Tasha McLemore, this looks like a really cool idea. I wonder if your logline could use a protagonist and antagonist? And a little tightening? I don't know the story, but I think you can introduce the characters and the main conflict something like this?

A (reluctant elf?) tries to stop an (ambitious prince?) whose lust for power, betrayal, lies, and secrets threaten to destroy a (magical kingdom) inhabited by royals, vampires, and witches.

Robin Gregory, I have been racking my brain all day to figure that out (I did a pitch and was told the same, basically). But this is an ensemble cast. I do have to narrow it down for the pilot episode, though.

Yeah, I've been struggling with the same thing. I taken 2 S32 webinars on creating effective loglines. Basically, the execs say to stick to main characters and conflict of one pilot episode: Protagonist, antagonist, problem.

Example (Star Wars): A spirited farm boy joins a rebellion to save a princess from a sinister imperial enforcer – and the galaxy from a planet-destroying weapon.

Even though there's a vast ensemble of characters in Star Wars, the logline sticks to Luke Skywalker, the princess, and the enforcer. It's easily memorable and repeatable.

They also said that if an exec likes the pilot, she/he may request a pitch deck or synopsis, but rarely more episodes. Typically a showrunner will lead a team to write future episodes. If you have notable credits as a writer, you might find a showrunner yourself, and/or participate on the team. It helps a lot if you own the IP you're adapting (novel, graphic novel, short story, etc.). I hope that helps. This is a crazy biz, isn't it?

Robin Gregory: Can you tell me if you think this one is better?

Oh yes. Tasha McLemore ! Much better. You've got the protagonist, antagonist, and a BIG problem.

Questions:

1) Can you use the word "coven" only once?

2) Would "overzealous" describe a more in-charge but flawed protagonist?

3) "Prove her worth" left me asking to whom? A little confusing.

Would something like this be more clear?

Robin Gregory: I changed it and took your advice. I think this may work better.

Ah yes, Tasha McLemore , it makes so much sense now. Well done! I hope you find a way to get this made into film.