THE STAGE 32 LOGLINES

Post your loglines. Get and give feedback.

SEMPER FORTIS
By Matthew W Bertsch

GENRE: Crime, Drama
LOGLINE:

A returning navy veteran has trouble finding work and eventually rises to kingpin status by selling meth.

SYNOPSIS:

We're in a church confessional where we meet DAVID (20s), a Navy veteran recently returned from Afghanistan. A priest encourages David to tell his story.

We flashback to a seedy Albuquerque motel room where David finds his girlfriend VANESSA (20s) slumped on the bed, cold and unresponsive. He administers CPR, then hastily packs his things and places an anonymous call to 911 about Vanessa's condition.

We flashback further to see David's return from the military. David's grandmother ELLEN (60s) cooks him dinner and offers a place to stay. David thanks his grandmother but declines. He'll stay with his old friend SAM until he can find a place of his own.

Sam works at a big box electronics store and makes a money on the side selling weed to kids at the mall. He offers to cut David in but he declines.

David takes a construction job where his coworkers are mostly hardworking Mexicans, including JESUS and JOSE. The pay isn't great but it's the best David can do.

That night, David visits Vanessa at her job - she's a stripper. Vanessa expresses guilt about dancing for strangers. David assures her there's nothing to be ashamed of. The two become a couple.

David asks his boss for a raise and more responsibilities at work. Vanessa is pregnant and they need to get their own place. David's boss doesn't have a position to offer. He thanks the boss and leaves, head hung low.

With no other options, David talks to his coworkers, who he knows can get access to weed. The issue is that he needs more money than small-time weed dealing can provide. Jesus and Jose reluctantly agree to help.

David returns to Sam's place with a bag of meth and smaller bags for distribution. He's got a lot of product to move in one week and no clue how to do it. Sam is shocked by this turn of events but agrees to help.

Over the next week, Sam unloads some of the meth at the mall, while David unloads it at Vanessa's strip club.

David meets up with his suppliers after a tough week of slinging meth. He's made a bit of money but wants out. It's just too dangerous. The drug thugs make it clear leaving is not an option - David is in for good.

David is making money but things aren't going so well on the home front. Vanessa has her baby, EMILY but falls into bad habits. David returns home to find Vanessa nodding out on the bed, a needle and spoon at her side.

Meanwhile, David and Sam fall deeper into the drug game. They expand into the inner city. After a confrontation with a local dealer named OSCAR that results in David getting shot in the hand and Oscar losing a finger, David makes the strategic decision to have Oscar work for him.

We're back at the motel from the earlier scene, where David attempts to revive Vanessa from an overdose. It's no use. Vanessa dies like so many junkies before her. Ellen offers to take care of baby Emily.

David and Sam are riding high. They buy a mansion outside of town a rundown oil change business in the 'hood to use a distribution point. Faced with piles of cash, they head to Vegas to launder their money - they'll declare the cash as gambling winnings.

Things go great in Vegas until Sam catches the gambling bug and loses the money earmarked for repaying their suppliers. David knows this is a serious issue.

Sure enough, the suppliers, who are lead by a gangster named CARLO, are not happy. Carlo's thugs take David and Sam out to the desert and order them to dig two graves. Sam is killed but David is spared. He's got to keep slinging.

David, who has recruited Jose and Jesus to work for him at the oil change shop, is under increasing pressure from both his suppliers and the police. He knows he's got to make an exit as soon as possible before he's busted or killed. After Oscar's accidental death, David hatches a plan to leave the drug game for good.

The police raid the oil change shop but David is ready for them. He plants his identification on Oscar's body and sets the building ablaze.

In the aftermath of the fire, the police inform Ellen that David is dead.

We're back in the confessional, where David finishes his story. He hands the priest a bag of cash and tells him to put it to good use.

We end with a flashback of David packaging his last payment to Carlo with a letter implicating the boss' thugs in skimming off the top. Carlo takes care of them - there will be two fresh graves in the desert.

SEMPER FORTIS

View screenplay
Dawn Brown

Hello. My opinion - adjectives don't help a log line. "dangerous" - that could be many different things and we all know that selling drugs could be "dangerous." Can you put a more exciting, definitive word there? Same for "honest." What does that mean? I hate log lines. I produce them cause no one reads anymore.

Matthew W Bertsch

Thanks for the feedback Dawn. That was a logline I got back from coverage. I've reworded the logline myself. Thoughts?

register for stage 32 Register / Log In