A struggling middle-aged screenwriter who can't stay offline, and only dates older women, falls in love with an actress half his age who's gone "off-grid" — based on a true story.

SYNOPSIS:

Spike Smith, 46, a British-born LA Screenwriter, has yet to sell a script after 20 years but supports himself by taking family photos and weddings. never date anyone who’s not at least twenty years older than himself. That is until he meets a silver-haired much younger black woman called Kaylee Parsons, 23, who invites him to see her in a raunchy “avant-garde” play after he follows her into the women’s locker room at Gold’s Gym. He tried not to stare but there she was, with no panties and loose running shorts. The line from “Planes, Trains” intrigues Spike. The final clue is when she says: “Open the Pod Bay doors, Hal,” from “A Space Odyssey” and he’s hooked. However Kaylee, after dating one too many writers, has sworn off scribes and disappears with the suave Rex, 70, in a Lamborghini SUV much to Spike’s angst. No deep internet search will help: He bumps into her again at the Baja Cantina with her flirty friend Jonella but still can’t get a phone number or email. She also has a curious “thing” for Gaelic Whisky just like Spike and this female doppelgänger sets Spike off again and he’s now determined to find out more about this strange off-grid woman.

Kaylee, it turns out is, between acting auditions, planning to bring her own Gaelic whisky label to LA. Spike hunts her down at a whisky shop and offers to take photos of Kaylee which she accepts IF he can tell her the brand of whisky on her lips.

Unable to find her again Spike goes on a series of fruitless dates at his favorite restaurant in LA - Casablanca in Venice. Kaylee too goes on many dates. He responds to a question regarding feedback with the helpful: “I know exactly what you mean,” adds a depressed Spike who proceeds to vomit in the bathroom.

Spike staggers out and tumbles into a homeless tent and has all his clothes stolen. He ends up in jail where the other indigents pitch him their movie ideas. He goes out to where he thinks the old coffee joint “Abbot’s Habit” used to be but it’s now an art gallery doing a special showing of Rex. It’s a take on Gustave Courbet’s “The Origin of the World,” Courbet’s scandalous painting showing a woman’s nude bottom half. Spike tells her he’s giving up photography because it’s interrupting his creativity as a writer. Kaylee insists it’s spending time online which is distracting him from writing, not photography.

They dive into the Ale House and, over movie quotes and beer, rekindle their infatuation. But as she bounds off he realizes it contains the love letter. She hangs on a line from his script: “Women fall in love through the ear…” and dreamily walks into the casting room only to start quoting lines from “The Thief of Dubai.” Back at the casting office Kaylee is in a dream, falling for Spike -- and blows the whole audition.

Back at Paramount, the bigwig is losing interest as Spike zones off as he sees Kaylee at City Garage in full Genie gear. "Men fall in love through the eyes…" as Kaylee says: “but women through the ear." Spike returns to the Marina across the wooden bridge near Strongs Drive which burns beneath his feet as he allegorically burns his Hollywood connections.

As the fog creeps into the Marina Kaylee is already sprinting to find Spike’s condo. Unconscious, she lets the love letter slip, and Spike, noticing it’s covered in blood and tears, replaces it.

They kick back relaxing in the living room reading as Kaylee, annoyed by the computer fan’s racket, finally stomps it off. She also notices a famous print: Kaylee’s sitting with Spike and Jon.

It turns out he’s vegetarian and she’s vegan but she keeps the surprise to herself.

Kaylee suddenly decides she’s ready for the photo shoot and strips off, much to Spike’s excited satisfaction. He faints away onto the bed. On the drive home, they have another row and Kaylee slaps Spike like a prizefighter.

Spike gets nowhere with his script but bumps into Kaylee again at the LA Distillery and he invites her to Cinespia.

Sitting in the Hollywood Forever cemetery they make a cute May-September couple. While Kaylee demonstrates the delights of unchilfiltered Gaelic whisky to a few barflies she gets hit on aggressively by a good-looking but brutish South Bay type. But Spike keeps playing with his phone trolling Twitter, and watching TikTok, which drives Kaylee nuts. In despair, he reaches for the Bora, breaks the neck off, and gets a lump of glass stuck in his throat. She tries to leave, he changes her mind and they calm down a bit, downing Advils like candy.

But as he sleeps Kaylee nudges the MacBook which pops into life. She dashes into the bedroom and finds a camera on the door which took photos while she was trying on the genie costume. Then she spots Spike’s personal diary. But as she reads, the tears fall from her eyes. She’s furious at him for the secret photo but he’s livid for her going through his shit. Kaylee goes ballistic.

He orders her a Lyft as she storms out but even the Lyft driver, after finding she read his diary, dumps her on the sidewalk.

Two weeks later at the Formosa Cafe Spike is pitching a producer. They make up.

Back at Spike’s place the next morning they still haven’t made love but start fantasizing about having their own distillery. While he’s keeled over she clocks him with a pillowcase for fun but it actually contains a metal flashlight and Spike goes flying across the room. She takes off, followed by a hobbling spike. Kaylee waits for the response then takes off in tears.

Two weeks later Spike gets a call from an agency that likes his script. While on Windward Avenue he notices the old Venice haunts he used to frequent with Delerner, the ‘first Kaylee.’ He ends up at the King’s Head where he sees a commercial for a Scottish Gaelic dance, a cèilidh, pronounced “Kaylee” and looks up Cèilidh Parsons on Google and finds her instantly. Devastated, she vowed never to go online again.

Spike finally puts his phone in an Internet “jail” and gets some offline time as he squirms to go online and finally finds some peace. Then he deletes all the surreptitious photos of Kaylee and swears off the Internet.

Two months later Spike is giving whisky lessons to a spellbound Maria and Jon at his small local distillery when his phone rings and the caller ID shows Cèilidh, but she’s already in the building. She approves of his first, clear distill as the workers watch, rapt.

Kaylee got the lead in Spike’s new film, partly because, like a commercial audition, she arrived in costume. She flips it onto her tongue and he places it on her finger. “You may now kiss the bride,” says Kaylee and Spike does so. Jon and Maria getting hitched at the Hollywood castle. Then final images of their new house in the Palisades, surrounded by friends, as toddlers in kilts amble around.

MAY SEPTEMBER.