SYNOPSIS:

We can all agree the fight with cancer is long and grueling. Like a pregnancy, cancer changes everything.....Congratulations! It's A Tumor! Like a pregnancy, cancer grows. Like a pregnancy, you entire life evolves are CANCER....Doctor appointments, sickness, hospitals, blood draws, blah blah blah....Time! There isn't enough time! I remember times when I couldn't keep up with all the activities my kids were involved in. Now, can't keep up with all the activities my cancer is involved in. Get the picture? Get the idea? This story is about the FIGHT! It is about how not just cancer, but everyone cancer touches. Yes...It will make you cry. It will make you love, laugh, and inspired. It will make you feel many things. Now we have reached the "meat". It will make you "feel". That's the problem that needs fixed...well, besides trying to survive. We Need To Feel. Cancer consumes life is so many different ways. It not only consumes the "patient", but everyone who is closely involved with the" patient" as well. Even the term "patient" doesn't fit. It is too cold. It is too clinical. We need to FEEL. We need to be human. We need our identity back. Get the picture? Get the idea? http://naesnests.wordpress.com Thump! Thump! Thump! The pages are turning for me One page at a time The ticking of a clock The grains of sand The beat of a drum Thump, Thump, Thump My heart skipping The story unfolds Stop reading Stop time Stop the beating Thump, Thump, Thump My heart ticking by A beat at a time The grains of sand The turning of a page The story the same Thump, Thump, Thump How does it end? Put the book down I don't want to know I need to peek Jump to the end Thump, Thump, Thump No! The hands tick for me The pages turn for me No stopping, No rewind No stopping time So near the end Thump, Thump, Thump The end of the book Stop reading Thump, Thump, Thump Heart races Thump, Thump, Thump Faster, faster Spinning, collapsing End of time Falling, darkness Thump, Thump...............nothing......................... http://naesnests.wordpress.com

(GIGGLES, HICCUP!)

Fight To The Death This phase of life is another chapter Gripping with the terror of a carnivorous raptor Historic disease meets futuristic science Political search for a peaceful alliance Bloody fangs and flesh tearing claws Verse infused bloodlines and scientific laws Nature's creation fighting man-made concoctions One wrong decision leads to a fatal direction One spin of the barrel and the trigger pulled Expecting an explosion but am fooled Living for a new round of this hideous game My body held hostage, bound and restrained Helpless against this incredible force Begins with mutated cell of unknown source Continues to grow until too strong Sucking life out of its host too long Not satisfied until the death, Addicted high - a natural meth Nightmare book, skip this chapter - I cannot! I am held down by the raptor! Wake me up! Let this be a dream! - Please someone! Anyone! Hear my screams! (giggles, hiccup!) "When He is here, I simply don't know what to do. Its like I am consumed. I can't think of anything else. I can't breathe anything else. I can't do anything else. I am with Him, but I am alone." "It is difficult to explain. I am happier when He is gone. I know, I know! I know exactly what you are thinking:" 'Why don't you just get rid of Him? Kick His ass out! I wouldn't put up with Him. I'd tell Him how it is gonna be and if He doesn't like it...well then Tough Shit!' "Well, maybe you didn't say that exactly... But you know what I mean. And to answer you:" "Don't you think I've tried? I'm not stupid! I know He isn't any good for me. Fact is, I can't even stand Him! " (tears) "Look, I've told Him to hit the road. I've told Him ITS OVER! What can I do? Call the cops? Little help they are. The cops tell me I need a freaking Doctor! Can you believe it? Like it is all in my head!" "Well guess what?... I go to the Doctor. You know what he says?" "Nope....you're wrong." "Ha! Not that either!" "You were gonna say the Doctor tells me to "call the cops", right?" "Told ya you are wrong!" (giggles) "The Doctor tells me I need a Doctor! It sounds funny when I put it that way, but I swear! That's exactly what he says!" "I don't need nor do I want that kind of Doctor." (frown) "Don't you start on me about that too! I just need to ramble and vent and laugh and forget. I do not need someone telling me I am nuts on top of everything else...OK? Please? I just need you to sit there, smile and nod. That's all. YOU DO NOT EVEN HAVE TO SAY ANYTHING INTELLIGENT!" "I am sorry to yell." (tears) "I don't mean too. You have always been there for me. You are always so good and sweet. I need you, really. I am over-tired, over-medicated and over-emotional. I don't want you to feel sorry for me. I don't want to make you feel bad or hurt you. I guess, I just selfishly want to use you as my verbal punching bag! " (giggles, hiccup, giggles) "I am so sorry I said that" (giggles) "No, I'm not!" (giggles, tears, hiccup, giggles) "I'll be back. I gotta pee!" (giggles) "I am sorry about that. But it does feel good to laugh. I am just going through a rough patch, that's all. I'll get through it. You are fantastic. Please! Don't be upset with me. I do not mean to hurt you. I just blurted out all this gibberish to hang on to that last little bit of hope. That's all. I know you care, I know you are always there for me and I know you love me. That's why I can talk to you like this, ya know? I need that more than anything else." "I know you feel helpless and wish you could do more. This is exactly what I need and I can't thank you enough. I'll take care of Him. Eventually, He will be gone. That's what I am shooting for anyway. Ha-ha!" "Seriously though. Let's just wait and see what happens. I am not going to change my mind. I want Him to leave and will continue to do everything I can. I Promise!" "He's just like a...like a tumor!" http://naesnests.wordpress.com