When a naïve couple from a Colorado ranch wins a deluxe river cruise in France, the resourceful wife must overcome temptations of infidelity, uncover blackmailing schemes, and solve a murder to save their marriage.  

SYNOPSIS:

High school sweethearts, KATE and COLT CARLSON (now 28), who have never left their small ranching town in Colorado win a 7-day river cruise in France. Traveling overseas is comically challenging. The first stop is Paris where Colt sneaks out to buy Kate a wedding ring after 10 years, but he loses the ring while boarding the river cruise in Lyon. Colt is infatuated with the gorgeous French Cruise Director, SIMONE DUBOIS (25), but he is determined to nab the ring thief. Kate and Colt’s new friends also include four diverse poker players who call themselves the Bleue-Hair Bandits including an American, ETHYL (65); Spaniard, RUTHIE (70s); Indian, MADHU (70s); and German, WILMA (69). GRANVILLE PALMER (50s), a James Bond-type Englishman, and THERESA MAY (65), a recently widowed black woman, also help to look for the thief. To pigheaded Colt, everyone is a suspect.

The case broadens when the ship’s wine steward and lounge singer, LORENZO RICCI (25) tries to seduce Kate, and he winds up poisoned on the first night of the cruise. Colt, the jealous husband, is presumed guilty and confined to his cabin. Kate feels like her marriage is over, but she rather enjoys Lorenzo’s deluxe stateroom. Still, she feels obligated to assume the role of amateur detective to free her two-timing husband. The investigation leads her into a web of professional jealousy, blackmail, and murder. Luckily, Kate receives ample help from an inept young crew member, PIERRE (21), and the Bleue-Hair Bandits. Kate reciprocates by helping Pierre learn his new tasks as the ship’s new wine steward and lounge singer. What could go wrong?

Kate and Pierre break a few rules and laws in searching for evidence, while the CAPTAIN (55) and Simone take their approach to solving the murder. Simone tries to seduce Colt into confessing guilt, while Kate, Pierre, and the Bleue-Hairs collude to nail the murderer. However, after Wilma dies under suspicious circumstances and her stateroom safe is robbed, the Captain and Simone conduct a “murderer and thief reveal party” that falsely accuses Colt, Theresa, and Granville. Colt’s ring is recovered, finally leading to a romantic night for Kate and Colt. The next morning at the captain’s breakfast table, Kate solves all the crimes with a little help from their new friends, including Simone who becomes apologetic and helpful. Kate reveals that the Captain also was being blackmailed by Lorenzo, so the Captain hired two jewel thieves from London to kill Lorenzo. Kate saves her marriage to Colt, and the Bleue-Hair Bandits and others realize they made more friends in a few days aboard the cruise than they made in the past ten years at home.

RHôNE RIVER COWPOKES BY TOM AND CINDY STOHLGREN