A psychologist with questionable treatment methods operates his practice from a former fast food restaurant.

SYNOPSIS:

Dr. Bill ( Quick Draw ) McGraw is a man of true conviction to his patients. He knows the true value of keeping the mental health of his B & C list clientele as focused on their next straight to video project or reality show. Some may call him the " mental health healer of has-beens" but he'd be the the first to claim you'd have to actually have to have done something in the past in order to be a "has-been" in the future. As long as people recognize them from the bootleg DVD's sold on Lankershim Blvd., then they're not has-beens to him. Thus, he operates his practice from an unusual location - a old drive thru restaurant on the fringes of North Hollywood. Dr.Bill found it cheaper to rent than any property on Wilshire Blvd. No food is served - just wisdom. One of his current clients is actress Lindsey Richie. Tabloid front page darling and poster child for the career suicide hotline, Lindsey has seen and been through so many changes in her life and time. She looks to Dr. Bill as a father figure because she really could not figure her father out and what motivates him. Her mother believes it's their Asian house keeper. His staff consist of two former television writers from the UPN network. T-Dog and Rondell found their employment options limited after HOMEBOYS FROM OUTER SPACE was cancelled. Dr. Bill found them working on stand - up material and moonlighting as security on the set of CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM. They are his go to guys whenever a celebrity is in need of a "reality" check. Dr. Bill's major Achille's heel is that his brother, also a psychologist, is a MAJOR celebrity with a national TV show! Ever since Bill cursed the day he went catfish fishing and his brother picked up a phone call from the Oprah Winfrey Show at the office they used to share in Texas. He flashes back from time to time and finds it hard to swallow catfish - no matter how it's prepared. His journey is leading him through a maze of various personalities. But will he score the random, elusive celebrity trying to make a huge comeback on a highly rated dance show that would take him from B list to A-?

MCREHAB BY MAURICE TYSON COPYWRITTEN 2012

EXT. THE DRIVE THROUGH LINE OF MC REHAB - MORNING HOLLYWOOD,CA.

Lindsey Richie pulls up in her pimped out purple Escalade to

the speaker box. She’s wearing her Fendi sunglasses on top of

another pair of designer frames, her hair is uncombed and in

general - she’s a hot mess! She rolls the window down and a

bunch of pill bottles hit the ground.

V/O SPEAKERBOX

Good morning, Miss Richie. Here for

your 11:00 appointment?

LINDSEY

Why are you shouting at me? I never

did anything to you! You hide in

that little box and think you can

push people around, huh? I’m a

human being, you bastard! I’m a...

CUT TO:

V/O SPEAKERBOX

Look, you drunken pill popping,

crotch - infested, skank! I asked

if you have an appointment with Dr.

McGraw. Yes or no?

BACK TO:

LINDSEY

Yes.
(She stares at the box and

as an afterthought)

And just for the record, my crotch

is not infested.

CUT TO:

V/O SPEAKERBOX

I saw the pictures on TMZ.com - the

crabs were having a race on the

waterslide.

(Laughter)

She drives to the drive through window a few yards down angry

and disgusted because it’s all true.

I/E. DRIVE THROUGH WINDOW OF DR. BILL (QUICK DRAW) MCGRAW -

DAY

He’s wearing a Stetson cowboy hat and chewing tobacco. He

spits a big wad of it out the window aimlessly and...

MATCH CUT TO:

It lands right on Lindsey’s cheek as she pulls up.

CUT TO:

DR.BILL

Lindsey! Great horny toads! I’m

truly sorry about that!

He hands here a wet wipe from a dispenser.

BACK TO:

LINDSEY

That’s O.K.,really - I’m used to

gooey fluids landing on my face.

CUT TO:

DR.BILL

So I’ve heard....you don’t look too

well. Care to come in? Just park in

Anna Nicole’s old spot in the back.

BACK TO:

Her disposition changes slightly.

LINDSEY

Awesome!

INT. DR. MC GRAW’S OFFICE - DAY

A wood paneled office with Ikea furniture and low scale

decoration. On the wall are several pictures with

celebrities.

CLOSE UP / PAN

“I own your soul forever - don’t you ever forget it, Love,

Oprah”

2.

“”If you ever need a good toupee, give me a call, William

Shatner”

“Thanks to you, I’ve overcome my fear of public speaking,

Bless you, Rosie Perez”

“You were there when I needed closure living in that hell

house. I salute you! Bubbles, former chimpanzee of Michael

Jackson”

“I don’t know where my next check is coming from but that

onion ring idea was cool. Thanks,David Chase”

CUT TO:

Lindsey is sitting across from Dr. Bill at a kitchen table

with a plaid table cloth. She lights up a cigarette. Dr. Bill

points to a sign on the wall.

CUT TO:

SIGN READS “YOUR NICOTINE ADDICTION IS MY GOOD FORTUNE! PAY

$5000”!

BACK TO:

Lindsey reaches into her bag and pulls and out 5 wadded up

$1000 bills and hands them to him. Dr. Bill takes the money

and feels a powdery residue on his fingers. He shakes the

bills and the table is covered with white powder.

DR.BILL

Good Lord! Let me guess - late

night at the W Hotel or the Ivy?

She lights up.

LINDSEY

At the Ivy. I went home early

because of my asthma.

DR.BILL

Uh-huh. Then why are you smoking?

LINDSEY

These are clove cigarettes. From

England. They curb my appetite.

DR.BILL

I thought that’s what the nose

candy was for. From Peru, right?

3.

LINDSEY

That’s not my cocaine - it belongs

to my ..... Mom. She’s never been

the same since Dad....since he...

DR.BILL

Went on the Larry King show? I saw

it last night. Listen, when are you

going to take responsibility for

your life? Your fans think your

next car will be a funeral hearse

if you don’t get off your ass and

do something constructive with it!

LINDSEY

But it’s not fair.

She breaks down crying and pulls out what she thinks is a

handkerchief. But in reality, it’s a multi-million dollar

studio contract she’s crying into. She blows her nose...

CUT TO:

A cloud of white powder hits Dr.Bill in the face.

BACK TO:

Lindsey looking defeated. Sobbing.

LINDSEY (CONT’D)

What should I do, Dr. Bill? I

really need help. Please, I’m

begging you!

DR.BILL

Tough times call for tough tactics.

He reaches for his cell phone and hits one button. All at

once, two big black men with sunglasses come through the door

and take Lindsey by the arm. She struggles.

LINDSEY

What are you guys doing? It’s my

mom who does the brothers, not me!

DR.BILL

Relax,you brat! I’ve got the best