THE STAGE 32 LOGLINES

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AARON BOY

AARON BOY
By Jared Isham

GENRE: Thriller, Comedy
LOGLINE:

An errand boy runs over a corpse and while attempting to dispose of the body he sets the entire county police force after him.

SYNOPSIS:

“Well that didn’t go as planned,” was all Aaron could say while standing over a corpse with blood splattered all over his face while being drenched by pouring rain.

Earlier that evening: Aaron makes a bet with his in-laws on the existence of an obscure beer style and puts his prized possession on the line - his high-school dream car. The compulsive nature and know-it-all attitude pushes him toward failure on this fool’s errand.

Aaron running over the corpse quickly steers the night into a downward spiral, followed by a hit & run poaching incident with a deer. Still, on a mission to save his precious project car and prove his in-laws wrong, his bets start to get out of hand. Every obstacle he faces turns into a new wager and his reckless behavior sets the entire local police department after him.

It was only when he winds up on the riverbank to dump the body that he discovers that his frightful evening all leads back to his father-in-law.

B A Mason

Rated this logline

Jason Todd

Rated this logline

Jared Isham

Thanks for the rating. I think I have a few ideas I'm gonna implement that might make it more enticing. Still working on them, your ratings gave me some insights into what I see are some flaws.

B A Mason was the lack of a hook a reason for only 4 stars? I'm thinking of working in a "then this really big twist happens" moment.

B A Mason

Not at all. It's a fun idea that has me reminiscent of such movies like Dead man on campus, Go, Orange County, etc. We never see those types of movies these days.

It's just that the Logline needs work. It runs on too long and is not very concise. It has so many commas to the point where it feels like a run-on sentence, deterring from the comedic amassing you're going for.

Also, it feels like the sentence should end after dream car - it's not a dependent clause.

Jared Isham

Awesome. I felt the same way about the length. Thanks for the note.

Jared Isham

I made some adjustments to the logline - shorter and hopefully more representative of the tone of the film.

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