I tell the story of when life truly began for me growing up in a crazy world of secret lingo and bullying sales tactics at my father's retail store on the corner of Thirteenth and F Street in Washington, DC. a few blocks from the White House. Based on my book Check the Gs, Retail Baby is the true story of how this bizarre family business changed my world forever.

SYNOPSIS:

‘Retail Baby’ is based on a true story and set in downtown Washington D.C., in

1979. The show follows the misadventures and mishaps of an eclectic sales staff that work at an

unconventional family-owned retail store. Raised by a Cuban Catholic mother and Syrian Jewish

father, referring myself as a Cubyrian Cathojew, I made my first sale at the age of six and never

looked back. Life in the family business was never boring. From FBI interrogations to angry

mobs, each new day at their family business brought with it new adventures. Retail Baby tells a

story for everyone who concedes to their family heritage and not afraid to laugh at its many

eccentricities, and for anyone who has ever worked in retail and experienced its humorous

situations and misadventures.

Day-to-day interactions with people from all walks of life while complying with a strict &

bizarre business code. During the down time of business, we discover drama in the lives of all

the people who work at the store and their families which makes this show entertaining, curious

& humorous. The show is based in 1979 the year of the Sony Walkman. It was a great year for

electronics. We will also return to the earlier years of the 1960s when I was first introduced to

the business as a child through flashbacks.

When a customer walked through the door, we called them a G and Pig-Latin became our spoken

dialect while the sale was in play. We had a clever but simple way of tagging the merchandise

with a lot number code system that showed the wholesale price on each item. The lot system was

used as bargaining leeway for the many African, Mexican, Arab and Israelis G’s who would only

buy something after a long bargaining session. We also had a vigorous bargaining session with

Russians wanting to trade Caviar and Vodka for electronics.

During the workday …My father and his identical twin brother would bark out commands &

orders to the staff … While customers were mingling around inside the store, Dad shouted out

like a Town Crier … “Buy Now & Save” …” Everything must be sold to the bare walls” …

“Don’t push that lady, there’s plenty of room for everyone” … “Who’s next?” Social issues,

worldly events, politics, and happenings all around the city were a big part of the day to day.

There are many colorful characters working as salesmen & saleswomen inside the retail store

and humorous and bizarre characters we see regularly up and down F street.

RETAIL BABY