sees the DARK SHADOW as a silhouette against the lights of the city. She immediately calls Ryan and begs him to come over to see it. However, the Dark Shadow is gone by the time he arrives.
In the morning, Danni discovers scratches on the outside of her bedroom window. Danni, Ryan and CASEY (Ryan’s friend) discuss the find. Casey asks about the symbols that were on the newspaper, believing they are related to the Dark Shadow. Danni is frightened by the idea.
That night, despite covering all the windows, Danni is attacked by the Dark Shadow. Hearing the attack, Ryan rushes to her apartment door. But he is unable to get in, and must listen, helpless, as Danni is torn to shreds.
script can be found here: https://www.scriptrevolution.com/scripts/outside-my-window
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This certainly creates some solid curiosity, but as a logline it could do a lot more. I'd consider trying to communicate more by way of the story's dramatic question, its focus, its dilemma. If the young woman is your protagonist, what is her story goal? And assuming the floating stalker is her antagonist, how does it directly oppose what she wants? Furthermore, try to convey more regarding the stakes. Feel free to come have a chat anytime if you wish.
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