THE STAGE 32 LOGLINES
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DARK EMPIRE
By Martin Reese
Following his brother the emperor's assassination, a reluctant crown prince ascends the throne of a galactic empire on the verge of collapse, while an old enemy threatens to reignite an interstellar war that could end humanity.
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1 person likes this
In a galactic civilization on the verge of collapse as a dark empire threatens interstellar war a reluctant princess must ascend the throne after her brother's assassination. (It's not just a logline. It's a movie.)
I like the second one, but also the one suggested by James ^
The original piece is a little confusing in its wording, but I love this idea and concept. Not sure about the title myself but meh.
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To avoid confusion, I would write something more like this:
When the emperor of a galactic empire is assassinated, his brother - a reluctant crown prince - ascends to the throne, but with the empire on the verge of collapse and an old enemy threatening to reignite an interstellar war, the fate of humanity rests in the balance.