THE STAGE 32 LOGLINES
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THE COMEBACK KID
By Sheala Morrison
A waitress gets caught up in violent chaos between estranged best friends Ben Affleck & Matt Damon when Ben joins her underground wrestling club in Las Vegas.
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For purposes of a logline, the rule of thumb is not to use character names. This wouldn't apply to having "Ben Affleck" and "Matt Damon", but for "Danny," it's best to identify the protagonist in terms relevant to the story. From what I've gathered from "Danny," she is first described as an "aspirational degenerate" but near the end of the logline, "Danny" runs an underground wrestling club. I think if you reconsider the descriptors for Danny to convey the idea she's an aspirational degenerate and runs an underground wrestling club, that may further enhance your logline. And if this is a high-concept script, and sounds like it since it Ben Affleck joins a Fight Club, you may be able to keep it keyed in on that aspect. Or, if you can add what's at risk or what Danny is seeking/wanting to the logline, that may even further enhance your logline. Best wishes!! :)
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Hello Sheala :) I think you took a positive step in the right direction. The logline strikes me as more intriguing. But I'm having a tough time picturing exactly what "violent chaos" represents in terms of story. But maybe the idea of it is enough to trigger a producer to be interested. Good luck to you, Sheala! :)
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Hoping you'll pardon me, I'll us a logline of mine for a Rom/Com as an example...
A flabby hopeless romantic in Michigan's Upper Peninsula, convinced he's found his one true love in an athletic outdoorswoman, fakes expertise in jogging, mountain biking, and fishing to win her over before she marries the athletic outdoorsman she loves in 26 days.
For me, "violent chaos" would be "things he's never done before" in this version of the logline:
A flabby hopeless romantic in Michigan's Upper Peninsula, convinced he's found his one true love in an athletic outdoorswoman, fakes expertise in things he's never done before to win her over before she marries the athletic outdoorsman she loves in 26 days.
So, the question would be "what are these things he's never done before?" Those things are "jogging, mountain biking, and fishing." So, regarding "violent chaos," what is the violent chaos? Anway, I hope you'll pardon me and I hope it proves helpful. :)