i`ts very interesting story

Sounds like a drama with real heart. The corrupt principle is good. I would try to be a little more descriptive -- what is different about this particular story world? Is it a preppy upper-class college or is it a strife-torn inner city school? Being English, I don't know what a "disciplinary alternative school" is. If that is the unique background, you've got a good one. I also wanted to know how is the principle corrupt - what does he do that's so bad for the school and how does this affect the students? And what is the "all" the teachers risk, other than losing their jobs? Are they placed in physical danger? There is good story behind this, I'm sure. It just needs teasing out for the logline to really grab me.

Would you like to read a one-page synopsis? I think that would answer many of your questions. And the principle is a "she", by the way.

And, yes, the teachers are in daily physical danger.

Do they have "reform schools" in the UK?

I'd love to read the entire synopsis if you are ok with letting me read it! The log line left me wanting to know more!!!

How's your reading coming along? I would appreciate any feedback you care to give me. Thanks in advance!

Hmm.. you're talkin about a new Dangerous Mind adaptation (for TV?).. Good idea at first sight seen Shameless's success; deranged or outcast people seem to be picking a lot interest these days. I'd like to point to 2 things.. 1) Cast needs to be perfect if the project makes it on screen. This is among the toughest types of drama. 2) Although network people may have a less scarier memory than me, they might be troubled by the double-resemblance between your project and Dangerous Minds in terms of title and storyline. You may have to come up with a satisfying answer when they'll be deciding to shoot it or not. All in my humble opinion! Would love to take a look at the whole script when and if you have time. Sincerely, Burak

My script is nothing like "Dangerous Minds". It's a pity that you couldn't have let the judges on all the screenplay competitions that I have entered (see the list by clicking the blue "screenplay" link above) know about your concerns with regard to my script. Perhaps that would have changed their conclusions about the quality of the script. By the way, you don't have any loglines listed on your profile. Have you written any screenplays? If so, have any been produced or optioned? Have you entered any contests? Have you placed (quarterfinalist, semifinalist, finalist, winner, etc.)? Are those movie clips you mentioned on your profile page all student projects? Just trying to get a better idea of where you are in your career.

I had three of my plays published and four produced. I have five books self published. I wrote a film called POSSE that was produced and released in 1993. check me out on imdb.com I haven't done a playwriting competitions in years. I won one in 1979. At the moment I am pitching four projects and just finish directing two plays this year. Your log lines are interesting and you should be able to get them off the ground. Keep plugging a way. Nice stuff.

Thanks! I appreciate the kind words!

The heroic teachers seem to be facing threat from both the principal and the kids. If it is truly a "life-and-death" situation, it makes you wonder why the teachers don't just escape. Maybe the log line needs to explain or hint at why they are trapped or can't just escape? However, it does sound interesting and full of potential and the awards show it is obviously well-written.

Every word in a logline is critically important. The word "ultimately" was not placed in the logline for poetic purposes. The "life and death" situation arrives unexpectedly near the end of the story, when the protagonists cannot simply leave the story.

Michael Hardy, I can't find you or any of your projects listed in IMDb, although you list on your Stage 32 personal information page several director and producer credits and two script consultancy credits. I also can't find "Antman International" which you list as an award you won in 2012. Can you shed some light on this? Are we dealing with a "glass house" situation here?

Hey Fam, you do have a whole lot going for you. Keep it up. I love the Logline. Welldone

Interesting!!!

Sounds interesting. Shoot something over if you can.

Interesting!!!

Hmmm I like it.

Sounds exciting. What are the prizes from the contests?

I would like to read the synopsis. I spent two years teaching in an alternative school.